bureaucracy

• please, get help. don't try to do these by yourself. call a friend or neighbour, anyone you trust (it's preferable someone who has been through the death of a close one n who knows the procedures, but anyone who is kind to you will do. you will need support, trust me.) doing these by yourself is draining as hell and your rational brain won't be working well. get someone to help you.
• check w hospital staff for the death certificate
• recognize the body
• call a mortuary
• gather all the necessary documents that they require
  • usually: the yellow death certificate, the insurance or social security number, id registry, driver's licence, birth/marriage/divorce certificate, & residential certificate.

websites

• sp funerary procedures

coping

• funerary agencies can be disgusting to deal with, so it's always better to have a membership or smt that you can call quickly and get things over with.
• the first day can be overwhelming and/or shocking, so respect your feelings. don't force yourself to cry if you can't, and cry whenever you feel the need to. it took me a whole week to sink in.
• people will try to comfort you, but it's impossible to. a well-meaning "i'm sorry for your loss" is good enough.
• distraction is good, but mourning is so important too; talk to coworkers, your boss, wtv, to let you recover.
• religion can be very comforting during these times.
• you won't feel hunger, so eat enough to keep the blood working. take-out is fine. eat what you're used to eating, but eat well. fruits, veggies, n carbs are your best friends. don't forget water!!
• the first week is very heavy too. you'll feel weak, dizzy, airheaded... it will take a while for life to get back to you, so having support will keep you grounded.

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”