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• "God regards agnostics as atheists with a hint of cowardice"-Andy Hamilton
• "What's heaven like? It's like Scotland, only with less Scots. Well no Scots. They were barred after one of them chinned St Peter"-Andy Hamilton
• "The relationship between religion and warfare is very similar to the relationship between Ant and Dec, you could have one without the other, but I'm not sure anybody would see the point."-Marcus Brigstocke
• "People go on about 'oh traditions, this is a Christian country,' which basically means 'I'm white and I think thats an achievement.'"-Jeremy Hardy

Sometimes I've gone for second favourites to avoid repeating myself

• Day 01 - favourite film: Monty Python And The Holy Grail
• Day 02 - least favourite film: Silent Hill
• Day 03 - a film you can quote all/most of: Monty Python: The Life Of Brian
• Day 04 - a film starring your favourite actor: The Naked Gun Trilogy (Leslie Nielsen)
• Day 05 - a film by your favourite director: Hot Shots! (Jim Abrahams)
• day 06 - guilty pleasure: About A Boy
• day 07 - favourite comedy: Airplane!
• day 08 - favourite action movie: Last Action Hero
• day 09 - favourite sci-fi movie: Star Trek: First Contact
• day 10 - favourite horror movie: Scary Movie 3
• day 11 - favourite animated/children's film: Toy Story 3
• day 12 - favourite musical: The Rocky Horror Picture Show
• day 13 - favourite film when you were a kid: Aladin
• day 14 - favourite film released in the l...__Four Lions__

• day 01 - your favourite TV show: Have I Got News For You
• day 02 - your least favourite TV show: My Super Sweet Sixteen
• day 03 - a TV show you've seen every episode of: Red Dwarf
• day 04 - a TV show you want to see every episode of: Family Guy
• day 05 - best first episode: The Young Ones
• day 06 - favourite finale: Life On Mars
• day 07 - favourite episode of a TV show: One Foot In The Grave (The Trial)
• day 08 - favourite scene in a TV show: Frasier (Three Valentines - A Valentine For Niles)
• day 09 - favourite location in a TV show: Porridge (Slade Prison)
• day 10 - favourite character in a TV show: Father Dougal McGuire (Father Ted)
• day 11 - TV Show With A Character You Hate: Chief ARP Warden Hodges (Dad's Army). In a good way
• day 12 - Character Most Like You: Will McKenzie from The Inbetweeners
• day 13 - TV show that is a guilty pleasur...__Desperate Housewives__

• My 12 closest friends. Judas isn't invited this time
• Soup Of The Day - so that everyone would remember the date
• Some colouring in to do with tiny crayons while I wait for the mains.
• Lasagne
• Cheesy Garlic bread - slightly undercooked so the garlic butter is all runny and lovely
• Potato Smilies
• A side salad - and a personal waiter/butler to pick out the tomatoes. I would then leave the whole salad
• Pigs in Blankets
• Rocky Horror desert (from Harvester...oh come on I'm being crucified in a bit, the least you could do is nip to Harves...ok I'll settle for Beefeater, just any kind of Ice-cream, chocolate, fudge, brownie combo).

• William Hartnell: The Dalek Invasion Of Earth
• Patrick Troughton: The Invasion
• Jon Petwee: The Three Doctors
• Tom Baker: City Of Death
• Peter Davison: The Caves Of Androzani
• Colin Baker: The Two Doctor's
• Sylvester McCoy: The Curse Of Fenric
• Paul McGann: Doctor Who: The Movie
• Christopher Ecclston: The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances
• David Tennant: Silence In The Library/Forest Of The Dead
• Matt Smith: The Eleventh Hour

• Tutti Frutti
• Cherry Cola
• Mudslide
• Purple Rain
• Strawberry Woo Woo
• Woo Woo
• Little Miss Sunshine
• Del Boy

In that order.

• Best Shot Stick is number 4.
• My ideal shot stick is:
  • Blackcurrent
  • Very Cherry
  • Bakewell Tart
  • Jelly Baby
  • Raspberry
  • Birthday Cake

• I'm a creative writing student. Which kinda puts undue pressue on this page to be good. Rest assured it will be well up to the quality of someone like Dan Brown.
• I do my creative writing studenting in Cheltenham and the University of Glouscestershire.
• I like making lists.
• I like bandwagons.
• By the time you next see me all these lists will be inaccurate because I change my mind so often.
• My name is Dan. And sometimes I misjudge which things should come first in an 'about me' list.
• I like laughing, my friends (who make me do the first), Comedy (which makes me do the first too, unless it's on BBC3), Doctor Who.
• I'm on Twitter, (www.twitter.com/mrdvine) which is probably the best place to find...

• When someone laughs so much that they have to comment "Oh, you do make me laugh," or similar afterwards
• Laughing so much you can't breathe
• The smell of petrol
• Making people laugh
• Non-Chronological Story-telling
• Episodes of TV Shows that take place all in one scene
• Not really being arsed to finish a list and doing it some other time
• Trying not to laugh at funerals (aka. the giggle loop http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iKjkPgVQ...)
• Irony
• Cider

• Men and Toilets
• The Letter
• Lesbian Spank Inferno
• Cushion Rage
• The Nativity skip to 3:50
• Cremation Vs Naturism
• World Wildfowl Club
• God doesn't exist: The proof
• The News At Ton
• The News Without Film
• Hieroglyphics
• Spokeman for the Society of Pispronounci...
• The Girl Who Waited
• Ianto's bedside monologue
• Hello Stonehenge!
• The Logician
• Victor Meldrew is bored indoors alone al...
• Paul Merton is bored indoors alone all d...

• day 01 - your favorite song: Our House - Madness
• day 02 - your least favourite song: Single Ladies - Beyonce
• day 03 - a song that makes you happy: Bring Me Sunshine - Morecambe and Wise
• day 04 - a song that makes you sad: Don't Cry - Guns 'N' Roses
• day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone: I Choose Not To Remember - Thousand Autumns
• day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere: Love Shack - B52s
• day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event: Cheltenham - The Favourites
• day 08 - a song that you know all the words to: Jilted John - Jilted John
• day 09 - a song that you can dance to: Beer - Reel Big Fish
• day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep: My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
• day 11 - a song by your favourite band: NW5 - Madness
• day 12 - a song by a band you hate: Ghostbusters - Jedward
• day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure: Lies - McFly
• day 14 - a song that no one would expect ...__Puff The Magic Dragon - Peter, Paul and M...__

• Best Comedy Panel Show: Would I Lie To You?
• Best Comedy Entertainment Program: Charlie Brooker's Newswipe
• Best Comedy Entertainment Personality: Charlie Brooker
• Best Male Comic: David Mitchell
• Best Female Comic: Jo Brand
• Best New British TV Comedy: The Trip
• Best Male Comedy Breakthrough Artist: Jack Whitehall
• Best Female Comedy Breakthrough Artist: Isy Suttie
• Best Sketch Show: That Mitchell and Webb Look (not even nominated, wtf?)
• Best Sitcom: The Trip
• Best Comedy Actor: Peter Capaldi
• Best Comedy Actress: Katherine Parkinson
• Best British Comedy Performance in a Film: Kayvan Novak (from Four Lions which would be best film if that was a category)
• People's Choice Award For King/Queen Of Comedy: David Mitchell

• Host: Stephen Fry
• Team Captains: David Mitchell and Paul Merton.
• Guests On The Pilot Episode: David's Team: Ian Hislop and Greame Garden. Paul's Team: Reginald D Hunter and Lee Mack

Games:

• General Ignorance (QI)
• This Is My... (WILTY?)
• Missing Words/Complete Phrase (HIGNFY/ISIHAC)
• Book/Film/Song Club or Chat Up Lines (ISIHAC)
• Scenes We'd Like To See (MTW)
• Caption Competition (HIGNFY)

• Room 101
• I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue (x2)
• Chain Reaction
• Just A Minute (x2)
• The News Quiz (x2)
• Look Away Now
• The Now Show (x2 at one Hugh Dennis read out my joke on the audience question. It got a massive laugh but was cut from the show)
• Jeremy Hardy Speaks To The Nation
• Genius
• I've Never Seen Star Wars
• Another Case Of Milton Jones

• Pimms and Lemonade
• Kopperberg Preferably Mixed Fruits or Summer/winter berries, but anything except pear I like
• Revz Cocktails (See seperate list that I haven't made yet)
• Jaques Fruit Cider (The red one)
• Savana Dry
• Vodka, Lemon and Lime
• Stowford Press
• Scumpy Jack (Scrummy Js)
• Fuzzy Shark (Tea pot at the Frog)
• Henry Weston's Toffee Apple Cider
• Henry Weston's Cider
• Strongbow
• Jagermeister

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RULES You are in charge of a TV channel for the night. You can put what you want on, but it has to be a nice range of programs so the schedule is:

• 1) Documentary
• 2) Kids/Family Show
• 3) Quiz/Gameshow
• 4) Entertainment Show
• 5) Sitcom
• 6) Sketch Show
• 7) Panel Show
• 8) Drama
• 9) Indulge yourself choose another from your favourite above genre
• 10) Film

BONUS: Also pick the episode of each you would show someone who'd never seen an episode before.

MY SELECTIONS

• 5pm Documentary: Stephen Fry: The Secret ...

Things that exist only online, or that I discovered through the internet - so not including TV clips on youtube, unless I know the show/clip thanks to youtube. In no particular order

• Mid-Morning Matters With Alan Partridge ...
• Misery Bear
• Peter Serafinowicz: 50 Impressions, 2 Mi...
• Autotune The News/Songify This
• Sketchy
• Literal Total Eclipse Video
• Axis Of Awesome
• Jon Stewart's Speech At The Rally To Res...
• Comedian Jon Stewart guest stars on Cros...
• Babelcolour
• David Armand Interpretative Dance
• Doctor Stew
• Craig Fergusson's Late Late Show Doctor ...
• Key Of Awesome
• Kids React To Viral Videos
• Trailers

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The best sitcom characters other than the main character.

• Father Dougal McGuire (Father Ted)
• Doctor Niles Craine (Frasier)
• Marvin (Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy)
• Major Gowan (Fawlty Towers)
• Trigger (Only Fools And Horses)
• Bryn West (Gavin and Stacey)
• Mrs Warboys (One Foot In The Grave)
• Duane Dibley (Red Dwarf)
• Ace Rimmer (Red Dwarf) - I count all 5 regulars as main characters
• Mr Gilbert (The Inbetweeners)
• Darren Lamb (Extras)
• Barry from Eastenders (Extras)
• General Melchett (Black Adder Goes Forth)
• Jeff Murdoch (Coupling)
• Private Frazer (Dad's Army)
• Professor Farnsworth (Futurama)

• One book you’re currently reading:

Got a chapter and an epilogue left of Being Human: Chasers. 'Tis all right. Now it's near the end it feels a little bit rushed, but there's a brilliant argument scene where Mark Michalowski gets their voices perfect. I'm also reading The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen, funny proper literature. That's two, I know. what ya gonna do?

• One book that changed your life:

I'm not sure any one book has. Lots of books have influenced my writing style. I'm currently writing a thing that's got lots of influences from The Talk Of The Town by Ardal O'Hanlon, which is one of the most proffessionally written books I've read by any comedian.

• One author’s works you’d be stranded ...

• What is Your Favourite Word?

I like Antidisestablishmentarianism, coz it's a crazy long word, with so many parts, but suprisingly easy to spell. Just looking to check I didn't get it wrong. I like long complicated cool words like that, but often I don't like the people who use them. I'm odd like that.

• What is your least favourite word?

Whilst! Pisses me off. Nobody says Whilst, you say while, but then people keep using it when they're writing and it annoys me. Clunge. For me it's a much more horrible word than the other C-word.

• What turns you on?

Sense of humour. Yeah right, bollocks! It does. I like people who make me laugh. Someone witty said that "By good sense of humour, women mean 'someone who makes me ...

• Welwyn I like living somewhere quiet, out of the way and all feildy and lovely
• Welwyn Garden City Because there is nothing in Welwyn, just a load of fucking fields
• Cheltenham Where I go to Uni. This and Welwyn are not good places for me to live because I have a tendancy to see big and really nice houses and get upset that I don't own them. If you live in one of these houses your address will shortly appear on my listography.
• London I love living close enough that a trip to London for the day can be done on a whim. So much stuff to see and do. And shut up about the litter and the pigeon shit, coz those things and all the other crap aside, it's a really nice city
• Edinburgh Right now it's August and for the first time in 3 years I'm not at the Fringe. Best month/town combo ever. Great comedians everywhere you look. Fantastic shows. Bri...