listography: quotes (Of People Around Me, 2008)

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you fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

-Margaret Atwood

lisa	I LOVE
	I DON'T LOVE
	FILM
	MUSIC
	ART

Ash	francesbean
Abby	jen
Amber	jenz
Bliss	katie
Curiosity Kil...	katie
Daniel W.	kimber
JL	lisa
Jill	listography
Lyss	luella
Meg	nicole.
Melanie	tami
Sarah	thatsincentive
SooZUHN	trista
cari	whalemouse

quotes (Of People Around Me, 2008)

"I thought you were going to show me your underwear." -Mom
dialogue
- Me: I kind of want a puppy.
- Michael: Nuh-uh.
- Me: Why not?
- Michael: I don't want competition for your love.
"Don't be afraid to be a princess." -Michael
dialogue
- Melanie: How many ABCs can you have?
- McAlister: You can only have three.
"He's been fixed for six months, and he's still nuts!" -Kelsey M.
"Kelsey, I think it's time you admit you have the dirtiest mind in this class." -McAlister
"Mr. Brielmaier, no one likes you. Drake, no one likes you. Cliff (hesitates) your mom likes you." -Nick
"I'm good at dodgeball because people always throw stuff at me." -Drake
"I've met Casper." -Alan
"I was looking at the Democrats." -Reuben
"Don't eat too many of those. They give you mad diarrhea." -Chris
"This makes you pee?" -Nick
"I met a kid out there. His teacher told him to go for a walk, too. He was doing handstands." -Drake
"They're pretty timeless." -McAlister, referring to breasts
"Florida State's a real college?" -Alexis
"I remember when I was a wee little baby popping out of the wound." -Jamie
"He must have had some serious wedgies in high school." -Nick, referring to Mr. Farmer
"Money! She said something with money. Of course I'm listening." -Iesl
"I'm tired of being a white kid." -Abby
"Whip my hand: I'm curious." -Alex
"I would go home, take off my clothes, and play." -Robert
dialogue
- Chuong: Come, come.
- Sofia: What do you want me to do?
- Chuong: I'm telling you to come.
- Andrew: Ew! What did you say?
"Watch me eat it. Is this right?" -Kirsten, overheard in hallway
"I want to sit on sunshine." -Iesl
"We came up with 'swurge' which is the strong desire to kick a child off a swing so you can get on." -Kat
"Wait, where did our anus come from?" -Yelizaveta
"Why do I always have broken pieces of spoon in my backpack?" -Jamie
"You know how many babies I lose everyday?" -Alex
"What is with all these black queens?" -Abby
"I don't really wanna go home though because I have to talk to my neighbor." -Abby
"Señora, can I sing for the class?" -Robert
"I have a fear of gigantic walls of dust." -Chris
"I wouldn't mind being fully conscious when I die as long as it's not drowing, burning, or strangulation." -Sofia
"We've gotta have a Paula Abdul to your Simon." -Sofia, referring to Mrs. Pranke's tough judgment
"I wish my nipples were really big eyeballs." -Brian
"It doesn't work like it does in the movies." -Andrew, trying to blow dust off a book
dialogue
- Chuong: It needs to go up her shirt for a second.
- Alyssa: Why are we stuffing things in my shirt?
dialogue
- Alyssa: Wait, you're writing on orange paper with orange? What the hell?
- Brian: You can see it.
"Crying is messy. You get your shirt wet." -Alan
dialogue
- Alex: I want to shave my whole head. Just shave it.
- Jamie: Do you not like having a girlfriend?
- Alex: I'm sorry you only like me for my body.
"That's a massive pepperoni. People could come from Cuba on that." -Bailey
"A unit of bread." -Abby, describing LOAF in Taboo
"Where's my puffer?!" -Abby, describing ASTHMA in Taboo
"I reject your footsie play." -Bailey, to Jamie
"See? We wrote 'cocks'. We're not ashamed." -Alan
"If you eat them by the ones, it's like you're a polygamist and they're all your wives." -Alan, referring to fries
dialogue
- Alan: You know who's not getting my food? You, Alex.
- Alex: Do you know how much history I've given you?
- Alan: You didn't even do any of 'em.
- Jamie: You've been sending him my history?!
- Alex: (waves hand at Jamie) That's not the point. The point is you owe me, Alan.
- Jamie: Alan owes me!
"Tomorrow's the last period of the year, y'all." -Chris, on the last day of school
"Oh my God, you're gonna go out with Michael with onion breath? You're so unattractive." -Iesl
"Godzilla vs. Toothpick." -Kevin, while sparring with Tae
"Dang, even your butt's hard." -Tae, to Kevin
dialogue
- Jamie: Alex is in Costa Rica.
- Me: Why is he always going to Hispanic countries?
- Bailey: He's going back to his homeland.
dialogue
- Alex M.: Alexis, what are you doing in higher level bio?
- Alexis: (looks around) I'm not in higher level bio— Oh, wait! Yes, I am!
"Kelsey said she wants to be the surrogate mother of monkeys." -Anna
"I'm gonna start thinking in Morgan Freeman's voice." -Matt
dialogue
- Trevor: Is it handwritten?
- Emily: No, it's on paper.
- Trevor: They're all on paper.
"Mejía wasn't up for the block vote, so I told her I was just compulsively reading off names." -McAlister
"Gynecologist. It's a butt doctor." -Alex
dialogue
- Ricky: Let's go to Tijuana for lunch.
- Chris: Naw, that's all right. I've got a nice fruit cup.
dialogue
- Alex M.: I had a dream that all these government buildings all over the world were blowing up.
- Michelle: That's so weird! I had a dream where Washington D.C. blew up.
- Alan: Maybe you guys are subconsciously terrorists.
dialogue
- Meagan: Isn't falling down the stairs symbolic of sex?
- McAlister: Really bad sex.
dialogue
- Drake: In today's documentary: Mr. Brielmaier said to put food in the trash.
- Matt: Which he will retrieve later.
dialogue
- Logan: You said that during Batista's reign, you were looked down upon like dirt, like tierra, because you were a peasant.
- Sarah Z.: (with Cuban accent) Yes.
- Logan: And when Castro came into power, you were still a peasant.
- Sarah Z.: (with Cuban accent) Yes.
"Should I save my banana for now?" -Michelle
"Why is she reading War and Peace?" -Matt, referring to Lizzie's art history textbook
dialogue
- Alan: Did you just take something from my food?
- Jamie: (with back turned) No . . .
- Alan: Well, I hope it was hot and it burned you.
- Me: Yeah, she popped it in her mouth then took it back out.
- Alan: See, that's called karma.
- Jamie: No, it's called delicious.
dialogue
- Bailey: I can't finish this. Dean?
- Dean: No, I can't.
- Bailey: Come on, don't give me that quitter mentality.
- Dean: No. I can't be that guy.
dialogue
- ("Heartbreaker Dreammaker Lovetaker" playing in background)
- Alex: You're a heartbreaker, Aaron.
- Will: You broke my heart.
- Alex: And mine.
"All in." -Aaron
"I wish I was a good writer. I wanna make you cry." -Yoni, to Ms. Schoene
dialogue
- Alex: Hey, where'd you get this blue book? Online?
- Ricky: It's red.
"Roomful of bitches." -Juan, in biology
"Ivan and Chris are all up in my pineapple." -Michelle
"Callie, you have really well-defined spirals." -Chris
dialogue
- Trevor: (singing) I saw Chris's face . . .
- Chris: What?!
dialogue
- Callie: Ivan! Pull up your pants, seriously!
- Ivan: (stares aghast)
dialogue
- Michelle: Why were there no trials, then?
- Esther: (as Mao) Because I did not want to hear their complaints.
dialogue
- Michelle: If you were such an advocate of women's rights, then why did you say, "What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands."
- Esther: (as Mao) Could you repeat my quote?
- Michelle: "What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands."
- Esther: (as Mao) I'm pretty sure that was a sarcastic comment.
dialogue
- Patrick: There are different levels of bad wordery.
- Matt: It's called diction!
dialogue
- Catie: Meaning can be lost since you're just looking at the text.
- Emily: Not if you have a webcam! That's what Emily uses!
- Trevor: (bursts out laughing)
"I only say rofl if I'm really (feigns falling to floor)." -Logan
dialogue
- McAlister: As someone who is not a fan of mainstream pornography . . .
- Emily: But the underground stuff is okay.
- McAlister: I don't like the degrading stuff. There is feminist pornography like you wouldn't know.
"If there are closet sluts, we should know about them." -Emily
"I can't calculate all things in my head. I can't calculate infinity and that's my love for you." -Michael
"I painted my nails for the first time ever. It looks like I did them with my teeth." -Ellie
"I don't even know what time I'm supposed to be home. But I'm not going to ask 'cause then she's gonna tell me and I'm gonna be like, 'No.' " -Sofia
"Is it bad that every time I hear 'Oh my God' I think of that big butt song?" -Sofia
"My parents don't care about me like yours do." -Margot
"A common practice for teachers is to get a muzzle for Alex (Reece)." -Anna
"The deets were pretty ridic." -Alex
dialogue
- Alexis: I haven't had a burger in years.
- Ricky: Why? Are you like Sagar or something?
- Alex M.: (pets Sagar who moves away) I love making Sagar uncomfortable. I love it!
"Thank you for helping me, but don't copy me." -Mom, using my sister and me in a lie to get out of an event
dialogue
- Me: Did you touch his balls?
- Tae: No, I didn't touch anything. (grabs a guy's butt)
dialogue
- Tae: Kevin, you're so cute.
- Kevin: (nods) You, too.
"I have a nice butt, right?" -Peter, after Tae pulled his pants down
"I don't care about other guys. I've got something that's bigger." -Tae, after I claimed other guys have larger hands
"Isn't my stick big? Isn't the head wide?" -Tae, referring to his lacrosse sticks
"We had a higher level math study session at Chen's and the only way we could get Sagar to come was if he got a free eggroll, but the only way Alan's parents would give him a free eggroll was to tell them he was homeless. He tried to buy a meal later, but they wouldn't take his money." -Anna
"How did that (kiss) happen? Was she intoxicated? I don't mean it like that. It's just that I've always had respect for her." -Anna, to Drake
"I wish I knew what you were saying, Señora." -Meagan, to Sra. Mejía
"'Quiet's cool flesh... let's sniff and eat it.' I thought that was pretty creative. She wants to sniff and eat it." -Yoni
"I don't get this game. What's going on?" -Ricky, distressed while watching Egyptian Ratscrew
dialogue, discussion of Risk
- Ricky: Why would you take over Asia?
- Alex: You're Indian. What do you know? You've never taken over anything.
- Ricky: What are you? You're Mexican!
"Everyone follow the cripple train~" -Alan, referring to the line of people behind Will on crutches
"You know how I abbreviate things? Well, in Spanish I asked Ms. Mejía for a dictionay." -Alex
dialogue
- Ivan: (referring to Yoni, Charlie, Rox) Three stooges back there. They're all Jewish.
- Rox: Huh?
"This is a difficult poem. I don't think any of us were able to capture the essence of 'After Apple Picking.' We were all able to write something due to Frost's occasional flirtation with coherence." -McAlister
dialogue
- Meagan: Cheating's wrong, Marina. The Bible says, "Thou shalt not steal—"
- Margaret: Who cares about the Bible?!
"First you think I'm liberal and now you think I'm rich?" -Jamie
"I don't know what you have against the Quotient Rule." -Patrick
"I'm just gonna go back in the closet." -Matt
dialogue
- Callie: Ivan, stop caressing me with your foot.
- McAlister: Stop caressing his foot with your hip.
dialogue
- Yoni: (sticks wooden sword in pants)
- McAlister: Yoni now has legal ownership of the sword.
dialogue
- Hanna: So there can be too much testosterone in the womb and we don't know why? Oh, God.
- Lindsay: Of course all the girls are freaking out and the guys don't care.
"There's actually an interesting story attached to this. I liked a girl at my church and one day we were watching a movie, so I recited 'Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day?' for her and she basically laughed at me." -Robert
"'Strifle' isn't a word? I'll just put that and we can find a 'synomyn'." -Iesl
"PANTS!" -Marina, to Margot
dialogue
- Michelle: Does anyone have an extra shirt I can wear?
- Alex M.: Why?
- Michelle: I smell like Asian food.
- Alex M.: No, you don't.
- Michelle: No, come near me and it'll waft toward you.
- Alex M.: (approaching) Oh . . .
"My rear does smile sometimes." -Alan
dialogue
- Bailey: Now we're closer to the dumpster.
- Jamie: That's where you belong.
dialogue
- Bailey: Jamie wanted to throw me in the trash earlier.
- Jamie: Bailey . . . I love you. (laughs uncontrollably)
- Bailey: Screw you, Jamie.
dialogue
- Ivan: Look at Kirsten. (referring to her Colgate hoodie) She likes toothpaste.
- Kirsten: It's a college.
- McAlister: The people there do have nice teeth.
- Ivan: They're sponsored.
"You're applying to the University of McAlister Gets Money." -McAlister
"Ms. Wilkes called Christine a ball-buster, but she had to whisper it because she didn't want her actual class to hear." -McAlister
dialogue
- McAlister: Why is Kirsten F-------- looking at pictures of penises on my computer?
- Kirsten: (embarassed) What?
- McAlister: Maybe I want everyone to know that (louder) Kirsten F-------- is looking at pictures of penises on my computer.
"I don't think Robert Frost could even write a good commentary on 'After Apple Picking'. (in Frost's voice) In 'After Apple Picking', I, Robert Frost, use diction and that's all I have to say about this poem." -McAlister
dialogue
- Alan: You are promised by your pimp that you will get paid a lot of money, never go hungry, and that you will always have a roof over your head. One day you solicit a man who turns out to be a police officer and he arrests you.
- Reece: You're still not going hungry and you still have a roof over your head.
- Logan: (roleplaying the prostitute) Yeah, but I'm being raped and not getting paid for it.
"I thought you were blowing me a kiss." -Aaron, to Sra. Mejía
"If anybody else walks in, I'm kicking them out." -Helena, during a full house at Bayridge
"Yay! You're a real person. Aren't you excited?" -Patti, from Olin Library
dialogue
- Mother: Do I have phantom ass?
- Daughter: No, but I have phantom ass.
dialogue
- Woman: How long have you been together?
- Girl: Two weeks.
- Woman: And you're already buying him presents?
- Girl: For Christmas!
- Woman: You might not even like him then.
- Girl: Yes, I will.
- Woman: How long did your other relationship last?
- Girl: Two weeks.
dialogue
- Girl 1: I was about to say it's not even November yet, but—
- Girl 2: It's almost December.
- Girl 1: Yeah.
"When you read the book, you know he's the hottest guy ever." -Matt, to Mr. Brielmaier about Edward Cullen
"Who gets drunk at a reasonable hour?" -Ross
"Studies show depression hits losers the hardest." -McAlister
"I'm more of a Sunday night kind of writer." -Trevor
"Deus ex machina: ruining plays since before Christ." -McAlister
"I think he just man-challenged you." -Chris
"Please tell the truth. Don't lie." -Jordan, as judge swearing in witnesses
dialogue
- Jamie: You thought fleece was polyester.
- Alex: No, fleece is from lamb.
- Alan: Sheep!
- Alex: Dammit.
- Alan: A lamb is a sheep.
- Alex: Right.
"You know it's bad when I feel like the ceilings are short." -Gwynna
"We're in the shape of a parabola!" -Sonya
dialogue
- (after Ms. Rushing postponed an essay)
- Ivan: I just jizzed myself.
- Trevor: Dude. Me, too.
"It smells like something tinted with alcohol. No, wait, that's trash." -Michelle
"Obsquishyous." -Aaron, mispronouncing “obsequious”
"Good to know you're practicing your right to bear arms." -McAlister, to Michelle out of dress code in spaghetti straps

jan 19 2008 ∞
apr 25 2010 +