01/03/15

• cakes in a jar; distance is not a fucking obstacle; best friends will always stay; thank you p, i love you really; they like each other; guess who's going to stay away from now on; my god why did i have to honor the friend code; when a friend is in love with someone that you like too, you let the friend win; what the fuck is wrong with me; but please dearest God, help me forget my feelings for j; i'm just fooling myself right? I don't really like him, right?; please, please. "She stares at me gani. I can't handle it." says j; sorry, I won't even look from now on; help me move on; quickly, before something wonderful happens and then i fall in love again; Lord I turn to you now; help me get rid of him.

01/09/15

• 09/11/14

menthol and pain; sniggers and playful smiles; skinny ankles and rugged face; "i'm preparing for the future properly, because i can see that i have one, and i have to do things right"; with me love? or what?; waiting, waiting, just waiting; patiently waiting; patiently trusting; yes, i do; i can wait.

• 09/13/14

humid september air; slight drizzle, foggy windows; receding puddles; "free memories guys"; homecoming for those who left; old faces, new things to say; "you got thinner"; is that all you can say? bs; j, no; i'm sorry, i really am; you were never there; i am your convenience, i am a consoling being that you have been manipulating; i am sorry but i can't be those anymore; i know better now; i should have kn...

11/12/14

• no; november is full of lies and deceit; full of "i'm fine, don't worry about me"; full of "he misses you" and then seeing him happy with other people; full of "i'll be here" then leaving quickly; no, fuck you; do not make me a second choice motherfucker; go fuck with someone else.

11/19/14

• i hugged him goodbye for the last time; "is everything alright?" he asked; "i missed you." I said; goodbye. i am grieving but you must go; i know when i am not needed; i feel that you don't; please don't talk to me ever again; please don't exist.

11/25/14

• i'm lost; i think i know where i want to be, but the thing is, i don't know if im ...

08/01/14

• inches away from forever; heart pounding, nervous laughter; his cheeks on my shoulder; "let's have coffee some time", "but you're busy"; a decision to leave, to stay away, to forget; goodbye j; first concert ever; soft caress of the stage lights on our faces; silent, mobile shadows; cold streets, clean sheets; hello august.

08/02/14

• the first hello; pillow marks on his face; a seat apart; hot, calming tea; soft drumming on the roofs; cotton-candy castles and caramel teas; "are you waiting for someone?", "i was"; last goodbye.

08/03/14

• new books; belly laughs; are we okay now c?; probably pretending; goosebumps in the afternoon; k remembered something i sai...

• Greece

Anastasia will be there, and I wish to be physically present with her. I'll see you soon bub, I promise.

• Palawan

For my 18th birthday please mum and dad.

• Vigan

Nice place to take pictures.

• Camiguin

White sand beaches!

• Bluegre (SM)
• Kangaroo Coffee Co. (Tionko Avenue)
• Karlo's Coffee Station (Jack's Ridge)
• The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (SML, Abreeza and Gmall)

12/10/14

• sober confessions; someone actually, seriously thought that i could be someone they can spend their life with; holy shit c, i never knew; i'm sorry that i never bothered to find out; arms intertwined with j; aching, numbing but reluctant to let go; c was fuming; i did not know, i thought you were done with me, i apologise anyway; "it is my dream to be written about.", "i wrote poems about, you know? yes, i did. but no, you can't read them"; good lord no, i am not in love with c; i cannot force myself to do so; i am not for you, and you are not for me; "I started to read because of you." fuck fuck fuck; highest compliment from an admirer; ah shit, have i become the person i've been writing about?; you are so so glorious december.

12/11/14