• Walter Duranty Award for Good and Definitely Truthful Journalism
• Eugen Fischer Prize for First Doing No Harm
  • runner up: Dr. Mehmed Reshid
  • second runner up: Dr. Walter Freeman
  • third runner up: Senator Dr. Rand Paul, who cast the lone vote against coronavirus emergency funding days before being diagnosed with it himself, is ultra concerned about getting drone attacked in a bar or restaurant, but still eating from the communal jar of congressional jellybeans
• Jared Kushner Endowed^ Chair in Successful Management of a Big Boy Portfolio

^check has not yet cleared

I love this list because even if I never accomplish anything positive in my life I can still aspire to break even and go to the Medium Place.