12/10/14

• sober confessions; someone actually, seriously thought that i could be someone they can spend their life with; holy shit c, i never knew; i'm sorry that i never bothered to find out; arms intertwined with j; aching, numbing but reluctant to let go; c was fuming; i did not know, i thought you were done with me, i apologise anyway; "it is my dream to be written about.", "i wrote poems about, you know? yes, i did. but no, you can't read them"; good lord no, i am not in love with c; i cannot force myself to do so; i am not for you, and you are not for me; "I started to read because of you." fuck fuck fuck; highest compliment from an admirer; ah shit, have i become the person i've been writing about?; you are so so glorious december.

12/11/14

• i need to STOP romanticizing every little fucking thing he does to me; you are not his priority; you never were; please, trish; save yourself from more heartache; come on, repeat after me; "Remove anyone from your life who treats you like a second choice."; repeat, repeat, repeat; over and over and louder when he is around; you will be okay; you will be goddamn okay, i swear; you'll do better without him; promise; this is the last time i will say goodbye; this time, it's for real; goodbye j; goodbye.

12/21/14

• good morning december; misa de gallo for the first time this year; blink, darkness; blink, dawn;, blink, morning light; cold-ish, blue-ish morning; catching up and coffee; "i thought you were okay." said c; "I am now."; I'm happy. Thank you, December.