• take the time to get to know know them really well before investing your heart.
• trust is earned. it takes time. if they lie to you and make you doubt their trustworthiness before you've even really started - don't waste your time.
• sometimes losing someone is a blessing in disguise.
• know your dealbreakers. stick to them. do not just tolerate anything.
• if you specifically lay out your boundaries to someone, and they continue to cross those boundaries - they do not have any respect for you.
• if they have photos or videos of an ex still, they are not over them. you do not deserve to be a rebound.
• if they talk about their ex a lot, they still think about them a lot.
• if something they are doing triggers feelings of insecurity, like you feel you need to go through their phone, baby please walk away as soon as possible.
• without trust, there's absolutely no reason to continue.
• do not doubt your intuition. we have it for a reason. it is there to help us.
• people don't lie and cheat on people they truly love.
• we tend to model adult relationships after ones we experienced in our childhood. this leads people into toxic relationships at times. try therapy. don't repeat the patterns. you don't have to.
• you deserve to be with someone who puts you at ease, makes you feel safe and secure with them. to feel happy, loved, handsome/beautiful, trusted, sexy, cared for, spoiled, and treated right by the person you are with.
• if they are emotionally abusive - leave. ASAP.
• if they are physically abusive - leave. ASAFP. and consider filing a police report.
• DON'T CONTINUE TO SEE SOMEONE WHO DISREGARDS YOU AND/OR MISTREATS YOU!!!
• one of the biggest lessons i had to learn was to go very slowly and to promptly walk away when things go awry.
  • people know what they are doing when they treat you with disregard and because it is intentional, you need to intentionally get away from them because they are only going to ever bring you down from that point on.
  • i wish i could say people change and they'll be better... but big sister advice, they never do.

i stayed in a very unhappy and unhealthy relationship because i had no one else. i was abused on the regular, but he convinced me his mistreatment was my own fault. that if i only acted the way he wanted me to act, everything would be fine. it took me a year of crying myself to sleep to finally leave and it was the best decision i could have made for myself. why did i stay? low self-esteem, not having any other friends, and emotional manipulation.

• only have sex when both people involved are ready and wanting it. never any other time.
• relationships are hard. even if both people really do care about each other, sometimes incompatibility is too hard to ignore. sometimes that happens, and it's sad, but letting go is the best thing to do.
• overall, relationships should be like a friendship where you both enjoy being together and it's happy. when it's not happy, you feel like a team who can get through any problems together. i hope you find that. and sometimes working on your education or career comes first to secure a future and there's nothing wrong with that.
• love when you're ready not when you're lonely. and take your time.