08/01/14

• inches away from forever; heart pounding, nervous laughter; his cheeks on my shoulder; "let's have coffee some time", "but you're busy"; a decision to leave, to stay away, to forget; goodbye j; first concert ever; soft caress of the stage lights on our faces; silent, mobile shadows; cold streets, clean sheets; hello august.

08/02/14

• the first hello; pillow marks on his face; a seat apart; hot, calming tea; soft drumming on the roofs; cotton-candy castles and caramel teas; "are you waiting for someone?", "i was"; last goodbye.

08/03/14

• new books; belly laughs; are we okay now c?; probably pretending; goosebumps in the afternoon; k remembered something i said; sunflower tattoo; i fear monday.

08/07/14

• bite marks; bruised arms; stabbing pain in the chest; instructions for a bad day; pinkish palms; burning red skin; light on your face; j, please let's make this right; fumes in my lungs; "trish please help yourself.", "I'll try."; he'll leave me, i'm sure of that; they all will.

08/08/14

• scent of orange peels; oatmeal brownies and walnuts; moist, fidgety hands; "don't try to seduce me", "trust me i'm not"; "i can skip dinner, but I can't ever skip brunch", "*rolls eyes*"; unurtured soul; "no one will want to have babies with me anymore"; of course not k; lost things; unfound things; hot french guy i never got to meet; what a day.

08/08/14

• the giver; the name rosemary stuck in my mouth; unconscious hand holding; pig-headed twats; numb arms; clean, sharp smell of the hospital; ice-old seats; a sick man's feet moving with the rhythm of his heart; snipping scissors; hum of the blow dryer; hello 3 inches shorter.

08/09/14

• humid, drenching atmosphere; scripted hymns; notebook 2.0; fucking patriarchy shit; i need feminim; anxiety attack; i don't want to disappear today; new themes for me blogs; almosts and faulty; good songs that make you want to cry all night; j, have a good nights sleep; that's the least i could ask for you.

08/12/14

• I AM FUCKING SEETHING IN ANGER; breathe in, breathe out; instructions for bad day on repeat; "be calm"; stressing out like it's a fucking necessity; cussing 24/7; i'm sorry; he smells like toothpaste; oily, tan face; "remember what we promised?" "yes i do, i'm sorry."; i don't really want to leave you; give me courage j so I won't think about leaving again; cutie socio teacher (not sir dennis ewww) who is absolutely nice; I'M FUCKING ANGRY.

08/13/14

• "Kuya Regel peanut ka ba?", wtf tho; first day of fiesta; festive colors and scorching heat; penis jokes; airsoft H20; "you still have ill feelings?" "yes"; oh j; "you're giving me more than what i'm asking for"; ah the past; fuck the past; blue tongue; sweaty shirts and sweaty faces; "tara trish mag ma-oy ta"; k is so adorbs i wanna cry; les mis sing off; "ONE DAY MOOOOOOOORE"; you are so adorable let me kiss you; ghenson moments; like a lot of them; no j i don't think it's fair that i'm going to leave you. i'll be there, promise.; we're going to be happy; with or without him.

08/17/14

• alcohol and evening sweat; spoken word poetry over the hard drumming rain; "his opinion does not define you"; french fries breath; that which manifests is before you; neck stiff, skin tingling.

08/22/14

• i still feel the sting; i want you to disappear, and i hope you can feel it; i just cannot handle your loud, obnoxious presence and i want you out; get out r; scruffy hair and bony fingers; left-handed cutie pies; book soul sisters; this day was quite a mess.