I've been feeling a little sad at night to be honest

• Breathing is hard. My lungs feel like a diver, wanting to reach the surface. But there's something down. It pulls it down.
• I want to eat. And eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Then vomit...and keep eating. Eating everything. Myself. The sadness. The tears. The night.
• I hear. I don't want to. I see. I don't know what I'm seeing.
• There's no hope. There's no one. Nothing. All is gone and nothing remains.
• I try to remember. Things I like, things I want. But I can't. The mind is... just there's nothing clear there. Like a room filled with objects that I can't see clearly. I'ts all cloudy.
• Ah... I wish I was dead. gone. sleepy. unconscious. the loneliness itself.
• I don't know why I feel so sad at night. It just comes like a wave. Big. Strong. Powerful. Even if I run, It caughts me. Haunts me.
• How much this will last? Is me, or that I messed my medication again? Why are things like this? Why can't I do things? I can't get up. Why. I can't shake the obsessive thoughts, that empy feel... why.
• I breath. I think. I am. I am. I am...
• And I cried. Till the day was gone and I was gone.