• The guilt tripper.

Probably one of the worst. Its all "Oh its my birthday so I want everyone to come out and do such and such" (And spend £40 on a pointless activity they don't want to participate in) and "But its MY day so I was hoping..." No-one cares as much as you. Go out with yourself.

• The bashful pretender.

Another annoying one. They're all like "I'm fiiine, its just a birthday", "Honestly, dont worry about it, its just another day" and "Oh you shouldn't have". Just stop it. We know you love it.

• The hoper.

A difficult one. They say nothing... but, they expect everyone to remember. (God help you if you dont). They expect presents and a miraculous birthday cake to appear out of nowhere as though everyone knew if was their birthday. We didnt. Bake for yourself if you're not gonna tell us.

• The subtle-ist.

Sly. These guys don't say much either. It just seems that conversations held around them start to revolve around starsigns, brothers and sisters, parties you had as children... you get the idea. Anyway, what they want is for you to ask when their birthday is. Definitely. No matter what. Do not ask. If they dont tell you, they don't deserve a bloody present.

• The foghorn.

Outright irritating. Anyone heard? "Its [insert name]'s birthday today. Yepp.... that's ME. And iiii'm gonna be celebrating on Friday in The Crown" and "Guess who's FORTYYYYYYY tomorrow". Wish yourself Happy Birthday. We dont give a flying duck.

• The Elitest.

All out hilarity. Everybody will know when an Elitest has a birthday... it's all around work/school/Facebook at least two months before with a MASSIVE advert about the party they intend to hold. Elitests will often come out with some such sentence like "Oh yes, I am going to celebrate my birthday, its going to be huge, and of course... its invitation only". You and your four cronies are the only people that care. The rest of your guests will be there for the free bar. And the 'gorgeous' stripper your best mate hired is my Uncle.

• The denier

In need of a slap? These guys will go out of their way to avoid discussions a subtle-ist would deliberately partake in. Dear Denier... No-one actually doesn't have a birthday. And we can all remember our age. I know you're already doing everything you can to avoid it, but, grow up.

• The hater

A combi. "I don't like birthdays and I dont want anything. Thanks" and "Not really doing anything, please don't surprise me" along with "Nahh i'm alright thanks. A drink down the pub is enough" Or so they think. Haters always end up destroying their own birthday before it even began by 'dissing' every suggestion. You deserve a fuss & presents and the fact that you're stating you dont want a party or any fuss... well... thats an open invitation.

My inspiration for this list came from the fact that I personally am not fond on birthdays due to, mainly, guilt-trippers and foghorns. And after hearing THREE people at work today organising their own birthday meals in three different ways (of the above) it got me thinking on how annoying birthdays actually are. But not because birthdays are annoying... Just because people are annoying when they have a birthday.