january. college graduation plans began and instead of feeling excited i felt... nervous, anxious and empty. i feel like time is passing too fast while all i want to do is disappear, and the fact that nobody understands what i’m going through is making me hopeless. however, by talking to my family, i was able to push away some of the bad thoughts.

february. i’m a little more excited for my college prom, and i feel a little more secure knowing that my familly will be there. got my wisdom tooth removed and i remembered that pain can be physical, not just, like, mental.

march. the craving for romance in my life is just as strong―if not stronger―than it was last year. i attended to school and it felt like as if i never stopped going. red velvet made me believe in fairytales with their new mini-album the reve festival 2022.

april. went to a party and had a marvelous time. tried something different for once, but ended disappointed, making me not want to come out of my confort zone again―at least not for now. obssesed with bridgerton (tv show and books). became interested in the lore of five nights at freddy’s. the beginning of my spirituality era with three simple crystals.

may. had a healing trip to the beach along with my family, where i was able to feel the sand beneath my feet and listen to the fierce waves of the lunar eclipse. i feel so much better about myself, my mind is calm and devoid of the noise that tormented me before.

june. the hyperfixation of the month is... streamers―i know how it sounds, but it’s the only thing right now that makes the day much bearable. still trying something new in terms of my romantic life. kowing that i’ll be traveling to various places the next month makes me genuinely happy.

july. i think that this has been the most exciting summer i’ve ever had in a couple of years. i got to travel to different places and to experiment different emotions besides just... contentment. i am happy and excited for another semester at university.

august. so far it’s been a wild ride. i went to the beach with my friends, traveling without my family for the first time in my life and it was a lot of emotions that i had to process even when it was all over. i began going to school and it hasn’t been so bad―i’m actually enjoying it.

september. i’ve been doing really well academically, it’s almost a miracle. i really think that the burnout is fading away, it’s taking its time, but it’s finally happening.

october. graduation pictures where taken and it was the most lost i have felt lately. i thought i’ve been betrayed, but i learned to trust my instinct and my mind to search for answers in the middle of the fog.

november. i’m learning how to be on my own and to be lonely. my french poodle, who has been with me for more than ten years, passed away. my heart is broken, but at least he’s in peace now.

december. my prom finally happened and it... was nice. very nice, even though i still feel like i didin’t deserve to have such a good time because there’s still some things that i have to do. i had a really good time during christmas with my family. i’m a little afraid of what 2023 will bring, but excited nonetheless.