— things that keep me sane

• arts, aesthetics, literature and music
• anything japanese— music, anime, manga, food, etc.
• to-dos and planning things (and actually accomplishing them)
• literally, my daily meds

— people

• who likes the same interests
• open-minded individuals
• who are considerate and caring

— others

• cats and animals, in general

• friday night rest/unwind time
• sleeping
• funny memes
• being with family
• getting those thoughts perfectly composed into words
• having my alone time
• eating good food, trying out drinks
• when someone remembers me through a song, a quote or whatever
• faster commute time
• knowing that i have savings no matter how small it is
• checking an item in a list
• quiet day-off mornings with a cup of hot chocy
• wearing my favourite pieces of clothing (and not end up looking like shit)
• having milktea breaks
• cold weather
• doing random unusual stuff

• serendipitous meetings
• knowing what the other person is thinking without the need for him to say it
• mutual feelings in a certain situation without the both of you knowing this at that time
• saying liberated/vulgar things without the need to say sorry to your friend
• getting what you exactly wished for
• planning things and perfectly accomplishing them the way that you want them to happen

— little accomplishments

• endured impacted tooth operation 01
• endured impacted tooth operation 02 (which is a bit painful compared to the first)
• joined a mini-drawing contest in school
• graduated cum laude
• matured, a bit. (but still childish in a lot of ways)
• passed that freakin hard pre-employment exam.
• won a thousand bucks from that open house drawing contest. not bad
• not a bum anymore
• passed jlpt N4
• got hired as a a civil servant (not a nepo-baby + 0 backers is something i think i should be proud of)
• joined an amateur art exhibit at work

— don't like

• attending parties and team buildings
• public speaking
• waking up early
• being surrounded by a lot of people
• application forms
• sunny weather after a rain scent
• rainy weather while outdoor
• waiting for a long response regarding something urgent
• telephone calls
• wearing girly clothes when not in the mood
• discontinued plans
• dishonesty
• long queues

— people

• disrespectful people (esp those whose respect are based only on social/economic status of a person)

• altruism
• the struggle with saying "NO" without the guilty feeling
• a huge weight-gain when i reached 34 and i keep on getting fatter every month
• my poor social skills
• the habit of baby-talking (the purpose is not to look cute but it is sort of a result from either being comfortable or extremely shy/embarrassed)
• treating non-living things as if they are alive and have the ability to feel pain
• laziness to do chores; i would love to cook everyday but i hate washing dishes
• accepting the bare minimum from people
• not pursuing my nihongo studies after jlpt (and now i find it difficult to continue but i'm trying my best to self-study)
• staying in a mediocre career for years
• being shy and conscious in photos that i always end up looking stupid

• While I, as a normal person, has my own material wishlist, I realized that I don't really care much about luxuries
  • I prefer cheap or mid-priced things than expensive, branded ones
  • If there's no pressure to look better for my partner, I won't probably buy clothes bec it was never a priority. I would wish to keep only a few good clothes than collect a lot
  • I prefer splurging on food
• I love my bed, being in bed and being unconscious. I wish I can do a lot of things to unwind but I always end up sleeping.
• This age makes me feel more depressed as I worry about parents' and loved ones' health. A lot of people my age are dealing with loss and the fear of the inevitable death has been bothering me almost everyday