• the time I called Addison the wrong name and he rushed out the door, refusing to speak to me, just to dump me on Facebook the next morning
• the three hours I dated Mason in ninth grade, he felt me up just to dump me the same night, but he still stayed on the phone with me for seven hours
• the summer Barry dumped me because I wouldn't lose my virginity in a threesome
• the thousand break-ups Devin and I had because he wouldn't stop kissing my best friend
• the time Addison left all my shit at my mailbox while I was in line at Zaxby's with my mom, including a used condom

On a cute side note, I put a final end to all these relationships.