- "I thought you were going to show me your underwear." -Mom
- dialogue
- Me: I kind of want a puppy.
- Michael: Nuh-uh.
- Me: Why not?
- Michael: I don't want competition for your love.
- "Don't be afraid to be a princess." -Michael
- dialogue
- Melanie: How many ABCs can you have?
- McAlister: You can only have three.
- "He's been fixed for six months, and he's still nuts!" -Kelsey M.
- "Kelsey, I think it's time you admit you have the dirtiest mind in this class." -McAlister
- "Mr. Brielmaier, no one likes you. Drake, no one likes you. Cliff (hesitates) your mom likes you." -Nick
- "I'm good at dodgeball because people always throw stuff at me." -Drake
- "I've met Casper." -Alan
- "I was looking at the Democrats." -Reuben
- "Don't eat too many of those. They give you mad diarrhea." -Chris
- "This makes you pee?" -Nick
- "I met a kid out there. His teacher told him to go for a walk, too. He was doing handstands." -Drake
- "They're pretty timeless." -McAlister, referring to breasts
- "Florida State's a real college?" -Alexis
- "I remember when I was a wee little baby popping out of the wound." -Jamie
- "He must have had some serious wedgies in high school." -Nick, referring to Mr. Farmer
- "Money! She said something with money. Of course I'm listening." -Iesl
- "I'm tired of being a white kid." -Abby
- "Whip my hand: I'm curious." -Alex
- "I would go home, take off my clothes, and play." -Robert
- dialogue
- Chuong: Come, come.
- Sofia: What do you want me to do?
- Chuong: I'm telling you to come.
- Andrew: Ew! What did you say?
- "Watch me eat it. Is this right?" -Kirsten, overheard in hallway
- "I want to sit on sunshine." -Iesl
- "We came up with 'swurge' which is the strong desire to kick a child off a swing so you can get on." -Kat
- "Wait, where did our anus come from?" -Yelizaveta
- "Why do I always have broken pieces of spoon in my backpack?" -Jamie
- "You know how many babies I lose everyday?" -Alex
- "What is with all these black queens?" -Abby
- "I don't really wanna go home though because I have to talk to my neighbor." -Abby
- "Señora, can I sing for the class?" -Robert
- "I have a fear of gigantic walls of dust." -Chris
- "I wouldn't mind being fully conscious when I die as long as it's not drowing, burning, or strangulation." -Sofia
- "We've gotta have a Paula Abdul to your Simon." -Sofia, referring to Mrs. Pranke's tough judgment
- "I wish my nipples were really big eyeballs." -Brian
- "It doesn't work like it does in the movies." -Andrew, trying to blow dust off a book
- dialogue
- Chuong: It needs to go up her shirt for a second.
- Alyssa: Why are we stuffing things in my shirt?
- dialogue
- Alyssa: Wait, you're writing on orange paper with orange? What the hell?
- Brian: You can see it.
- "Crying is messy. You get your shirt wet." -Alan
- dialogue
- Alex: I want to shave my whole head. Just shave it.
- Jamie: Do you not like having a girlfriend?
- Alex: I'm sorry you only like me for my body.
- "That's a massive pepperoni. People could come from Cuba on that." -Bailey
- "A unit of bread." -Abby, describing LOAF in Taboo
- "Where's my puffer?!" -Abby, describing ASTHMA in Taboo
- "I reject your footsie play." -Bailey, to Jamie
- "See? We wrote 'cocks'. We're not ashamed." -Alan
- "If you eat them by the ones, it's like you're a polygamist and they're all your wives." -Alan, referring to fries
- dialogue
- Alan: You know who's not getting my food? You, Alex.
- Alex: Do you know how much history I've given you?
- Alan: You didn't even do any of 'em.
- Jamie: You've been sending him my history?!
- Alex: (waves hand at Jamie) That's not the point. The point is you owe me, Alan.
- Jamie: Alan owes me!
- "Tomorrow's the last period of the year, y'all." -Chris, on the last day of school
- "Oh my God, you're gonna go out with Michael with onion breath? You're so unattractive." -Iesl
- "Godzilla vs. Toothpick." -Kevin, while sparring with Tae
- "Dang, even your butt's hard." -Tae, to Kevin
- dialogue
- Jamie: Alex is in Costa Rica.
- Me: Why is he always going to Hispanic countries?
- Bailey: He's going back to his homeland.
- dialogue
- Alex M.: Alexis, what are you doing in higher level bio?
- Alexis: (looks around) I'm not in higher level bio— Oh, wait! Yes, I am!
- "Kelsey said she wants to be the surrogate mother of monkeys." -Anna
- "I'm gonna start thinking in Morgan Freeman's voice." -Matt
- dialogue
- Trevor: Is it handwritten?
- Emily: No, it's on paper.
- Trevor: They're all on paper.
- "Mejía wasn't up for the block vote, so I told her I was just compulsively reading off names." -McAlister
- "Gynecologist. It's a butt doctor." -Alex
- dialogue
- Ricky: Let's go to Tijuana for lunch.
- Chris: Naw, that's all right. I've got a nice fruit cup.
- dialogue
- Alex M.: I had a dream that all these government buildings all over the world were blowing up.
- Michelle: That's so weird! I had a dream where Washington D.C. blew up.
- Alan: Maybe you guys are subconsciously terrorists.
- dialogue
- Meagan: Isn't falling down the stairs symbolic of sex?
- McAlister: Really bad sex.
- dialogue
- Drake: In today's documentary: Mr. Brielmaier said to put food in the trash.
- Matt: Which he will retrieve later.
- dialogue
- Logan: You said that during Batista's reign, you were looked down upon like dirt, like tierra, because you were a peasant.
- Sarah Z.: (with Cuban accent) Yes.
- Logan: And when Castro came into power, you were still a peasant.
- Sarah Z.: (with Cuban accent) Yes.
- "Should I save my banana for now?" -Michelle
- "Why is she reading War and Peace?" -Matt, referring to Lizzie's art history textbook
- dialogue
- Alan: Did you just take something from my food?
- Jamie: (with back turned) No . . .
- Alan: Well, I hope it was hot and it burned you.
- Me: Yeah, she popped it in her mouth then took it back out.
- Alan: See, that's called karma.
- Jamie: No, it's called delicious.
- dialogue
- Bailey: I can't finish this. Dean?
- Dean: No, I can't.
- Bailey: Come on, don't give me that quitter mentality.
- Dean: No. I can't be that guy.
- dialogue
- ("Heartbreaker Dreammaker Lovetaker" playing in background)
- Alex: You're a heartbreaker, Aaron.
- Will: You broke my heart.
- Alex: And mine.
- "All in." -Aaron
- "I wish I was a good writer. I wanna make you cry." -Yoni, to Ms. Schoene
- dialogue
- Alex: Hey, where'd you get this blue book? Online?
- Ricky: It's red.
- "Roomful of bitches." -Juan, in biology
- "Ivan and Chris are all up in my pineapple." -Michelle
- "Callie, you have really well-defined spirals." -Chris
- dialogue
- Trevor: (singing) I saw Chris's face . . .
- Chris: What?!
- dialogue
- Callie: Ivan! Pull up your pants, seriously!
- Ivan: (stares aghast)
- dialogue
- Michelle: Why were there no trials, then?
- Esther: (as Mao) Because I did not want to hear their complaints.
- dialogue
- Michelle: If you were such an advocate of women's rights, then why did you say, "What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands."
- Esther: (as Mao) Could you repeat my quote?
- Michelle: "What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands."
- Esther: (as Mao) I'm pretty sure that was a sarcastic comment.
- dialogue
- Patrick: There are different levels of bad wordery.
- Matt: It's called diction!
- dialogue
- Catie: Meaning can be lost since you're just looking at the text.
- Emily: Not if you have a webcam! That's what Emily uses!
- Trevor: (bursts out laughing)
- "I only say rofl if I'm really (feigns falling to floor)." -Logan
- dialogue
- McAlister: As someone who is not a fan of mainstream pornography . . .
- Emily: But the underground stuff is okay.
- McAlister: I don't like the degrading stuff. There is feminist pornography like you wouldn't know.
- "If there are closet sluts, we should know about them." -Emily
- "I can't calculate all things in my head. I can't calculate infinity and that's my love for you." -Michael
- "I painted my nails for the first time ever. It looks like I did them with my teeth." -Ellie
- "I don't even know what time I'm supposed to be home. But I'm not going to ask 'cause then she's gonna tell me and I'm gonna be like, 'No.' " -Sofia
- "Is it bad that every time I hear 'Oh my God' I think of that big butt song?" -Sofia
- "My parents don't care about me like yours do." -Margot
- "A common practice for teachers is to get a muzzle for Alex (Reece)." -Anna
- "The deets were pretty ridic." -Alex
- dialogue
- Alexis: I haven't had a burger in years.
- Ricky: Why? Are you like Sagar or something?
- Alex M.: (pets Sagar who moves away) I love making Sagar uncomfortable. I love it!
- "Thank you for helping me, but don't copy me." -Mom, using my sister and me in a lie to get out of an event
- dialogue
- Me: Did you touch his balls?
- Tae: No, I didn't touch anything. (grabs a guy's butt)
- dialogue
- Tae: Kevin, you're so cute.
- Kevin: (nods) You, too.
- "I have a nice butt, right?" -Peter, after Tae pulled his pants down
- "I don't care about other guys. I've got something that's bigger." -Tae, after I claimed other guys have larger hands
- "Isn't my stick big? Isn't the head wide?" -Tae, referring to his lacrosse sticks
- "We had a higher level math study session at Chen's and the only way we could get Sagar to come was if he got a free eggroll, but the only way Alan's parents would give him a free eggroll was to tell them he was homeless. He tried to buy a meal later, but they wouldn't take his money." -Anna
- "How did that (kiss) happen? Was she intoxicated? I don't mean it like that. It's just that I've always had respect for her." -Anna, to Drake
- "I wish I knew what you were saying, Señora." -Meagan, to Sra. Mejía
- "'Quiet's cool flesh... let's sniff and eat it.' I thought that was pretty creative. She wants to sniff and eat it." -Yoni
- "I don't get this game. What's going on?" -Ricky, distressed while watching Egyptian Ratscrew
- dialogue, discussion of Risk
- Ricky: Why would you take over Asia?
- Alex: You're Indian. What do you know? You've never taken over anything.
- Ricky: What are you? You're Mexican!
- "Everyone follow the cripple train~" -Alan, referring to the line of people behind Will on crutches
- "You know how I abbreviate things? Well, in Spanish I asked Ms. Mejía for a dictionay." -Alex
- dialogue
- Ivan: (referring to Yoni, Charlie, Rox) Three stooges back there. They're all Jewish.
- Rox: Huh?
- "This is a difficult poem. I don't think any of us were able to capture the essence of 'After Apple Picking.' We were all able to write something due to Frost's occasional flirtation with coherence." -McAlister
- dialogue
- Meagan: Cheating's wrong, Marina. The Bible says, "Thou shalt not steal—"
- Margaret: Who cares about the Bible?!
- "First you think I'm liberal and now you think I'm rich?" -Jamie
- "I don't know what you have against the Quotient Rule." -Patrick
- "I'm just gonna go back in the closet." -Matt
- dialogue
- Callie: Ivan, stop caressing me with your foot.
- McAlister: Stop caressing his foot with your hip.
- dialogue
- Yoni: (sticks wooden sword in pants)
- McAlister: Yoni now has legal ownership of the sword.
- dialogue
- Hanna: So there can be too much testosterone in the womb and we don't know why? Oh, God.
- Lindsay: Of course all the girls are freaking out and the guys don't care.
- "There's actually an interesting story attached to this. I liked a girl at my church and one day we were watching a movie, so I recited 'Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day?' for her and she basically laughed at me." -Robert
- "'Strifle' isn't a word? I'll just put that and we can find a 'synomyn'." -Iesl
- "PANTS!" -Marina, to Margot
- dialogue
- Michelle: Does anyone have an extra shirt I can wear?
- Alex M.: Why?
- Michelle: I smell like Asian food.
- Alex M.: No, you don't.
- Michelle: No, come near me and it'll waft toward you.
- Alex M.: (approaching) Oh . . .
- "My rear does smile sometimes." -Alan
- dialogue
- Bailey: Now we're closer to the dumpster.
- Jamie: That's where you belong.
- dialogue
- Bailey: Jamie wanted to throw me in the trash earlier.
- Jamie: Bailey . . . I love you. (laughs uncontrollably)
- Bailey: Screw you, Jamie.
- dialogue
- Ivan: Look at Kirsten. (referring to her Colgate hoodie) She likes toothpaste.
- Kirsten: It's a college.
- McAlister: The people there do have nice teeth.
- Ivan: They're sponsored.
- "You're applying to the University of McAlister Gets Money." -McAlister
- "Ms. Wilkes called Christine a ball-buster, but she had to whisper it because she didn't want her actual class to hear." -McAlister
- dialogue
- McAlister: Why is Kirsten F-------- looking at pictures of penises on my computer?
- Kirsten: (embarassed) What?
- McAlister: Maybe I want everyone to know that (louder) Kirsten F-------- is looking at pictures of penises on my computer.
- "I don't think Robert Frost could even write a good commentary on 'After Apple Picking'. (in Frost's voice) In 'After Apple Picking', I, Robert Frost, use diction and that's all I have to say about this poem." -McAlister
- dialogue
- Alan: You are promised by your pimp that you will get paid a lot of money, never go hungry, and that you will always have a roof over your head. One day you solicit a man who turns out to be a police officer and he arrests you.
- Reece: You're still not going hungry and you still have a roof over your head.
- Logan: (roleplaying the prostitute) Yeah, but I'm being raped and not getting paid for it.
- "I thought you were blowing me a kiss." -Aaron, to Sra. Mejía
- "If anybody else walks in, I'm kicking them out." -Helena, during a full house at Bayridge
- "Yay! You're a real person. Aren't you excited?" -Patti, from Olin Library
- dialogue
- Mother: Do I have phantom ass?
- Daughter: No, but I have phantom ass.
- dialogue
- Woman: How long have you been together?
- Girl: Two weeks.
- Woman: And you're already buying him presents?
- Girl: For Christmas!
- Woman: You might not even like him then.
- Girl: Yes, I will.
- Woman: How long did your other relationship last?
- Girl: Two weeks.
- dialogue
- Girl 1: I was about to say it's not even November yet, but—
- Girl 2: It's almost December.
- Girl 1: Yeah.
- "When you read the book, you know he's the hottest guy ever." -Matt, to Mr. Brielmaier about Edward Cullen
- "Who gets drunk at a reasonable hour?" -Ross
- "Studies show depression hits losers the hardest." -McAlister
- "I'm more of a Sunday night kind of writer." -Trevor
- "Deus ex machina: ruining plays since before Christ." -McAlister
- "I think he just man-challenged you." -Chris
- "Please tell the truth. Don't lie." -Jordan, as judge swearing in witnesses
- dialogue
- Jamie: You thought fleece was polyester.
- Alex: No, fleece is from lamb.
- Alan: Sheep!
- Alex: Dammit.
- Alan: A lamb is a sheep.
- Alex: Right.
- "You know it's bad when I feel like the ceilings are short." -Gwynna
- "We're in the shape of a parabola!" -Sonya
- dialogue
- (after Ms. Rushing postponed an essay)
- Ivan: I just jizzed myself.
- Trevor: Dude. Me, too.
- "It smells like something tinted with alcohol. No, wait, that's trash." -Michelle
- "Obsquishyous." -Aaron, mispronouncing “obsequious”
- "Good to know you're practicing your right to bear arms." -McAlister, to Michelle out of dress code in spaghetti straps
jan 19 2008 ∞
apr 25 2010 +