David Neyra9 months ago (edited)

honestly for me after a breakup, the story is over, its good to leave in good terms as adults that we are, wish each other good luck and walk away, if life happens to bring us together in the future then so be it, but been friends with an ex is just not it for me, because feelings tend to return, and things might get worse, its better to let it go, time heals all and focus on working on yourself, your career, hang out with friends, family etc. Like my last one where we just talked, wished each other good luck and walked away, no reason to be angry, or sad, we have no time to feel sad about why things didn't work out, we must make the best of life, if things didn't work out its because that person is not the one for you, there's always someone out there for everyone. It's better to not be friends with an ex while in another relationship because sometimes you don't know how an ex might think or try to do, there is always a something called "grudges or feelings" that can return.

-- [5 Stages Of A Break Up For The Dumper]

Darrin G.2 months ago First off, you don't go into relationships to "Fix or Change" people...or the problems. Only communications and to some extent compromising will resolve matters, or at the very least...decide if you need to move on. If you wanted the relationship to work, you should've accepted them the way they are, and may try to subtlety and gradually work out the problems between you! --

John Murphy1 month ago No Contact is to get yourself back after a breakup. It’s used to rediscover your passions, goals, desires, and standards. Don’t do it to get anyone but yourself back! The right people will gravitate toward you and your energy. (This is coming from a guy who is 6 months into a break up with my fiancé after 5 years together.) you will get to a point where you are happy with yourself and won’t rely on another for happiness.

John Murphy1 month ago Argonaut you and me both, man... especially when we were going to get married. But that’s just it, we started dating when she was 19. So for her entire adult life she was in a committed relationship. Possibly Grass Is Greener or Quarter Life Crisis but also had some personal things that was preventing herself from being confident and forgiving. I can mind read and overthink about it all day but what’s done is done. We had a great relationship, learned a lot from each other and grew together. I love her and she loves me and if we end up working things out then that’s awesome, if not, I’ll live. She’s an amazing woman and I wish her the best.

John Murphy1 month ago The Auburn Abroad I’m so sorry to hear that. My best advice, go watch some videos from the Love Chat or the Dating Guy. I had no idea what to do or how to feel my my ex left and those two channels helped me work through the pain and get to an understanding of why things happen. Hang in there, things will get easier, I promise.

John Murphy1 week ago Jose Amaya focus on yourself. Take this time to reinvent yourself, find your passions and goals and work to be the best you can be. You are young, it’ll be okay.

cclar143 weeks ago Absolutely. I loved her dearly but it didn't work. The first time. The second time or the third time. What we miss is the expectations of the relationship. Not the relationship itself

-- [7 Signs Someone is Obsessed With You, Not Love]

SmOL AysHii2 weeks ago If you're in a relationship, ask yourself this: are you really in love or are you just afraid to be alone?

SmOL AysHii1 week ago It made me think about how many of us can misunderstand if we truly love a person, we can misjudge these feelings as obsession, lust, fondness or even a simple crush. We should take the time to really tell if what we feel really is aimed at a particular person, as a whole. Not aimed at your idea of them, their body, their reputation, money and etc. Love is love, and you'll know it, when you feel it:) Thank you for this amazing video! I love Psychology and getting the chance to explore it in this channel is wonderful <3

SmOL AysHii1 week ago (edited) I suggest to be strong and get through your problems together. Being in relationships need teamwork and cooperation. You two shouldn't let these fights and quarrels break up a bond you two have for each other. These fights and arguments are suppose to keep the relationship healthy, it helps both parties grow and communicate with each other. You two should talk it out! If your fights are only making it worse as time goes by, then I suggest to break it off. Being together won't solve anything unless you give each other time to breathe. Give each other space and spend time with your family and friends while you're on it! Spend that time reflecting on yourself and know that your decisions are what was best for both of you. Not everything lasts, and that's okay. In the meantime, I wish you both the best and I hope you'll get through it! I understand you love her with all your heart, but it's for the best that what ever happens, you'll make wise decisions:)

SmOL AysHii1 week ago Sometimes two people are not right for each other. There are billions more out there and just take it slow, it takes time to heal. You're not alone, you don't need someone to be happy, only you can provide that type of happiness

-- []

Midnight Sonnet11 months ago "I have been in a lot of relationships where I feel I forced things to work more than I naturally loved our relationship and the person."

That right there is why you can't find your tribe. Your insecurities around relationships keeps you from actually making a true connection. It's hard to feel a connection with someone when you're not even giving them a chance. If you're too focused on "making it work", you're missing out on letting things naturally flow in the direction it's meant to.

I recommend becoming best friends with a person before dating them. Get to know them very well and see if you're compatible. Don't force anything. Let the relationship rise or fall naturally. Be yourself and relax, knowing that you're not in a romantic relationship at that time and are just testing the waters. The relationships that last the longest are ones that involve both people saying that they are best friends. Find someone you can be at your best and worst around and they'll still want to be with you. If you try to put on a "perfect" facade in order to attract them, they will find out sooner or later that they'd been duped and they'll more than likely leave. Find someone you can spend hours talking to about anything and everything. The best relationships lift each other up and encourage them to be their best selves without expectations.

Also, stop looking for a relationship. Work on yourself for awhile and build a life that doesn't revolve around finding the right person. Trust me when I say that that person will come to you, whether you're ready or not. They'll come at the right time, so don't force it. Only start dating once you're confident that you won't try to force anything in a relationship.

Midnight Sonnet2 weeks ago @Marta Perlicka You're very welcome, hun. Know that things will work out they way they were meant to, whether it hurts temporarily or makes you feel elated. Every moment is a learning experience. While I may not know what your current situation is, I feel I must recommend listening to your gut. If you're struggling to stay friends with your ex and feel guilty about the past, it might be best to separate for awhile. When I broke up with one of my exes years ago, we tried to stay friends. It was harder for me than him, mainly because he was trying to get back with me. In hindsight, it wasn't a good idea, but I was young and naive. Finally breaking off all ties with him was the best thing for me, as it allowed me to emotionally separate from him and allow me to slowly heal from the abuse I went through because of him.

So if you're in the relationship(friendship) due to guilt and obligation, I recommend breaking it off. While it's not impossible for exes to get along (happens all the time), there still needs to be a grieving/healing time period in which the two separate for as long as they need.

Listen to what your body is telling you when you're in contact with him. Do you feel anxious, nervous, guilty, fearful, worried, etc? Or do you feel calm, relaxed, happy, or some other positive emotions? Judging by your last sentence, it seems like you feel negative emotions when around him. This is a sign that you need time to yourself to detach from him and the guilt you carry. It's not healthy for either of you. You deserve happiness, hun. Allow yourself to have it.

Midnight Sonnet2 weeks ago @Marta Perlicka Oh wow, this was very recent. I didn't realize that. I thought this had been going on for some time. It's always rough when it's a fresh break up.

I'm glad he survived Covid. That's great news. Did you also get it?

I'm so glad you've been doing research. I always tell people to do their research on anything that interests them or that they need to know. Knowledge is power, after all.

Have you both sat down and had a long, deep conversation about how you both are feeling? Both of you need to feel comfortable in expressing yourselves around each other. Yes, you may have lashed out at him a bit too harshly when he was sick, but you clearly feel guilty about that. Mistakes happen. We're all human, after all. Since the relationship is over/put on hold, you both have an opportunity to reflect. It's okay that he's upset.

Also, you haven't lost him. You two don't have a romantic relationship anymore, but he's still around and probably still cares about you. Again, though, you both need to sit down and have a long conversation about how you're feeling. Keep it calm and civil. If one of you starts yelling or getting defensive, take a step back and breathe. I've learned through therapy and studying it that it's okay to exit the room and not return till both parties have calmed down. Arguing is inevitable in a relationship, but recognizing when things get out of hand and how to stop it is essential.

Btw, thank you for trusting me with your personal life. Normally that's not something I'd recommend to do on the internet, especially youtube, but I'm glad you felt somewhat comfortable talking to me. If you'd like, you can tell me about what you struggle with (mentally) daily and I'll try to connect the dots and help you through it.