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  • I need Harry Potter like a grindylow needs water. (Hank Green)
  • Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself. (John Green)
  • I really think that reading is just as important as writing when you’re trying to be a writer, because it’s the only apprenticeship we have. It’s the only way of learning how to write a story. (John Green)
  • If I’m too old to be Emo, how do you account for the very Emo and very old Edgar Allan Poe? Checkmate! (John Green)
  • Because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff ... Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-can't-control-yourself love it. Hank, when people call people nerds, mostly what they're saying is 'you like stuff.' Which is just not a good insult at all. Like, you are just too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness. (John Green)
  • Lies are attempts to hide the truth by willfully denying facts. Fiction, on the other hand, is an attempt to reveal the truth by ignoring facts. (John Green)
  • Nerdighters make me believe in America again. (John Green)
  • Our role as humans is to recognize the complexity of others. (John Green)
  • By the way, if you’re wondering why I’m not talking about the gravitational miracle that is my hair today, it’s because when I talk about it, it gets puffier. (John Green)
  • I wanted to, you know, get my story out in the world, which, it turns out, is a very misguided notion. (John Green)
  • There are at least two distinct meanings of 'hot': there is the, like, normal human definition which is that 'this individual seems suitable for mating'. And then there's the weird, culturally constructed definition of 'hot' which means, 'that individual is malnourished and has probably had plastic bags inserted into her breasts'. Like, I think if you went back to the 18th century and asked a 15-year-old boy, 'Would you like to marry a woman who has had plastic bags needlessly inserted into her breasts?' that 15-year-old boy would probably be like ... 'What's plastic?' (John Green)
  • I like my job, of course, or at least I like it a lot more than most of the other jobs for which I am qualified (roofer, dishwasher, law school student). But I don't like my job nearly as much as I like wearing the same t-shirt for seven days straight while I attempt to set a world record for number of SportsCenters watched in a calendar week. I'm just kidding. I wouldn't really do that. I would write all the time, of course. I would move to a little house in Northeastern Alabama with a brokedown porch, and I'd sit on my porch and write in my iBook and feel the tension of Southern modernity all around me, which would be reflected brilliantly in my novels, which would sell like hotcakes and get short-listed for awards. I know what you're wondering. You're wondering how I can even fantasize about having that kind of writing life when I clearly just sandwiched two "which" clauses into one sentence. Touche, mon grammatical ami. Too. Shay. (John Green)
  • You know what ambrosia tastes like? It tastes like all the things you can't eat on Weight Watchers. Cheeseburgers, sugar cookies, regular frickin' ice cream, instead of, like, ice cream that's made out of air ... and human hope. (John Green)
  • I'm at the eye doctor. I'm always at the eye doctor. It's like this is my profession. I am no longer a writer, I'm now an optomoligical patient. By the way, this job doesn't pay well. (John Green)
  • ‘Will you marry me?’ That would make me a felon and I don’t wanna go to prison. Nerdfighters don’t win in prison. (John Green)
  • You got really angry, not because it hurt, but because you were afraid that I had messed up your braces ... which is pretty much the nerdiest response to getting punched in the mouth ever. ‘Oh my God, my orthodontics might be messed up!’ Nerds for life. (Hank Green)
  • You may be wondering why there are words on my hands. That’s because I’m a dork. And I’m gonna choose not to explain myself. (Hank Green)
  • Nerdfighter pwns woot. Everyone knows that. (John Green)
  • I Am Not A Pornographer
  • Willy, what was the one rule about you being able to watch filming? It was that you wouldn't make noise with your collar. (John Green)
aug 26 2009 ∞
apr 10 2011 +