• walking, just the whole act of walking
• remembering Latin declensions (first, second...)
• waking up in the mornings, waking up in the afternoon
• being in love, well being faithful and shit
• picking up Queen Elizabeth's shit without complaining
• washing clothes, washing dishes
• staying awake for more than an hour
• eating, well I'm good at eating, but that's bad
• doing yoga poses without Skip coaching me

• fuck
• college
• i'm so
• goddamn
• busy
• there's no bathtub here

Oh.

• I have such a potty-mouth
• I'm so insecure
• I don't follow through on anything
• I can't stop myself from over-eating
• I'm too shy to make friends easily
• I never push myself
• I have the worst complexion
• I'm not really brave or exciting
• I just can't tell anyone no

• there's a Starbucks in the funeral home
• a drive from one end to the other takes about fifteen minutes
• home of the largest Walmart in the southeast from what I hear
• known as Sleasley by surrounding towns
• the mountains are close enough for quick trips before sunset
• you'll always be marked by which of the five elementary schools you attended
• nothing tends to stay in business long downtown
• the local McDonald's is always hiring
• a high school drop out wrote a rap song about Easley called "Green and White" like the Wiz Khalifa song
• everyone just drives half an hour to go shopping
• the movie theater just started showing 3-D movies

• giving cute gifts
• remembering birthdays and anniversaries
• cuddling
• winning arguments
• saying "I love you" before bed
• forgiving, most of the time
• forcing you to like Led Zeppelin
• pretending I don't hate your favorite movies and bands
• cuddling
• making sure you fall more in love with me than I am with you
• missing you when you're gone for half an hour, but not caring when your gone for two weeks

• Star Wars
• Checkers burgers
• F. Scott Fitzgerald books
• La Finca
• Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit
• Led Zeppelin
• Bright Eyes
• Star Trek
• sushi
• Adventure Time
• Wes Anderson films
• Camel cigarettes
• Fable games

• the backseat of a Volkswagen Beetle
• underneath a dogwood tree with our drunk friends sitting on the porch
• Robinson Memorial Gardens (that's a graveyard)
• on the oversized cushioned foot rest in the fancy room
• Dale Stone's art studio where I took art lessons as a kid
• in the back of Mr. WynDham's Honda
• some field up a mountain road
• on a treadmill
• the pool table in the WynDham's basement
• against my dad's garage late one night
• a pillow and blanket fort in Victoria's living room
• on the ceramic floor of the laundry room, right in front of the back door
• in several showers

• a bit of understanding on this whole life thing
• a chance to haunt the shit out of the living
• an unlimited supply of Marlboro Reds

• what it feels like when your best friend has sex with your first love
• where babies come from
• how much alcohol I can drink before I can't remember the night before
• what my mom's face looks like after she cries
• how to hide the sound of throwing up
• how you feel about me
• what it's like the have a broken heart

• a pug, I'd name him Bilbo
• a hummus pita from Pita Pit
• the cute resident advisor from downstairs

• I'll celebrate a year since my first kiss with Josh in five days
• I turn eighteen in nine days
• college starts for me on the twenty-first, I'm terrified
• it's not even move-in day, but I already miss my mom so much
• I'm trying hard to finish Harvest Moon: Animal Parade
• but, I'm also trying to finish reading The Hobbit
• oh, and I'm trying to quit smoking, that's not working one bit
• deciding on a major is impossible
• I just want to live at home until I'm middle-aged
• most of all, I'm just working on bettering myself

• serial killers
• cigarette brands
• Harry Potter-related stuff
• shit about the Marines
• proper grammar, despite my love for run-on sentences and excessive comma usage
• a bunch of Wes Anderson movies
• my friends' sex lives
• Harvest Moon games
• Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin
• anything Lost

• at some football game for a high school I didn't even go to
• right beside the shed in Victoria's yard
• on the corner of my bed after we'd been left alone for the first time
• a back porch that I can't even remember
• right in the door frame of the Stone's house
• in the woods during a camping trip, well the current trip was to the bathroom
• behind an oversized fir during a game of hide-and-seek

• Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Heathers
• Harold and Maude
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
• The Big Lebowski
• Rushmore
• A Clockwork Orange
• Donnie Darko
• Fight Club

• Tyler Cummings
• Devin Anderson
• Mason Davis
• Victoria Hewlett
• Barry Mabe
• Addison Stone
• Mallori Baldwin
• Kevin Trueland
• Josh WynDham
• Briana Williams
• Brenna Golden
• Trevor Shortt
• JT Youngblood
• Savannah Bagwell

• don't I bore you?
• isn't there someone else you'd prefer?
• did you love your ex-girlfriend more?
• but, I need to lose weight
• I'm overemotional
• you'd make out with one of my friends
• wouldn't you rather be with someone who is like, fun?
• you don't care about me
• I'm just not good at sex
• oh dear, there's nothing left for us to talk about
• what if this ends badly?

• the time I called Addison the wrong name and he rushed out the door, refusing to speak to me, just to dump me on Facebook the next morning
• the three hours I dated Mason in ninth grade, he felt me up just to dump me the same night, but he still stayed on the phone with me for seven hours
• the summer Barry dumped me because I wouldn't lose my virginity in a threesome
• the thousand break-ups Devin and I had because he wouldn't stop kissing my best friend
• the time Addison left all my shit at my mailbox while I was in line at Zaxby's with my mom, including a used condom

On a cute side note, I put a final end to all these relationships.

• a bassist who can play the entire blink-182 discography
• a film school student who can quote just about any classic film
• a aspiring writer who has the most creative ideas for short stories
• a future alcoholic who can take fifteen Jell-O shots and finish a bottle of rum within a few hours
• a resident of New Mexico who can make up songs on spot when she's stoned
• a seventeen-year-old with a full beard who can fake a doctor's note
• a friend no one even likes, but still manages to be invited to all the get-togethers
• a spoiled boy who always manages to get out of cleaning up after parties
• a redhead who has multiple orgasms
• a gay guy who really is good at math
• a little version of me with an incredibly...

• well, it's ending
• 1 year 2 months 8 days
• 14 months 8 days
• 62 weeks 1 day
• 435 days
• 311 weekdays
• 1.19 years

• a certain Tom Waits song
• you - when you're drunk, asshole, total douche you
• homesickness, homesickness, homesickness
• Pixar's Up
• Mom crying
• homesickness, homesickness, homesickness
• nose piercings
• too hot coffee
• homesickness, homesickness, homesickness
• you - you're the one person I can talk to, even if you're four hours from me
• homesickness, homesickness, homesickness
• you - when you can't even talk to me for half an hour
• ramen sticking to the sink
• college

• I love you, but I'm in love with you.
• I move to Charleston in three, well less than two, days.
• I ran over a pair of screws, and I feel like I should apologize to Mister Prius.
• I'm almost able to purchase packs of cigarettes - that means I'll never quit.
• I'm not going to be able to see Briana and Thomas for quite a while, but it's going to be even harder leaving Mom and Dad.
• I'm fat.
• I've had more panic attacks in the last two weeks than I've had over the past six months.
• I don't think I'm ready for any of this.

• your faith that remains strong even though you're alone
• your calm exterior, despite how upset you can be in there
• your deep-seated jealousy, wait, that's not admirable
• your indifference towards almost everyone around you
• your nurturing side that comes out when someone's drunk or someone's sad
• your incredible perseverance when it comes to drinking an excessive amounts of alcohol
• your intelligence even if it gets fucking annoying sometimes
• your talent with short stories and couplet-style poems
• your well, everything because your me for the most part and I'm a closet narcissist

• Kerouac's Dean Moriarty
• Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man
• Fitzgerald's Amory Blaine
• Dexter Morgan from Dexter
• Palahniuk's Rant Casey
• Tolkien's Aragorn and Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn
• Harrison Ford as Han Solo
• Ron Weasley from Harry Potter

• be confident.
• weigh just about a hundred pounds.
• have a sibling to grow up with.
• be alone for weeks at a time.
• wake up beside you each morning.
• conquer social anxiety disorder.
• be with someone just once.
• have a passion.
• get a tattoo.
• feel beautiful and brilliant.
• be comfortable when it comes to public speaking.
• finish writing a novel.
• follow through.
• drown in the ocean.

• you lived right behind Victoria's, my best friend who I just about lived with over summers
• although we'd met before, we'd talk for the first time at a high school football game, a high school I didn't even go to, and you'd think I was cute for making diabetic jokes and liking Kill Hannah
• I'd known you since fifth grade when you wore Pokémon t-shirts and talked about Hitler a lot
• after your break-up with a friend, I spent an entire summer consoling you through text messages
• we'd meet for the first time when I was still in elementary school, your dad gave me art lessons for over a year, and I'd see you in the afternoons when you got home from middle school
• another friend's ex-boyfriend, when we first met I asked you if you had nipple rin...

• Arizona
• New Mexico
• Georgia
• Florida
• North Carolina
• Wisconsin
• Texas
• Kentucky
• Alabama
• Louisiana
• Minnesota
• Mississippi
• South Carolina
• Tennessee
• Arkansas
• Oklahoma
• Illinois

• waiting in line at Walmart for the midnight release of the latest Harry Potter book
• leaving books in the bathroom for him to read
• trying to name all the members of Mötley Crüe at the Chic-Fil-A drive-thru
• watching NASCAR with him and picking favorites based on their car design
• bringing me honey buns late at night because I just really wanted one
• suggesting books for him to read at Barnes & Noble
• running to his room when I thought there were monsters in mine
• watching Mom rub Nair on his back before trips to the lake
• listening to him try to give me boy advice, but it always came out as "boys are dumb, all of them"
• waiting to see his reaction to birthday c...

• watching your hands when you played anything Zeppelin on the guitar
• listening to Beatles cassettes in your Explorer
• trading books
• hiding under the covers just to text message you
• having you wait for me in the mornings, just to walk with me to class
• waking up to go smoke joints and eat Cracker Barrel
• driving around in circles, waiting for you to hold my hand
• being your first love