• crypto is astrology for straight men
  • crypto is mary kay for young men
• astrology is queer sports
• sports is just gossip for men
• Harbor Freight is Target for men

(thanks to Sam & Chris & Maura's coworker for their contributions to this list)

Things that are just Gossip in formalwear

• The news
• History
• Sports
• Literature, originally
• Religion
• The judicial system