self-love must be unconditional.

• i hate my voice ⠀￫⠀ i speak from the back of my throat.
• i hate my body ⠀￫⠀ i do callisthenics.
• i hate my height ⠀￫⠀ i walk with my chest & let my spine rest on my hips.
• i hate my hair ⠀￫⠀ i straighten my bangs before going to bed.
• i hate my nails ⠀￫⠀ i no longer keep touching my face.
• i hate my indecisiveness ⠀￫⠀ i live without regret.
• i hate my lack of self-esteem ⠀￫⠀ i have unlimited potential.
• i hate the way i was neglected as a child ⠀￫⠀ i have revised my past & avenged my inner child.
• i hate my debilitating adhd & executive dysfunction ⠀￫⠀ i must go to a neurologist & take my fucking meds.
• i hate how long i take to notice how traumatic some events were to me ⠀￫⠀ better late than never.
• i hate my current self. ⠀￫⠀ the rage boiling my blood will save me.

teaching practices

• active learning methodologies
• adapting your teaching strategies to stu...
• activity, exercise & task
• inductive & deductive learning
• meaning, form & use

grammar/pronunciation

• english for academical purposes
• english stackexchange
• grammar bank
• guide to abbreviations
• ipa vowel chart w/ audio
• prefixes & sufixes list
• to practice grammar
• how to pronounce

class planning

• add questions to videos
• create flowcharts & mindmaps
• database for movies/tv series/etc

• the most important ⠀surrender, self-hate immunity

• currently using ⠀overachiever, academic comeback, full marks on tests, outclassed, trinity

• good ones ⠀brainfog, mania & focus, adhd relief, heal inner child, serenity, black lotus, ideal life, auto-pilot studying, lower cortisol, calm life,

• channels ⠀metalic-ice﹐precious fang﹐thoreau﹐vesuvias﹐baejin cafe﹐kapelsu﹐slade﹐soyoung﹐heavensent

• ⬚⠀die early and often: being attis in the anthropocene, by john halstead
• ⬚⠀the structure of scientific revolutions, by thomas kuhn
• ⬚⠀meditações, by marcus aurelius — w gf ♥ & friends
• ⬚⠀the myth of sisyphus, by albert camus
• ⬚⠀the stranger, by albert camus
• ⬚⠀o alquimista, by paulo coelho
• ⬚⠀veronika decide morrer, by paulo coelho
• ⬚⠀the kybalion: a study of the hermetic philosophy of ancient egypt and greece, by three initiates
• ⬚⠀the secrets of alchemy, by lawrence m. principe
• ⬚⠀the denial of death, by ernest becker
• ⬚⠀thus spoke zarathustra, by friedrich nietzsche
• ⬚⠀caliban e a bruxa, by silvia federici
• ⬚⠀capital as power, by jonathan nitzan & shimshon bichler

• to improve
  • ⬚⠀head shape
  • ⬚⠀ears!!
  • ✓⠀eye size
  • ⬚⠀body proportion
  • ⬚⠀body language / poses
  • ⬚⠀facial expressions
  • ✓⠀colour
  • ✓⠀painting style
  • ✓⠀speed
  • ⬚⠀hands & thumbs

⸻⠀ what kind of art do i like to see?

• common body proportions
• dynamic & expressive body language
• super expressive expressions (can be exaggerated)
• subtle imperfections & colour variation
• subtle textures & indicators of realism

⸻⠀ goals

• ⬚⠀finish that short story about the jungian quote
• ⬚⠀finish that fanfic 1st draft (3/5)
• ⬚⠀read...
  • ⤷ ⬚⠀ the odyssey, by homer
  • ⤷ ⬚⠀ the illiad, by homer
  • ⤷ ⬚⠀ this is how you lose the time war, by amal el-mohtar & max gladstone
  • ⤷ ✓⠀ time loop narratives are about love, by katy
  • ⤷ ⬚⠀ how american culture ate the world, by dexter fergie
• ⬚⠀transfer notion writing notes to obsidian
• ⬚⠀watch a documentary abt ivan illich, descartes and rousseau
• ⬚⠀write the 15 letters
• ⬚⠀donate my good clothes to a thrift store & thrift some pants
• ⬚⠀clean dad's backpack
• ⬚⠀change my documents

• 25.08.13 (1h22min) ⠀ did 1/6 of my task list. documented my adhd struggles. got so frustrated w myself.

• 25.08.21 (6h38min) ⠀ finished writing 1 paper. left the other half-baked. there's 3 more to go + 2 reports from my research project program.

• 25.08.22 (4h18min) ⠀ finished the half-baked paper & 1 report from my research project. emailed the papers to my teachers.

• 25.08.25 (3h55min) ⠀ finished 90% of the didactic unit & sent it to my teacher. my wrist hurts. i'm still missing 1 report from my research project & the other two report papers.

i've hit rock bottom. may god have mercy on my soul.

• 25.06.29 ⠀ i have a wonderful life, i have a powerful job. i haven't felt stressed out in ages. my coworkers are literal blessings. my hands & fingers are healed.

• 25.07.06 ⠀ things are going steady & smoothly. i've organized myself & scheduled all my medical appointments. i got a good grade in my exam & i've been dedicating a lot of time studying for these last months in university.

sort of diary about the events that unfold in my paracosm, because now i want to keep track of what's going on & how the history of this world unfolds & shapes my heart. this world is a coping mechanism i developed in my 11-12s n i have no intention on treating it like an unhealthy symptom. i treat my headmates as friends.

• 24.11.16 ⠀ dell got anxious for being left alone at the rocky-valley island n followed us (idk how, coz we travelled by ship.) he fought w dana n i to take part in the 'wintery-land' expedition. i let him stay as long as he stops trying to talk over me. we set camp for the meantime.

• 24.11.30 ⠀ i got overwhelmed by smth i can't recall n ran away to the woods. i took off my coat n boots n lashed out at a tree. later, dell found me sobbing near a cabin....

• regicida, adj. kingslayer, regicide.
• onírico, adj. dreamlike, oneiric.

• ambience:⠀moodist﹐tearoom﹐apothecary﹐firewood﹐horse stables
• animal crossing:⠀marshall's café﹐dog office
• study with me:⠀2h irl﹐2h lo-fi﹐
• to hype up:⠀zzz theme﹐zzz theme 15﹐zzz gacha﹐intermission﹐hydrogen﹐nighthawk
• soundtracks:⠀nitw﹐p5 jazz mix﹐café leblanc mix﹐succession suite
• playlists:⠀a quiet moment alone﹐it's going to be okay﹐midnight aura﹐that 2 am fresh air﹐i still miss you﹐lovers﹐love letters﹐studying﹐romanticizing studying﹐mathematics﹐trust me
• background music:⠀it's brazil babyy﹐escape from reality﹐in space
• other sounds:⠀tales of the night forest﹐medieval hardcore party mix﹐woodlands
• channels:⠀thermosento

• diet
  • breakfast: bread w/ cheese, curd, tomatoes, & an espresso shot
  • elevenses: fruit, yogurt, whey
  • lunch: brazilian prato feito
  • afternoon tea: bread w/ banana & peanut butter
  • dinner: brazilian prato feito
  • supper: banana smoothie w/ hypercaloric mix

• enem sᴀᴛ:⠀08am – 10am
  • monday: essay
  • tuesday: languages
  • wednesday: human sciences
  • thursday: essay
  • friday: math / nature sciences
  • saturday: mock test & relevant topics

• aniwave
• thesaurus﹐etymonline﹐articles
• eat this much﹐rua﹐adhd help
• pdf converter﹐mybib

• autumn equinox ⠀march 20, midday
• winter solstice ⠀⠀ june 21, midnight
• spring equinox ⠀⠀september 22, 10 pm
• summer solstice ⠀december 21, 7 pm

• soul & guts
• physical balance
• vocal tract
• scream
• laugh
• reactive response
• posture
• idle stance
• way of walking
• muscle mass
• clothes
• love & heart
• emotional response

• to be someone's favourite person.
• to be reliable.
• to be the 1st choice.
• to be admired.
• to be a good teacher.
• to be satisfied w my appearance.
• to have personal style.
• to have a trademark.
• to be compared to an older brother/father.
• to live without regrets.
• to have a calm & comfortable life.