The Voice of Reading

The best quotes from Reading Festival 2010.

• 'Give me back my lizard hat!' - John Boardley
• 'No it isn't it's a fucking lizard.' - John Boardley
• 'I can't wait to be covered in pigs blood later.' - Nath
• 'Nath can you rap Express Yourself while I have sex?' - Bradley
• (Sung) 'He's getting married in the morning, he's getting married in the morning..' - Everyone
• (Sung) 'Show us where you piss from, show us where you piss from, naa naa naaaa naaaa!' - Everyone
• (Sung) 'We're charming when we're sober, we're charming when we're sober, naa naa naaaa naaaa!' - Everyone
• (Sung) 'It's a Chinese democracy...' - Guns n Roses
• 'Would you rather eat a handful of fire or suck off your dad?' - Rev Death
• 'If you grow a beard I'll grow a Val Kilmer ponytail.' - Bradley
• 'Let's tape gingerbread men to ourselves and get people to eat them off us!' - John Boardley
• 'I'm gonna draw a suitcase on your arm.' - John Boardley
• 'It's a spoon!' - John Boardley
• (Written) 'I hate ITV News coverage' - On Lee's body
• (Written) 'The 70s 4ever' - On Lee's body
• (Written)'I fuckd Jamie Bulger' - On John Boardley's body
• (Written)'I stole valuable time from the Madeline McCann police investigation' - On My body
• (Written) 'Jamie Bulger made me late for work. The dead cunt!' - The Pastor of Sodomy
• 'You got the time there Nath?' - Everyone
• 'I only go for six hours nowadays.' - Nath
• 'Is that...Harold Shipman?' - Me and Nath
• 'It's food...it's a bag of food...' - Lee
• 'You're fucking out of here!' - Unnecessarily aggressive security guard
• 'It's from a garden centre.' - Me
• 'Crawl back to the desert with your webbed feet and gills...you fucking lizard!' - Me
• 'Don't throw up in my camp! Don't throw up in my camp!' - John Slough
• 'You're fucking out of here!' - Unnecessarily aggressive disabled victim after getting covered in piss
• 'GIVE ME THE MOON!' - Axl Rose
• 'Let's jive!' - Nath
• (Written) 'I'D DO YOU!' - Cubes' ridiculously 'out there' t-shirt
• 'If anything these boots are too comfortable.' - Nath
• 'Shall all five of us sleep together tonight?' - An irresistible proposal
• 'JOHN BOARDLEY'S A HERO, JOHN BOARDLEY'S A HERO, NA NA NA NAAAA, NA NA NA NAAAA.' - The Reading Crowd
• 'Well, I sat around with my trousers round my ankles for 4 hours and she still didn't get the hint, so I started licking out her excuse for a vagina when you lot turned up.' - Bradley
• 'This place stinks of shit!' - Taylor interrupting Bradley
• 'Get a photo of me and my sick.' - John Boardley
• 'The best thing about killing cops is when I get to kill the cop.' - Me
• 'WHY AREN'T THEY PLAYING DON'T LOOK BACK INTO THE SUN?!' - Lee (combined with screaming Don't Look Back Into The Sun during any Libertines song)
• 'Pass me some of that bunk juice.' - Bunk mates
• 'If you don't have a funnel you're no fun at all.' - Nath's festival motto
• 'Oui Oui Monsieur.' - Cubes' hand puppet
• 'Shall we kiss?' - Nathan just after the bunk buddy tent had quietened down
• ‎'I'm so fat. Bleeuuughhhh!' - Hand Taylor
• ‎'This is Menstruation Corner.' - Bradley
• 'Have some more of the Questionable Greek Spirit...' - Lee
• 'Did we just spend £25 on parsley...?' - Lee
• ‎'Meet us by the disabs.' - Everyone
• (Sung) 'Fuck the police!' - Everyone directed at passing stewards
• 'I'm afraid we've been having some complaints you haven't been smoking enough weed or drinking enough beer boys.' - Random charity worker
• ‎'Heaaaaaad. That's how you say 'head' in Welsh!' - Me
• 'Nice penis you have there.' - Universal compliment shared between everyone
• 'Let's grind down some paracetamol and smoke it...' Bradley
• 'He's got a bird in there!' - John 'Subtlety' Boardley
• 'Aborting John Boardley's unborn child or waiting until they'd grown some kind of emotional attachment and then snatching her from his arms?' - Me
• 'Bradley's probably having the time of his life right now...' - Everyone after Bradley got kicked out
• (Text) 'I'm almost definitely sure I've found the pick-up site. Everything's coming up Bradley.' - Bradley
• • 'I have festive mallets.'
  • 'Do you have a Christmas one then?'
  • 'No...' - Me
• 'You can't spell Abby without slut.' - Nath
• 'If it doesn't count as sex when you crymax then I never lost my virginity.' - Taylor
• 'How are you still drunk!?!' - Universal question directed at John Boardley
• 'Did anyone else have a rock hard boner during that journey?' - Nath
• 'Dark sky over there. What does that mean to shepherd John?' - Me
• 'I had a dream that all I could move was my hand and Taylor kept looking at me and all I could do was shake my hand at him and he didn't pay any attention. It was horrible.' - Bradley
• 'Excuse me how would you react to a petition asking you to give money to our child molesting campaign.' - Nath
• '‎Oh guys, we could've gone to the Silent Arena...well that just doesn't sound any fun at all.' - Lee
• 'I can't take my eyes off your black hole.' - Taylor in regards to my chin gap
• (Written) 'You're next!' - Rev Death on Lee's boot
• 'I had a semi!' - John's reply whenever Nath talked about his boner
• 'Kiss me buh!' - John's never-ending kiss attempts on everyone Sunday
• 'I've had my wolf for under 24 hours and already he's covered in shit!' - Me
• 'I know absolutely everything that's gone on on facebook in the last 6 hours.' - Bradley in answer to what he got up to all night
• 'We've got a really nice spot actually.' - John describing the wasteland he was camping in