AKA the only person I would ever marry.

Warning: DOES NOT EXIST

Randomly popped into my head in a parking lot. Odd. The first two are part of the original parking lot list, the rest are add-ons as I go about my day each day. Don't think I am a bitch from this list.

• He has to appreciate the Smiths as much as I do.
• He has to have some sort of creative hobby.
  • But if we share the same creative hobby he has to be way better at it than me.
• He would make me want to go outside, explore, and be social.
  • but be just as content having a lazy day at home watching movies in bed, cuddling and eating pizza.
• He would make me want to get up early and get dressed and go running and would be more than willing to get up early and run with me.
  • or hit snooze for me, sleep in and eat dessert for breakfast.
• He will understand when I go to bed early with a stomach ache
  • and will cuddle me until I fall asleep.
• He won't mind when I go to sleep at sunrise.
• He won't get frustrated when I ask retarded questions, or say "I don't know what my question is" because I am fucking awful at expressing myself.
• He will go on great adventures with me.
• He will just sit and waste time with me.
• He will love all of the conflicting parts of my personality.
• He wouldn't mind that I talk more as I get sleepy, so if we share a bed I would talk to him until I fell asleep.
• He would make out, nothing else, as if it was better than sex.
• He would help me learn how to use chop sticks. Without laughing.
  • And order the chop stick helpers like they are for him, not me.
• He would understand that I need a lot of space for my giant tea collection.
• He will appreciate my tea kettle
  • And not tell me to just use the microwave
• He will drive.
• He wouldn't get frustrated or annoyed at my nervousness in the passenger seat.
  • Or my back-seat driving.
• He would be patient when asking me to read maps.
• He will let me fall asleep to a Jeremy Davies movie.
• He will do really bad accents with me.
• He will love my crude, crass, tactless, morbid sense of humour.
• He will let me take Polaroids of him while he is sleeping.
• He will have a way with words.
  • about mundane things and sorts
• He will understand how to care for an introvert
• He will understand, forgive, and care for my self destructive ways.
• He would cheer me up when I feel down for no reason.
  • Or at least try
• He will hold me when I am clingy and give me space when I need it
• He will understand my "I WANT A BABY!" phases.
  • And my "wow, I am never having children" phases.
• He won't mind my avoidance of time.
• He will kill the spiders and scary bugs.
  • And won't laugh too hard when I spray one to death with whatever is near to spray.
  • Or when I apologize profusely while doing it.
• He won't read my blog(s).
• He will kiss the boo-boos.
• He will sit/lay on the floor and listen to my records with me.
• He will have a bed that does not squeak.
• He won't belch. Ever.
• He won't make fun of Anthony Green or John Gourley
  • "He sings like a girl" won't pass his lips!
• He will cuddle me in the morning when I've had a bad nightmare.
• He will read to me when I can't sleep.
• He will not drive drunk.
• He will be open minded.
• He will smell nice.
• He will listen to WHY?
  • Or at least not make the disgusted look of disbelief my dad makes when he hears WHY?
• He will do yoga
  • I dunno about this one, I've never met a guy who practices yoga. Seems like a good idea but who knows