• I am always thinking
• I worry a lot
• sometimes I think that everyone is insane for not missing my grandmother as much as I do
• love, my love was a lie
• I say things I don't mean ...kind things
• I bite my nails
• I bite my lip a lot
• I hate that everything is a sexual indeundo
• I want that boy in my bed
• I want to stay a virgin forever
• I've considered being a nun
• I have learned
• I have learned from my past relationship
• I honestly feel like crying
• I cannot pinpoint the tears and I dont want to go back on minor meds
• Excerise is a battle
• I am worthless when I dont want to be and...

• He can dance
• dirty dancing- enough said
• He looks like he's posing for a vd ad
• his hair is kickin ass
• If someone told him to dance he'd jump up so fast and shake that booty
• His shirt suggests that perhaps we caught him in the middle of a workout
• Is he wearing shoes, I dont know either?
• Look at this rippling muscles...what an inspiration
• The Greeks would have sculpted patrick 20 times and set his marble sculpture throughout every temple
• In fact I think they would have made him a God called Dancerius
• The gray background reminds me of the layout at school photo day
• He is so serious yet trying so hard to be seductive
• He is 80's for sure

• waiting around for her to clean her room
• looking at random shit on myspace
• singing along to lovely feathers really loud with my buddy
• being productive together, i do homework and you clean
• telling me i cant do anything till i finish my studies
• roadrunner at her house so I dont have to worry about them missing a highly important phonecall
• room decorations and knowing the story behind some stuff
• random pics of us, especially the beach one! i like that one alottt
• talking about weird noises in lovely feather songs
• grubbing out with grilled cheese and pickles
• being recorded by her mom and not knowing, but will appreciate the memory for sure...

• fuck him
• fuck him
• fuck him
• I hate that he has this fucked up way of getting on my nerves
• when i start to feel better he just decides to not care and step on it all with his fucking fat foot
• I cant figure out how to just rid him of my life
• I WANT TO!
• I want to just not care, genuinely NOT CARE
• i cry, i really sadly enough cry and its fucking stupid, i hate to cry
• i hate knowing he has an effect on me
• i should have just not even messed around in the first place and quit it all together
• oh god this makes me want to puke on his face and make him eat it

• morrissey-moon river
• morrissey-jack the ripper
• metric-too little too late
• metric- hustle rose
• gisella numba one- the swedish

• Living on my own and missing my family
• Not knowing where anything is
• Discovering cool places to eat
• Making new friends with new views
• Being introduced to so many more bands
• Finding a great guy to share some time with and have a good conversation
• Finding a new church
• Creating a chill spot for myself
• Going to the top of the tallest building so i can see the whole city
• driving hours and hours home and thinking about my life
• getting mail from friends
• coming home and able to share my experiences
• doing well at school with no lame distractions
• walking around and discovering little things
• hearing my parents say "we're proud of yo...

• the squinting eyes
• the confused state of mind
• eyelash motion
• moving the head
• parking the car
• putting the key in the door
• quiet when you walk
• try not to be weird
• dont talk
• dont make noise
• just go upstairs
• stare at that picture
• tear einstein off the wall
• hear noise
• hear the lovely feathers

• seeing sacha
• seeing tess
• seeing veronica
• seeing ricki's ex-b/f
• seeing the evil mail man
• talking to Sam
• Leah
• seeing selena

• drenched feet
• puffy eyes
• rain
• fucking ants!!
• messy clohtes
• stupid vaccum
• mean voices from downstairs
• washing clothes
• ants that wont die
• bug spray smell
• ants in my bed
• being told "i told you to/so"
• powerpoints
• longing to sleep
• excessive phone bills
• friends that take forever
• people from the past that impose
• budda taking forever
• lost friends
• profound memories
• dirty mats

• to wait for the oven to preheat
• to thaw food, how come we can't microwave it all?
• when the instructions on the box are not that clear
• when the cooking time is longer than an episode of degrassi
• when my food burns and I followed the box and everything
• adding my own spices and having it taste like butt
• clumpy spaghetti- ala letty special
• burnt cakes and melted chocolate lakes
• bugs flying around my food
• dropping food at the bottom of the oven and unable to attain it
• when i burn the best meal
• that i can never successfully make macaroni

• Some women really are hairy, I saw one today
• If I broke myself I'd sadly want another
• My, how music has grown, almost an adult
• David Bowie was one glam man but I still love his music
• Hustle Rose will always means something to me
• Days in the park by shore are the absolute best
• Little kids look like little pets
• My speech teacher could have possibly been a burlesque dancer in a past life
• I am about to die because I have not painted
• Perhaps my parents have classically conditioned me to argue
• How man times a day does a man in a skid-o-can gets knocked over
• What other insects are related to the light bug

• about myself
• music
• my grandma
• my family
• schoenstatt
• smelly stuff
• the weather
• about food
• school
• my car
• my mom
• government now
• sacha
• smoking
• people
• haters

• I want to drive a really bad ass corvette
• I saw the Phenomenauts tonight they were fun and creative
• Not as awesome as Flametrick Subs though
• I completely embarassed myself infront of that little boy
• I think the door boy is way to fuckin cute
• I actually start to blush, it's bad
• I've seen D.A. more times than anyother local band in Corpitos
• Oh I smile a lot when I actually get a chance to think

• gyspy dance was especially good
• notes in sequence to produce lovely sound
• her dedication or persistence i should say
• she is good...i swear

• Rocky..ohh yeah!
• Augie Garcia- boo hoo
• Guy I met in Austin -yeahhhh
• Nathaniel Perrin- my lil cowboy
• Sacha Winkler- fucking lame
• Jon Fair- nice records!
• Tony Steiffel -damn his cynical humor
• that one guy i saw on campus...thats all of that

• I got to wake up late (and re-enact #17), lay around listening to lovely feathers and not-thinking/thinking at the same time
• immediatelt showered off the negativity of the night before
• I danced around and sang loud in the bathroom
• my parents weren't here so i got to lounge around in my little mexican dress that I so dearly love and didnt have to worry about under garments
• I ordered Capote on T.V and it was good
• In between watching that movie I procrastinated
• I cooked a lovely dinner for my parents to show my gratitude
• I successfully talked to all my sister for more than 20 minutes
• I laughed and talked with Victoria for close to 2 hours

• Preface:

So while wandering around Half Price for a new summer read I asked this guy what book he really enjoyed, I love option and opinions. So he starts to go off about all these authors I had never heard of and I was hooked then I realized ...I want a guy like that...and guy completely different from the one I'm focusing on now. I want:

• a philosopher
• a reader
• a thinker
• a true lover
• a romantic
• an artist
• not a musician but musically inclined
• shy
• funny
• a hardcore athlete

• His hair is exceptionally long
• He pisses me off
• He likes to look at lizard magazines during leisure time
• Willing to spend more on his animals than his girlfriend
• Constant complaining
• Somewhat detached lost feelings that the black hole around me ate up
• Consistent Drinking
• School starting in the fall
• I shouldn't focus on anyone but me right now
• Time consuming
• Beware of jealousy, my lord, the green-eyed monster.
• We are too physically pre-occupied when we are near
• Easily distracted by other potential people
• Enjoying freedom of nothing

• cramps today
• pain in my tummy today
• eyes feel tiny
• legs feel sore
• messy hair
• glasses that slip off nose
• wasted feeling
• hunger strikes
• restless force
• forgotten task for the day
• thoughts of sleep
• homework

• speak what we will not what we will say
• i think,therefore i drink
• when a route ends the opposite pends
• i loathe to miss what i kiss
• listening to you speak a second for my brain to leak
• clear you mind and find your kind

• The girl at the very end that breakdances, then spins on her head.
• When the lead black dancer gets pissed about the fact that all 8 of them sucked at the dance off
• The Dance off @ The ZOO club
• The old woman dressed punk
• Dance off #2

• Vicky
• Trisha
• Sara
• Marissa
• Andy
• Margie

• they smell
• they pee
• the poop
• they demand attention
• it's a mini kid
• an obligation
• another responsibility
• more money to waste
• more groceries to buy
• something to cater too
• they shed
• the lick themselves then you
• they bark
• they bark loud and alot
• they reproduce

• no parental recognition for good grades, sad but true
• the crappy week of summer
• not enjoying my summer at all because I'm a buttface
• not wanting to paint but dying to do it
• drawing then getting really fucking frustrated
• not talking to my brother at all
• the war on iraq
• women who deny their culture and heritage
• stupid girls that are weedy greedy
• girls dressed up like they are going to the club but are in your friends backyard
• CHIGGERS, I fucking hate chiggers
• cussing a lot more than I ever have in my life
• the fact that I havent taken my birth control at all
• dreading my period this month, whenever i...

• I made an A on my Art history test that I naturally thought I would fail
• I am studying hard and working hard
• I'm actually doing my homework and hey, guess what? It's paying off
• I'm rediscovered a pretty black skirt
• I'm looking forward for the fall, I CAN DO IT DAMNIT!
• I MADE THE DEANS LIST!

• cheers to random nights
• hooray for exclusive art displays
• boo to friends that leave early and dont stick it out!
• boo to mean boys
• yay to friends that drive far away to see you
• yay for parental freedom
• oh shit for stupid boys that hang around
• hooray for good friends that share with you
• cheers for love in random places around the city

• friends arent really that reliable sometimes
• some people who shall remain nameless use me for attention
• some people who shall remain nameless SUCK

• morning or midnight runs, when you just feel infamous and your feet fly
• sing loudly in the shower, cleaning, doing dishes, everywhere and anywhere, i'm surprised i havent been caught
• read the bible
• reorganize my room
• just plain clean to good music
• dance, dance, dance...i just want to dance
• check the mail
• write
• read anything political from the present or past
• dancing around in the bathroom after a shower,with my turqouise towel and mirror of an audience
• puzzles with friends!
• watching movies i've already seen
• play with my hair, different styles, curled,straight etc.

• I deserve better
• It will never work out because we will always fuck it up
• Things will always end up the same unless I change and I dont see why I should have to change for someone else.

• Art History I
• Drawing II
• Work on digital media in lab
• Email Mr.C about using lab
• Run in the mornings or evening-decide
• No more cokes
• Finish or start a painting
• Look for a job
• Start look for hair style to trim
• Blue hair again? perhaps
• Call Courtina on Birthday!
• Clean out car weekly-fucking rain
• Slowly start acquiring more clothes
• I want my bridge again, order jewelry
• Reorganize room
• Find and devote a session to a new CD!
• paint lovely feathers pic or redo in lab
• Clean sweep slowly- one room a week

• robert frost anthology that i with held from the library in 6th grade because at the time i "just couldn't live without it"
• Violet- In 8th grade i read this book so many times
• What every girl should know- the explanation of life's little monthly mysteries that my older half sister gave to me
• Girl-by blake nelson. The movie fucked up the view but the book, cheesy yes but sadly true. written by a guy in a girls perspective
• more to come...

• days when your eyes are feel swollen from waking up to early and partially spontaneous crying
• drenched feet
• humidity overload on hair
• a buddy on your face
• uncapable of powerpoint
• loser applications

The Field on Coopers Road, random and isolated. Collier Park under the tree in the left corner. Schoenstatt fat,old,large tree. Small locations with little hesitiations. By the water,downtown- on the corpus cliff overlooking the shore. On Louisiana Avenue, next to that hidden house. Blank lot where the yellow house use to be, next to the apartments,hidden behind the nature made fort of trees. Party corners and couches, when midnight approaches and the buzz sets in,

• Yabo the coolest/fatty fish in the world
• Oddly enough just holding hands- it's an awkwardly affectionate reassurance.
• Surprise trips from him while I studied late at the library.
• His disgustingly hilarious obsession with Taco Bell.
• Not being able to keep our hands off eachother.
• Late nights in the park.
• Listening to Lovely Feathers together, happy.
• Watching him get excited over my new drawings or prints.
• Maggie the Mouse, I can't help it!
• 3 AM in the morning
• Midnight runs thinking about us.
• Watching his reaction when he watched that Beatles documentary for the millionth time, yet was still astounished each time.