Idea stolen from Manali.

• If I were a month, I would be February
• If I were a day of the week, I would be Sunday
• If I were a time of the day, I would be right before dawn
• If I were a planet, I would be Fomalhaut
• If I were a sea animal, I would be a dolphin
• If I were a direction, I would be North
• If I were a piece of furniture, I would be an interesting clock
• If I were a sin, I would be gluttony
• If I were a historical figure, I would be Kollontai
• If I were a liquid, I would be pina colada
• If I were a stone, I would be an opal
• If I were a tree, I would be a willow tree
• If I were a bird, I would be an owl
• If I were a tool, I would be a lighter
• If I were a flower, I would be a bouquet of rice flowers (?)
• If I were a kind of weather, I would be cloudy but bright
• If I were a musical instrument, I would be a cello
• If I were an animal, I would be a monkey
• If I were a color, I would be crimson red
• If I were a vegetable, I would be bean sprouts
• If I were a sound, I would be that indistinguishable sound of someone laughing underwater
• If I were an element, I would be Magnesium
• If I were a car, I would be a bike
• If I were a song, I would be A Daily Planet by Mark Hollis, or Still by Day6
• If I were a movie, I'd be directed by Paul Thomas Andersen
• If I were a book, I'd be written by Susan Sontag
• If I were food, I would be a mango sorbet gelato
• If I were a place, I would be a tiny colourful house in Iceland
• If I were a material, I would be linen
• If I were a taste, I would be sweet and sour
• If I were a scent, I would be that intense but strangely fresh smell of coffee beans
• If I were a religion, I would be nondenominational
• If I were a word, I would be vis à vis
• If I were a an object, I would be a pencil (as boring as that sounds)
• If I were a body part, I would be an eyeball
• If I were a facial expression, I would be curious bordering on confused
• If I were a subject in school, I would be English (for every reason)
• If I were a cartoon character, I would be Ami Mizuno / Sailor Mercury
• If I were a shape, I would be a triangle
• If I were a number, I would be two