• The REAL rules are about becoming who I really am, and finding a man to love me for me.
• No Fear. Of Being alone, or unattractive or not interesting enough.

I. Am. Enough.

• When motivated by fear, that is never from my most powerful self.
• Positive Principle of Love. Honoring myself and my partner.
• My purpose is to grow into the best version of myself.
• My love life needs to find the right man for the REAL me.
• Once found, my goal needs to be to work with him to create a HEALTHY, LOVING, MUTUALLY RESPECTFUL, REAL, relationship.
• I need to make sure he is what I am looking for first. I am not here to become what he wants me to be. I am me, not him.
• Treat Men as I want to be treated (Golden Rule anyone?) AKA What Goes Around Comes Around. For Damn Sure.
• Men need as much love and reassurance as I do.
• I need to stay away from "Old Rules" men.
• As i put the "real rules" into practice, "old rules" men will be weeded out. Basically.
• Don't Play Games.
• Just because he WANTS ME doesn't mean he LOVES ME.
• Basically I need to stay away from the "hunter-prey" mindset with men.
• I am not a trophy to be earned or won or shown off.
• Be Myself!
• I am Unique! I am Me!
• If I like someone, let them know!
• Ask questions before getting involved
• * Family background, quality of family relationships
• * Past love relationships and reasons for breaking up
• * Lessons learned from life experiences
• * Ethics, Values, Morals
• * Attitude about love, commitment, communication
• * Spiritual/religious philosophy
• * Personal/Professional goals
• Don't date a man who isn't completely available
• Look for a man with good character
• Personality does NOT equal Character
• Looking for a commitment can make me blind to his character
• 6 Important Traits to look for
• * Commitment to Growing and Improving
• * Emotional Openness
• * Integrity
• * Maturity and Responsibility
• * High Self-Esteem - He can only love me as much as he loves himself
• * Positive Attitude Toward Life
• Pay Attention to Warning Signs of Possible Problems
• Most of the time, it's he who deceives me, not I.
• Next time i see/hear a warning sign, DO NOT MINIMIZE IT'S IMPORTANCE
• DO NOT - MAKE EXCUSES FOR HIM
• DO NOT -RATIONALIZE
• DO NOT - DENY IT
• DO NOT - RETREAT INTO FANTASYLAND
• Judge him by his heart, not his wallet(duh)
• No double standards(again, duh)
• * Deal with money issues in a fair and equitable manner
• * Respect his time and obligations
• * If i want to call him, call him!
• Don't Fall In Love With His Potential
• Be Honest About Your Feelings
• * Communication that works always has honesty as its foundation
• * Emotional Honesty Creates Intimacy
• * Your emotional honesty gives him permission to open up
• * Emotional honesty prevents misunderstandings that could sabotage the relationship
• * Emotional dishonesty reinforces negative character traits
• * Emotional dishonesty can attract the wrong man into my life
• Show Your Most Attractive Feature - Your Mind
• * Never compromise your values or edit your opinions in order to get him to like me
• Be Emotionally Generous, Not Emotionally Stingy
• * Appreciate a Man With Words, they need to hear it from you on order to open their hearts
• * Show Your Gratitude
• Wait Until We Are Emotionally Intimate Before Becoming Sexually Intimate
• * Don't Sleep With Someone You Don't Want To Become
• Don't Lower Myself to Behaving Like a Sex Object
• Apply The Real Rules In Bed
• * Remember that he needs as much love and reassurance as I do
• * Don't Play Games(like never fake an orgasm)
• * Be Yourself
• * Pay Attention to Warning Signs of Possible Problems
• * Very Controlling in bed can mean he feels out of control in his life or is afraid of being controlled by a woman
• * He aces to get sex over with - He might feel its dirty and feels guilty enjoying it
• * He is an insensitive, selfish lover - may be like that in real life and just haven't seen it
• * He is a sexual performer - probably self-centered, narcissistic and incapable of loving anyone but himself
• * He is totally inexpressive - He has a hard time expressing his feelings, in or out of bed
• * Can't have sex without being high or intoxicated - He has an addiction(obviously)
• * Be Honest About Your Feelings
• Tell what what I like and dislike
• Let him know how I feel
• Be emotionally open so he can be
• Talk together when not in bed about our attitudes toward sex, my wants and needs
• Educate him about my body
• * Be Emotionally Generous, Not Stingy
• Make Sure the Relationship Goes Through the 4 Stages of Commitment
• 1. Commitment to be Sexually and Emotionally Monogamous- 0-3mts
• 2. Commitment to Work Toward a Partnership- 3-6mts
• 3. Commitment to Spend Your Future Together- 6mts to however long you need
• Ready for lvl3 Commitment when
• * Have a strong, healthy partnership that is functioning well almost all the time
• * I feel sure I want to spend our future together, if not the rest of my life
• * I have no desire to investigate anyone else as a possible partner
• * I feel totally loved and appreciated by my partner almost all the time
• 4. Commitment to Spend the Rest of Our Lives Together
• *Ready when we've had a lvl3 commitment for some time
• * Total trust and faith in the relationship and its ability to grow as well as survive whatever adversity it faces
• * I feel excited about exploring deeper levels of love, intimacy and surrender with your partner
• * I am sure that I and my partner have enough compatibility to be "right" for each other
• Real Commitments Are More Valuable Than an Engagement Ring
• Never Pressure a Man Into Making a Commitment