• "It's not a dog, it's a FUCKIN HORSE!" - R.M.
  • "You're like a real juicy worm, and i'm a hungry trout!" - Al Dendy (a.k.a. 'Swift Paddler')
  • "Stegano's Updates"
  • "dance again"
  • Christmas sock shopping with my dad
  • the 'dink master'
  • "Different strokes for different folks."
  • "I'm in Montreal and can see everything from an aerial perspective." - My Mom
  • "Hide behind a bush, get covered in black flies, then jump out and say 'Hey, do you wanna hook up?!'" - R.M.
  • "Tell him to grease up his thighs." - R.M.
    • "Why?" -Me
    • "So they don't get chaffed." - R.M.
  • "Moses meet Jesus. Jesus meet Moses." - R.M.
  • "Lick your lips and become a pedophile." - R.M.
  • "Mike World IS a pedophile!" - R.M.
  • "Men with beards tend to have red, shiny lips." - R.M.
  • "Mustaches are SO 80's." - R.M.
  • "Shaaked"/Shocked - My Mom
  • "Guys think with their penises." - R.M.
  • "He
    gives new meaning to the word 'headmaster'" - Me
  • "It depends on how tight he likes them" - Ms.Labrie
  • "I'll put the remainder in my mouth" - Me
  • "Hey look, it's our good friend ..." - Me
  • "Well I saw the real thing... not just a dick shadow!" - Dinky
  • "I'm very 'passionistic' about gym." - Mr.A
  • "Who needs math and reading when you're dead?" - Mr.A
  • "Who wants a history of this toilet?!" - 'It'
  • Uncle Wayne's Wang
  • President Bush (my mom lmfao)
  • "Maybe it will come to you in the shower, it doesn't come when you force it, it only comes naturally. I'm not talking about masturbation." - R.M.
  • [to James] "Do you like clam chowder?" - Dinky
  • The "Legend Z"
  • "I'm deprieved!" *fist slam* - Me
    • "you're deprived, huh?" - B
  • "I didn't think you guys could see me." - J.M.
  • "Control those hormones, J.M.! Control those hormones!" - J.M
  • Sleezy D's 'Suck My Dick Song' that was sent to me by a guy friend cuz my name was in it (only song with my name and it's THAT one)
  • "Here's your christmas presents. Conversation not included." - Me
  • "I border on men-tal re-tar-da-tion." - Dinky
  • 
"We'll be right back. we have to buy my mom some soap..." - Dinky
  • "So when's your Mom making that artichoke pizza?"
 - Dinky
    • "That's the least of my fucking concerns right now!" - Me
  • "If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now." - Me (quoting National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
  • 'Very Uncensored Winnie the Pooh' quotes (on YouTube)
    • "After all, my motto is: Rrrrabit sucks dicks!" - Owl
    • "Looks like he's gonna kill his mom and dad, too." - Eeyore
  • "Mr.Superman no here... no, no, I have no money." - Family Guy
  • "Skunk outside... must.close.window."
  • Tourettes Guy:
    • "Who's that faggot with the tuba?" "That's our DAD!"
    • "We're out of the butt and into the fuck!"
    • "Why don't you make like a banana, and SHIT!"
    • "Fuck salt!"
    • "Go count your dick!"
    • "You can go to Jolly Pirate Donuts and take a 2 hour SHIT for all I care!"
    • "These fishsticks are hard as tits!"
    • "I heard she's a lesbian." "that just means she likes what I like." *puts pogo in mouth*
  • B.D. 'the penetrator'
  • Ozias
  • "GIT ER DONE boys!" - Gary the cab driver
  • "It's like 'Beware of Doug' " - R.M.
    • "...Isn't his name Peter?" - Me
  • "I'm DTF!" - Superbad
  • "I'll do anything. name it. NAME IT!" - Superbad
  • "She doesn't know fuck from fuck." - R.M.
  • The Timbit drive-by
  • "My ___er!"
  • "*Dun-dun-a-nun-nun* big cunt!" - Dane Cook
  • "I don't mean to be pessimistic right now, but you're FUCKED." - Dinky
  • "Bang the boy!" [in accent] - Shawn
  • "Why don't you go out to the driveway and put some dents in cars?!" - Shawn
  • Guy @ piercing place: "Oleola" (trying to say 'areola')
  • "Oooo you're single now? what happened to Vampire Boy?" - Shawn's friends
  • "Zene Nellwigger" - W.
  • "Clitmydia" - W.
  • Dinky's mom on me not sleeping over @ someone's house:
    • "That's because she's a smart, responsible, young lady."
    • "no, she's a fuckin idiot!" - Dinky
    • "that may be true." - Dinky's mom
  • "Single Ladies Gone Wrong" video with the clown mask
  • Ask Propecia the Crack Ho video:
    • "Wash your smelly ass and balls you nappy motherfucker, you!"
    • "We'll get a fifth of liquor (?) a crack rock, and we'll smoke all god-damn night, and feel better by daybreak."
    • "We gonna be some broke bitches."
    • Q: "How do I get my husband to help around the house?" A: "you need to learn to suck some godamn dick!"
    • "I crochet."
  • "I want him to savagely penetrate my baby factory." (from 'Tainted Love' music video featurette)
  • "Look at all the tomatoes!" - R.M. (pedophiles and their professions vs. grocery store shopping)
  • "I'd turn into the hulk and rip my shirt off" (we look @ each other @ the exact same time & smile LMFAO)
  • Wolfhead
  • 'Through the Trees' song
  • "You give me such a wettie." - Jennifer's Body
  • "Oh, this is some very serious w-water damage!" - R.M.
  • "God's Experiment" (my mom singing)
  • "Bullshit." - my grandfather
  • "So help my Christ!" - my grandfather
  • "He's probably going to a Nazi's Anonymous meeting." - Me
  • "You must be physic." - E.
  • "Laugh all you want..." - R.M.
  • "Back in the dark ages..." - R.M.
  • "He talks like he's retarded." - Me
    • "That's cuz he actually IS retarded!" - Dinky
  • "He's on the verge of getting his first period" - Me (then old guy at Classic Video overheard and burst out laughing)
  • The Monster Mash Song ("The guests included Wolf Man...")
  • "I fucked her so hard she didn't know who she was."
  • quoting Tourettes Guy: "when it was finished, I said SHIT."
  • "lll" & "lmaeo"
  • "Come here and give me a hug" ;)
  • "I hope you leave enough room for my fist because i'm going to ram it in your stomach! & break your god-damn spine!" - Arnie impersonations
  • "Pluckers"
  • "Appleston Estate"
  • "Here's a tip: if a guy pulls over in a car to invite you to a party, he's really inviting you to a party in his pants." - R.M.
  • "Soo ... it's gonna be -3 tomorrow..."
  • "It's a bolt that goes through the c**k." - R.M.
  • the 'disease'
  • "Old enough to pee, old enough for me."
  • "You can't put lipstick on a dog. I mean - it's like, you can't put lipstick on a pig." - Me
  • "Smells like shit ... like BARN shit." - Erin [referring to the smell of what we were smoking in the basement]
  • "Hey, this is the road we're on right now!" [points to chocolate tin with "High Road" written on it] - Dinky
  • "I think I'll sit this one out in the safety cupboard." - Salad Fingers
  • "Sit on it, sit on it!" - R.M.
  • "Child Roulette"
  • "Hey Erin, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? 'smiley face'"
  • "If it wasn't your special night, I'd fuck your shit up"
  • "Struttin' that ass" video
  • "Who is he? Jesus? He's wrapped in swaddling clothes!" - Leslie [on naked baby wrapped in sheet in random FB photo album]
  • "Well hey, it's not my wedding" - Dinky
  • hay fever
  • "He tore up the sheets." [meaning literally, not sexually lol] - Me
  • "Is it me, or is it getting hot in here?" - Me
  • "I'm a girl of convenience." - Dinky
oct 1 2009 ∞
jul 26 2011 +