• "Where do you want me to put it?" Customer

"In the bottom. Yeah, thats the one"

• "I'll meet you in the lobby"
• "You were just eating the fat"
• "Sorry, just a minute. I dont even know where my own buttons are"

• Verity Butler
  • I like:
    • That we don't have to do stuff, just chilling is cool
    • That we can pretty much tell each other anything
    • That you support my Gaga addiction
    • That you tolerate me in every persona i have
    • That you cook for me (and eat my food)
    • That you'll come to IKEA with me
• Jake Aubertin
  • I like:
    • That no matter what, it always end in a hug and laughter
    • That we share stories about customers. TeeHee.

• The Offspring - The Kids Aren't Alright
• Avril Lavigne - Complicated
• Avenged Sevenfold - A Little Piece of Heaven

• i am slightly eccentric
• i like people and most people like me
• i don't follow sport unless it involves ENGLAND
• i have an elite - they rock
• i'm just like everyone else, individual but the same
• i love my car, as old and battered as it is
• i laugh. lots.
• i hate loosing my phone
• i like alcohol
• i work in a pub named after a pig breed

• Hannibal
• Black Hawk Down
• Fight Club
• The Hills Have Eyes
• Snatch
• The Sound of Music
• Spiderman
• Batman
• Shutter Island
• Sweeney Todd
• Me, Myself & Irene
• 50 First Dates
• Night at the Museum
• The Sixth Sense
• Moulin Rouge
• Labyrinth
• SATC

• The guilt tripper.

Probably one of the worst. Its all "Oh its my birthday so I want everyone to come out and do such and such" (And spend £40 on a pointless activity they don't want to participate in) and "But its MY day so I was hoping..." No-one cares as much as you. Go out with yourself.

• The bashful pretender.

Another annoying one. They're all like "I'm fiiine, its just a birthday", "Honestly, dont worry about it, its just another day" and "Oh you shouldn't have". Just stop it. We know you love it.

• The hoper.

A difficult one. They say nothing... but, they expect everyone to remember. (God help you if you dont). They expect presents and a miraculous birthday cake to appea...

• wake the house & verity up

- if she's here

• make a cup of tea

- while hating the state of my head & laugh at ourselves in the mirror due to the state of it

• review the photos

- and wonder how we a) got so drunk b) took so many photos with randomers we dont know c) managed to stay upright

• laugh a lot

- at ridiculous things like handflicking & saying wick

• say the stupidest of things

- like "well, i know where it is, but if its not there then i dont know where it is"

• I got my favourite dog called Till-Till. She's technically my Mummy's but i love her more than anyone else so i like to call her mine!
• I also got Sassy-gewl my little kitten cat (named after Saskia from BB) She's black with a little white bit under her chin.
• Gots a horsey. It's my Mummys.
• I got Shaun, my little snake. He was born on 19.7.10 and hes so awesomely cute. :) <3
• I had two hamsters, called Robert and Treacle but they were too much for me to handle and Jemma adopted them!

• When people get confused in the restaurant about starter and mains cutlery. COME ON GUYS.
• A man at the pub ALWAYS comes in, discusses the beers and then ponders over what he wants, when we BOTH know he's going to have a MAD GOOSE. Haha.
• Cheer, then realise it wasnt ACTUALLY a goal, so try to cover it up during a football/rugby match
• Drive and see someone fit, then almost crash

"Sam doesnt do drinking mildly, she either doesnt drink or she drinks shit loads"

"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats" Elton John

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

"What are you doing?? Having a good time"

"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it"

"I had an epiphany in the shower"... "Sam, you ALWAYS have epiphanies in the shower"... "Well, what better place?"

"Oooop. Assistant Manager" *Looks at Verity* "What the fuck, did you just say that as well?"

"Im surprised we didn't come in yesterday as well to be honest"

"Ooh. Barefoot"

• Zoe L Courtney-Smythe
• Victoria S Courtney-Smythe
• Timberly J Courtney-Smythe
• Jemma A Eagle
• Jenny A Eagle
• Chris E Webb
• David L McConaghy
• Jamie L Wyke
• Lee D Pillar

• Chocolat, Blackberry Wine - Joanne Harris
• Ralph's Party - Lisa Jewell
• Crazy in Love - Chrissy Manby
• Night World Series - L.J. Smith
• Twilight Saga - Stephenie Meyer
• Harry Potter - J.K. Rowling
• The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
• The God of Small Things - Arundhati Roy
• The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins
• Farewell to the East End - Jennifer Worth
• The Girl on the Landing - Paul Torday
• Starting Over - Tony Parsons

Suggestions?

• If you pretend for long enough, everything becomes reality
• There are different rules for everyone, and it wont change
• If you want anything done properly in life - do it yourself
• The only person you can trust is yourself
• Friends aren't for life
• If you are happy with your own company, that is all you will ever need
• Do what you wanna do, you're not here for anyone elses sake
• Money has no value, unless you have none
• If you act uncaring, no-one cares back
• Expect nothing, expect no disappointment

• I like to bite people
• I have a twin sister
• I wish i was a vampire
• I like tickles
• I am scared of drowning
• I feel uncomfortable in large groups of people
• I collect clocks
• I like metal music & i love A7X
• I dont like blondes
• I like girls, not just boys.
• Live in France, and become fluent in French
• See Avenged Sevenfold
• Finish the book i'm writing
• Get a nose job
• Hold a dinner party with a murder-mystery theme
• Own an Aston Martin
• Scuba-Dive
• Knock that bitch out

• Verity Butler
  • I dislike:
    • That you talk too much when IIII want to talk too much
    • That you moan a lot about self inflicted paineries
    • That you spent too much effing time in Devon
    • That you don't support my drinking habit enough
• Jake Aubertin
  • I dislike:
    • That you nick food and deny it
    • That you sleep too much when i'm excited and want to WAKE UP
    • That you fall for the wrong ones
    • That you're not easily persuaded

• Sam - because its my name
• SammyLou - because we all have a bit of hick in us
• Loucifer - because i am devillish en temps de temps
• Lumos - because Lee is obsessed with words
• Spam - because my Mummy did it
• Slou - because Tor was lazy and refused to use SammyLou
• Sharon - because occasionally, im her
• Silktem - because its my online alias

Facebook has seen my name change over the years:

• Samantha Louise Key
• Samantha Silktem Louise
• Olivia Courtney-Smythe
• Samantha Courtney-Smythe
• Samantha Littlesprout

• blonde hair just like my sister with a cowlick
• a forehead that's a little bit too big for my liking
• eyebrows that i darken and pluck
• blue eyes with a black bit in the middle
• a nose that could be straighter
• lips that i like to paint red or pink
• fivefootfourandahalf - i like the half
• ninestoneten - i dont like the ten
• shoe size six (or seven sometimes)

• ✔ France
• ✔ Belgium
• ✔ Cyprus
• ✔ Scotland
• ✔ Korfu
• ✔ Spain
• ✔ Mallorca
• ✔ Ireland
• South America - Brazil
• France
• Belgium
• Wales
• South Africa
• Cuba