• I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
• Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
• Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
• The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'
• If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
• It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.
• I like to have a martini,

Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.

• Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
• Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
• The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
• That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
• I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it.