- "He had the stamina of the Iraqi ground forces."
- "My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend, and needed him out of the house."
- "I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people. Furthermore, sleeping around with midgets is a great way to meet midgets."
- "He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her. He wrote poems for her too. He was minutes away from getting his first period."
- "I'd have had to be Hellen Keller not to have seen that one coming." (awful, but funny)
- "He was well over six feet tall, with shoulders you could balance a midget on."
- "There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
- "I'd rather take a bubble bath with my father!" [than play a nutty game of Yahtzee on a Friday night]
- "I had never slept with someone even a year younger than me and immediately felt like R.Kelly."
- "I felt a little violated and thought that after we were done I was going to be forced to make him a sandwich or something."
- "His name was Buck. It was easy to remember because it rhymed with what we were going to be doing later."
- "I thought he had potential in the game of life if he played his cards right. He definitely had potential in the game of my vagina."
- "Unless you're playing Who's Hiding the Ecstasy?, I don't think I can make it."
- "...he responded with a scream that sounded very similar to a cat getting gangbanged."
- "Though I couldn't see myself, I knew I had the same look on my face that Macaulay Culkin had in Home Alone when he finds out that his parents have forgotten him."
sep 15 2009 ∞
jan 25 2010 +
jan 25 2010 +