———— march

• 05. i got sick... pretty ugly. for two days (and a half) my throat was swollen and, therefore, i was feeling horrible. it had been a long time since i had gotten sick like that and thank god it only lasted two days because, if the time of the illness had been extended longer, i probably would have gone crazy. it hurt me to have had to miss the gym but, between my delusions, at least i couldn’t pay attention to it. 17. i’m starting to meet more people! it also struck me that there are people in the gym who think i’m nineteen or twenty. 22. i know the situation is bad when i start crying while doing makeup, i don’t like how my clothes fit and i feel like everyone is against me... i’m trying to see the bright side of things but i've had some bad moments lately. 23. i’ve been hanging out with my friends more, and i’ve had a great time! it’s been a rough few days for me, but at least i have a place to go to distract myself.

———— february

• 07. i’ve been in the gym for a month and the truth is that i’ve been enjoying it a lot. it’s my happy time of the day when i can focus on more than just my own existence. 14. i was really excited for valentine’s day but i ended up being very anxious. 17. i was finally given news of my internships, however, there was a problem with one of the two internships... i am doing everything possible so that, finally, this whole process with which i have been, literally, occupied with for years.

———— january

• 07. i did what i have wanted to do for months: i entered the gym, marking the beginning of my journey to take better care of my body. the opportunity was given to me and i took it and, best of all, i am not forced to go alone. 20. i’ve been thinking a lot about the second generation of k-pop and how different it is compared to k-pop now. it was in the second generation where i discovered this genre, so i have it very close to my heart, especially girls’ generation. 31. i completed four weeks in the gym, and i feel very happy with it. it feels really nice to do something productive and eat all three meals a day.