- feeling like the main character during my function. tbh when i first 'came of age' i thought i was dying or something
- when we visited you and i washed my hair you said i had no strength in my arms after seeing the stubborn dirt in it and the way it didn’t separate out into its usual frizzy mess. back then i was angry, why couldn't anyone see that i was strong? it's because i was weak, i still am. and i know you're in a better place right now but sometimes i think please can you come back, please can you wash my hair
- within like a week or two of being in middle school it felt like the group i'd eaten lunch with and played games with for the past two years didn't want me anymore - rough start
- so many people were so nice in my math class, somehow i don't remember talking to them but we're still friends!! that's where i found some of my closest friends
- running from pe to core because someone used perfume in the locker room and the teacher wouldn't let us leave until they confessed. i don't know if they confessed but my friends and i were so worried that we'd be marked late but the teacher... understood?
- the cow eyeball!!! as much as i wanted to be different and a woman in STEM i still let my partner do most of the dissecting, mainly because i didn't want to have to.. work with him.. but also a little because i was squeamish
- wow the 8th graders are so tall and large and strong and cool, will i be like them one day?
- started private viola lessons. the improvement was so fast oh my goodness, went from barely being able to play to being able to sightread by the end of the year?? i was so proud of myself </3
- got my first viola too (i still use the same one) it was humongous for me back then but i've grown into it
- don't rly wanna mention but had a major fight (??) with l for no reason at all (okay a tiny tiny bit of reason) a lot of it was my fault and i realize that i guilt tripped so much i feel so bad now
- reading ahead in the outsiders and my teacher grabbed the book from in front of my face and made me write an essay as punishment
- this boy gave me a tiny stuffed koala thing. i still have it :)
- got 2nd chair in orch in 7th grade :D i was in a higher seat than a lot of eighth graders and i didn't realize it then but i tried a lot harder than a lot of them and it paid off!! made a lot of 8th grade friends but didn't really make actual relationships w them until high school
- said something about me being better or something in orchestra and somehow the entire orch heard it and everyone laughed and i blushed and the teacher was like 'oh shes BLUSHING!!!' god i don't think i ever blushed again but that was funny
- j left to korea </3 loved her so much, still do, i remember sobbing with my other friends wondering how we would go on without her and wondering how the teacher wandering around thought it was helpful at all to say she liked kbbq
- went to the 8th grade graduation, don't remember much except it was very hot.
- i changed so much the summer before 8th grade. i just remember there being such a stark contrast. 8th grade me is so much closer to the me i am now, but 7th grade me is like child me. what happened that summer?
- i saw you only a few weeks before you left us. i still can't believe you're gone. i shed so many tears when i heard the news but that apparently wasn't the end of it, whenever i think of you i want to cry . i love you so much
- the sound of my mother crying is a sound i never want to hear again and every time i hear a sound close to that some response is activated within me, my heart jumps into my throat
- that summer we were all in india at the same time but we didn't see each other, weird
- went to the mall in india with my aunt and acted like a total brat i'm sorry but also got the cutest teddy bear in existence, i named it kiki :)
- legit the worst part of middle school was the first-ish parts of 8th grade, a left and c left. a hurt us so bad, still haven't recovered from that haha
- but then it started to get a lot better, our group of 4 went strong + had so much fun
- DISNEY!!! i remember screaming super loud on space mountain and eating a warm churro and riding splash mountain so many times because the line was short and eating kids meals and ice cream and losing my ring and having the time of my life at the recording session and losing my hopper pass and making my group run around for beignets and going in 'its a small world' and the incredicoaster and the elevator ride that made my bag levitate and taking so many pictures and eating junk food late at night in the hotel room
- great america with our group of 4.... i think by the end of middle school i didn't think of them as friends as much as literal sisters because it surprised me how easy it was to be mad at them and how easy it was to love them ... yeah i miss us
- standing in the super long line for the roller coaster that dropped at 90 degrees (railblazer? maybe?) with l heheh that was so fun
- going on that one water ride like 4 times because it was so mf hot
- the water park was closed LMFAO but we still went on this one water ride WITH SHOES ON ???
- getting splashed and not even noticing that it literally said splash zone,,, my converse were wet for the rest of the day
- sharing food like we did at disney to save money yep yep
- sleepovers w s and c,,,
- the one where c and i slept on the bed and s slept on the ground and only his head poked out so i said he looked like a disembodied potato and the name stuck LMAO
- i remember c kept stealing the blanket and rolling around everywhere and then in the morning s told me that i curled up into a ball when i was sleeping ;;-;;
- the one where we all brought our instruments for a jam session but we didn't rly jam just did random stuff until an abnormally late time to be playing instruments. c hit me in the face with my phone and s saying something and i forgot what exactly it was but something about me having a sad life or smth KGLJWESDM idk. it was near this time i think that we got closer to s and he like semi opened up to us???
- they kinda all mashed together but we did a lot.. like i remember at one we were watching 'to all the boys i've loved before' and we wanted to watch it w/o the younger kids so we kinda did it secretly and after they fell asleep we went to the living room and talked some more
- i can't remember exactly which sleepover but s and i couldn't sleep and at like 3am we realized somehow that both of us were still awake (we tried to wake up c but she was sound asleep rip) so we talked a lot until we were able to sleep... it was interesting to learn about him yk bec we weren't that close before yet i'd known him all my life. there was also playing w each others hands involved. i think it was a real good best friend moment
- making videos to our future selves </3
- it's so weird that the people i'm close with in high school weren't the people i'd expected to become that close with? that sounds mean asf. like, in the moment, i didn't think knowing them would mean much in high school? i didn't really think i would end up talking to those people in classes, let alone out of classes. i think i underestimated the amount that people change, especially the amount that i changed
- our lil friend group though, it hasn't changed much? the stuff we talk about has changed, obv, but the dynamic hasn't changed.
- like?? it's so weird?? the dynamic between d and i used to be awkward asf?? i didn't know him at all and i barely talked to him and i was probably intimidated by him. but now .. i'm comfy around him and literally making fun of him and he's comfy taking care of me and making fun of me and ??? who thought that would have happened looking at us barely acknowledging each other in middle school
nov 22 2021 ∞
feb 22 2022 +