- Today, I went to a drugstore to pick up a box of tampons, pain killers, and chocolate. Clearly looking like a mess, I happened to come to a register with a really cute guy who looked at all the items and said "Do you want a hug?" He then came around his register and gave me the best bear hug ever. Made my day. MLIA.
- Today, we were going over vocab words in English. We got to "malevolent", and our teacher asked us about malevolent characters, for example Darth Vader. I said, "Voldemort". My friend said, "Hannah Montana". I think he won.
- Today I found out my dad got kicked out of residence at University because he set up a microphone in his room while his roommate was 'having relations' with some chick, and rigged it up to a speaker in the common room. MLIA.
- Today, I decided to skip one of my classes. I got an email about a half hour later that said "Go outside to the tree with red 'X' on it". I did as I was told and found my entire class standing in single file behind the tree with my teacher in the lead. He said to me "We had to send out the special unit to find you!". It`s good to know that I have a special unit to find me if I ever go missing. MLIA.
- Today I was in the hall at my locker, when I heard: "dude, what are you talking about? Unicorns and rainbows are the shit!" I turned to see the star of the soccer team glaring at one of his friends... I will never judge them again. MLIA.
- Today, we had a pep rally at our school. On the way down the hallway, I heard the Jaws theme song so, naturally, I looked around for the source. I then saw my History teacher running down the hallway screaming and a tuba player running after her, playing Jaws, with a plastic fin taped to his head. I'm looking forwards to our next pep rally. MLIA.
- Today, my landlord came over early this morning, forgetting to wash the green face mask I had put on the night before, I answered the door. She now refers to me as the Wicked Witch of the West, her name is Dorothy. MLIA
- On Halloween night I was trick-or-treating with my friend. I came across this man dressed in a Darth Vader costume. He looks at me and says, "I am your father." I was very freaked out until he took off his mask. Turns out, he actually was my dad. MLIA
- Today, we had a very old substitute. Me and my friend decided to make things exciting by very slowly moving the desks forward whenever she wasn't looking. Eventually the whole class was in it, and by the end of the period we were all squished at the front of the class. She couldn't figure out why were were laughing. I love old people. MLIA
- Last night, I woke up after having a dream about being shot in the stomach. I felt it to check, and noticed a small hole. I was really freaked out until I realised it was my belly button. MLIA
- Today, my dad was telling me a story about how we were at a park when I was about 5 or 6. He called me over to go home. We were driving away when 3 police cars surrounded us. Apparently an old lady called the cops, accusing my dad of kidnapping me. MLIA
- I work at a movie theater. My job is to sit in the box above the theater in play the movies. I also have a microphone so that I can tell people to settle down before the movie starts. Today, I was playing New Moon for like the 50th time, and there were only 2 little girls in the theater. I spent about ten minutes whispering "Edward's watching you.." & "Killlllll herr...." over and over into the mic. before the movies started. The girl's faces, priceless. MLIA
- Yesterday, I was in the waiting room for an x-ray, with my mom sitting beside me. Since waiting usually takes a while, she starts flipping through a National Geographic magazine. A few seconds later, she pokes me and shows me a picture of a cute, hedgehog looking creature. "It's a pika!" she says. Then, out of nowhere yells "IT'S ENDANGERED!? I WILL SAVE YOU PIKACHU!" then runs out of the waiting room leaving me and everybody else baffled. I didn't see her until after my x-ray. Mom, I love you. MLIA
- Today, my dad walked into a changing room at a store and immediately started apologizing for walking in on another man. He then realized that he was apologizing to his reflection in the mirror. MLIA
- Today, in chemistry we were talking about 3D movies. My friend then said she thought it would be cool if our lives were in 3D and we explained to her that we are in 3D. She said she understood but she thought it would be cool if things would come out at you like in the movies. I threw i pencil at her. I think she finally understood. MLIA.
- A few days ago, I started singing The Circle of Life from the Lion King. My mom, who was in the next room with the door closed, asked me to put the cat down. She knows me too well. MLIA
- Today, I decided to take my cat for a walk. I don't have a leash so I used a laser pointer. It was the most fun I've had all week. MLIA
- Today I discovered that if you say Jesus backwards, it sounds like sausage. MLIA
- Today while I was in the Target toy section I went up to a toy dog that makes sound when you press its paw, so I pressed it. It meowed. MLIA
- Yesterday, I was on a run when I ran by a police car. He drove up to me and said, "I'm bored, can I drive behind you and pretend I'm chasing you with my sirens on?" I think we freaked out a lot of other drivers. MLIA
- Today, I realised that when I rEaD tExT lIkE tHiS, the voice inside my head fluctuates constantly from yelling to speaking normally. MLIA
- Today, I crawled over my pile of teddy bears. I accidentally knelt on one that talks. He said "OUCH! Don't do that!" I felt bad. MLIA.
- Today I was looking after my six-year old sister while my parents shopped around for furniture. My sister found a quilt cover with Chinese writing all over it, and said to my dad, "buy this, it's Chinese like you!" A little African kid nearby heard and turned to his dad, pointing at a black cover and saying "hey dad, buy this, it's black like you!"
- Today a telemarketer called my house. I am a freshman in high school who takes spanish. so I answered the phone in spanish. He took a minute to respond... in french. MLIA
- Today, I learned that while my grandmother was in the hospital for a stroke, she referred to my grandfather not as her husband, but as "the man with the cute butt". MLIA
- Today I saw a blue-grey line on my counter and I didn't know what it was. I spent 10 minutes trying to scrub off the stain. After my hand started to hurt, I realized that the line was the shadow of an open cupboard above me. MLIA
- Today, I took a really hard multiple choice test. All of the answers were a-e and on one of the questions there was an f but nothing next to it, so I wrote in "one of the above" and circled it. We graded the tests ourselves and I counted it right. MLIA
- Today, I got a random text saying "I demand a rematch!" I then proceded to text back and say "Meet at K-7 Walmart in 15 - bring a weapon of your choice." Guess who had an epic lightsaber duel in the produce section? Same person who has a date tomorrow night with the man she's had a crush on for years. MLIA.
- Today, I googled my brother. I got a picture of him wearing a dress. MLIA.
- Today, I was eating and watching TV. My mum yelled at me to stop staring at the TV and eat before my food gets cold. I was eating ice cream. MLIA
- Today, I went to see New Moon. At the scene where Jacob takes his shirt off, I was expecting all the girls to scream but instead some guy infront of me yelled "Bellas turn!". i high-fived him. MLIA
- Last year, my band went on a trip to Miami Fl where my friend got a tribal dragon henna tatto. A week later my friend's tattoo had disappeared and was replaced by an ugly rash in the shape of this dragon. She now has a scar in the shape of a dragon and has convinced her entire german class that she is a part of a ninja assasin cult including her teacher and sworn them to secercy by fear of death. Best friend ever? I think so.
- Today, while driving, I passed a sign saying "If you lived here, you would be home now." MLIA
- This morning, my dad told me about how last night he dreamt that in the middle of the night, I was in his room and I said, "The chipmunk is swimming away! If you listen, you can hear the banana pickle!". It wasn't a dream. I went into his room to get my laptop back and when he woke up I said something weird so he would think he was dreaming if he remembered it. MLIA
- Today I read the MLIA about someone asking for a happy meal with extra happy. I decided to try this in KFC with their equivalent to a happy meal. It was only after I'd ordered that I realised how inappropriate asking for a 'kids meal with extra kids' was. MLIA.
- Today, I found out that October 5 is one of the most popular birthdays in the world. Why? Because its nine months from New Years. Guess who now knows what her parents did 16 years ago on New Years? MLIA
- Today, I learned that Duct Tape was, in fact, originally called Duck Tape. Told you so. MLIA
- Today, I found out that the last 4 digits of my local hospital spells "Ouch". MLIA
- The other day in English there were a couple guys talking while our teacher was talking. This was a common occurrence so I just ignored them. My teacher, however, told them if they didn't shut up he would place their desks at the very front and face them across from each other like a "date". They stopped talking for all of 10 seconds so he told them to move their desks to the front. Once positioned as a "date" my teacher then proceeded to play romantic music from his laptop and turn off all the lights. The 2 guys who were on a "date" couldn't even look at each other it was so awkward. I always knew he was my favorite teacher. MLIA
- Today is my friends birthday.. She asked what the date was. MLIA
- Yesterday, my best friend slept over with me. The next morning she showed me a video of me mumbling 'The cake is a lie. The lie is a pie. The pie is a spy. The spy is Bill Nye.' I'm not sure if I even want to know what I was dreaming about. MLIA
- Today I saw two girls with arms locked skipping down the hall. A guy asked them what they were doing and they said they were recreating the Wizard of Oz skip down the yellow brick road. He told them how they were doing it wrong and then showed them the proper way to skip. I'm in college. MLIA
- Today I sneezed while texting my boyfriend and he texted back saying bless you. How did he know I sneezed? He was at my house playing the xbox with my brother and I had no idea whatsoever. MLIA
- Today, my friend put as his facebook status "going to go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, then maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience." I will never call it sleeping again. MLIA.
jan 15 2010 ∞
apr 15 2010 +