• wrapping presents: silver, gold, pink, sea foam green, black and white

• Christmas shopping
• glossier
• cat eye
• Amazon Fire
• 'arcane taste'
• rose gold
• Nest 'Holiday' candle

• Bob's Burgers
• Game of Thrones
• ponytail
• hair: Davines, Oribe

• Agent Carter
• MAC's Ruby Woo
• dark red nail polish
• Downton Abbey
• Ab Fab
• Girls
• Robyn- Dancing On My Own

• summer -> fall
  • light & bright nail polish/ tan skin
  • sandals, turquoise
  • reading by the pool
• chamomile lavender tea; mug with little green flowers
• shoe shopping

• library
• pre-ordering books: Murakami, Mindy Kaling, Jonathan Franzen, David Mitchell

• Claudia Cardinale
• hot pink nail polish
• Elle Woods
• straight hair
• Veronica Mars for the millionth time

• skincare: mario badescu's rose hips mask, vitamin c serum
• cookouts
• sunburn

• joan didion's favorite books
• joan didion's proust questionnaire
• skincare: estee lauder's advanced night repair; glossier's mega greens galaxy pack, moisturizing moon mask

• spring clothes, strappy heels
• pale lipgloss
• driving
• glossy nails
• crest whitestrips
• shimmery highlighters

• long hair
• It's a lifestyle. It's a religion.
  • Gilmore girls is on Netflix
  • Better Call Saul
  • Electra Woman and Dyna Girl
  • Bewitched; I Dream of Jeannie
  • The Donna Reed Show
• Grey Gardens
• Crazy Heart soundtrack

• jewelry: long earrings, hoop earrings, dainty bracelets, beaded necklaces
• long bright nails
• high heels

• get a tattoo
• read 60 books

• loose pigments/ shimmer/ highlighters
• Kate Bush
• julian casablancas+the voidz
• Madam Butterfly

• binge-watching The Simpsons; eating Twizzlers
• nail wraps
• David Bowie

• makeup!
  • liquid lip stains
  • eyeshadow
  • xovain
• long shiny nails
• jewel-toned shimmery metallic colors
• halloween candy
• Shark Tank
• knitting

• highlighting my hair
• trying to grow out my nails a teeny tiny bit
• birthday traditions: Marie Antoinette, Breakfast at Tiffany's, coffee, Tiffany blue polish
• sheer tights
• buying impractical bras and underwear

• Kill Bill + Quentin Tarantino soundtracks
• parting my hair to the left
• hoop earrings
• leggings
• ballet

• hair, etc
• blue flowers
• L.A.M.F.

• funky french manicures
• "You and Me"
• Gilmore girls i.e. reading like Rory

• gardenia soap
• Joan Didion's California
• getting my autodidact on
• french braids
• '60s summer
• reading and rereading all of Joan Didion
• lavender laundry
• reading in the sun
• Mary Oliver
• bright pink and red polish
• sunbathing
• notebooks

• spring cleaning
• quilts
• shampoo that smells like candy
• baseball season
• new dresses
• nude nail polish
• final season of Mad Men
• a bracelet
• beautiful greeting cards
• starting my garden

• pink tulips
• Cosmos revamp w/ Neil deGrasse Tyson

• tea with raw honey
• poppy seed bagels
• coffee coffee coffee
• Gilmore girls
• Coursera
• cherry lipbalm

• eyeliner
• elastic ribbon hair ties
• book plates/ ex libris
• blue and green hair ribbons
• red or pink or pale nails
• blush
• apricot scrub
• making lists for the year
• little heart-shaped earrings
• reading Jane Austen (pending)
• old Michelle Williams interviews
• reading Anna Karenina (big winter novels)

• rap god
• The Walking Dead
• christmas socks
• new bras
• small gold post earrings

• sohpie dahl
• dangling earrings
• hockey
• Buffy blonde
• yummy smelling hair oils and leave-ins
• back to lighting candles, wearing socks
• red nail polish

• chamomile lavender tea
• taking Prison Break breaks from schoolwork
• The Future is Unwritten soundtrack
• possible Veronica Mars movie (??!!!)
• The Strokes' new album
• lectures

• read 75 books
• develop healthier habits (eating, sleeping, relaxing, etc.)
• take up running, yoga, ballet, etc.
• write more letters/ send more packages
• practice piano oftener
• learn more about politics, government, economics, medicine, psychology, theology
• volunteer
• read the first four volumes of The Search for Lost Time

• Remember what is was to be me: that is always the point.
• I have as much trouble as the next person with illusion and reality
• Is he smart/ She yes very smart sees right through me/ In my day we valued blindness rather more
• never a thought came but that other followed
• yellow braid down her back
• Water is something you cannot hold. Like men. I have tried.
• wrapped myself in my bedspread and read until two a.m., smoked too many cigarettes and regretted, like a student, only their cost
• I would write five pages, return all calls, lunch on raisins

• I could hear my heels clicking on the marble. I could hear the young woman in the black taffeta dinner dress drumming her lacquered fingernails on the table at which she sat.
• the women in silk shirts and Chanel necklaces and Charles Jourdan suede pumps
• John Wayne: A Love Song
• the weary kind
• I know something about dread myself and appreciate the elaborate systems with which some people manage to fill the void
• You are the man that ruined her world.

• the legend of the angry blonde
• throw the match, set the past ablaze
• each the other's world entire.
• A sapphire on her brow should bind; To bring her joy and peace of mind
• "Often I fantasize about flashing my fangs at the brothers, just to keep them in line."
• she would sing while I was weeping/ if I listened she would cease

• nobody, baby, but you and me
• She liked his eyes. They were blue, deep set, frightening.
• What hurts so bad about youth isn’t the actual butt whippings the world delivers. It’s the stupid hopes playacting like certainties.
• Although he doesn't know it yet, she isn't his real life. But he is hers. This is painful.
• Try to let what is unfair teach you.
• Solitude: a sweet absence of looks.
• I love the girl with golden hair, and the Tennessee stud loves the Tennessee mare
• apocalypse: a veil lifted
• will you take me as I am: strung out on another man
• Boys are fox-teeth in your heart.
• "Your débutante just knows what you need, but I know what you want"

• Of course they knew each other, understood each other, recognized each other, took one look and got each other, had to be with each other, saw the color drain out of what they saw when they were not looking at each other.
• "Pharoah" means "the greatest household" in ancient Egyptian
• But still she didn't approach Frank, nor did he approach her, despite their keen awareness of each other.
• How is it possible that everyone does not still speak of your love? What has happened since then that is more remarkable?
• But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.

• so we do not lose heart
• Those days were now behind her, but they were still part of who the executive intern was.
• one look at him and she had found a world completely new
• I have been keeping notes for some time about the way Jack Lovett waited for Inez Victor.
• My man's got a heart like a rock cast in the sea
• For some things there are no wrong seasons. Which is what I dream of for me.
• Quiet as a feather.
• Stillness. One of the doors into the temple.

• remember when I moved in you/ and the holy dove was moving, too?
• watch, o Lord, with those who wake, watch, or weep tonight
• moments that were strung together like beads on a thread
• "I don't fucking care if you like it."
• the right wrong person- someone you lovingly gaze upon and think: 'this is the problem I want to have.'
• Jack Lovett would still only look at Inez.
• "Anyway we were together," she said. "We were together all our lives. If you count thinking about it."
• Colors, moisture, heat, enough blue in the air. Four fucking reasons.

• The Ice Man gazed into my eyes and gave what looked like a faint smile. Or was it? Had he really smiled?
• I loved books so much that it was kind of consuming
• that name which, at the moment I heard it, seemed to me more massive than any other name because it was heavy with all the times I had uttered it beforehand in my mind.
• sometimes it felt like there was a part of me inside him that I ached to get to
• "Making something out of nothing," she added. "I've always liked that phrase."
• She's sensitive, too. Takes to hurt the way water takes to paper.
• The question of self-pity.
• lonely and resistant rearrangers of things, anxious malcontents
• Fastness: a protected place between two rocks

• Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.
• There's this Joan Didion quote about being afflicted from an early age with a presentiment of loss.
• Did I come into the world like that? Or was I kind of gifted that?
• wouldn't you love to love her?
• The morning air is all awash with angels.
• in case you ever foolishly forget; I'm never not thinking of you
• seeing her as one sees the sun, without looking
• "You know that I am going in order to be where you are."
• there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts

• why didn't you come back, didn't you know I was praying for rain?
• pellucid blue
• Natural to want to break some fucker's head. Miriam thought, I had fists like theirs, I'd feel the same way.
• If Jordan Catalano is, like, nearby, my entire body knows it.
• faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
• ...and not as a stranger
• Someday, somewhere, I will see this scene, I felt.

• not the beautiful young girl in bed with them, who gives them that , and then awakens in the morning to write upper case poems about ANGELS AND GOD.
• kid, I wrote back, all lovers betray.
• my kind's your kind
• She laughs, pulls at the nameplate around her neck.
• Any woman who laughs as dope as she does won't ever have trouble finding men.
• I tell her that and she looks a little scared of me.
• and I'm thinking how easy it would be for her to turn around and say, Hey, let's go home. I'd put my arm around her and I wouldn't let her go for like fifty years, maybe not ever.
• TVs snapping on in nearby apartments, squeezing ten voices into a room.
• God blesses the ground that drinks the rain.

• What makes Iago evil? Some people ask. I never ask.
• bits of the mind's string too short to use
• sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed
• There are too many of us and we are too far apart.
• Love you? I am you.
• this is water, this is water
• she's so very
• You got those long eyelashes that make me want to cry, she says. How could anybody hurt a man with eyelashes like this?
• this the nightmare you wake screaming from: being forever in the pre-trembling of a house that falls.
• The last blackbird lights up his gold wings: farewell.
• the wages of dying is love

• Gurumayi
• nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
• The heart is half a prophet.
• Hi, my name is not Lance, and I am not an addict.
• Panamanian moon
• the best definition of man is this: a creature who walks on two legs and is ungrateful
• Everything now is 'was'.
• "The library, and step on it."
• Everything is a sign and all signs are good.
• the four noble truths
• the stars we are given. the constellations we make.
• "Someday you will," she said lazily. "Someday it all comes."
• an instinct for reality which I sometimes envy but do not possess

• The words fill my head and fall to the floor
• This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready to break my heart
• I am no bird; and no net ensnares me
• "here I am, here I am, here I am" and "so glad you are, so glad you are, so glad you are"
• laughter of green gems
• Black Marigolds
• amo amas amat amanus amatis amant amavi amavisti amavit amavimus amavistis amaverunt amavero amaveris amaverit
• the secret of the universe, do not whatever you do forget it
• fastness
• It is the blight man was born for/ It is Margaret you mourn for
• Dear Future Generations: Please Accept Our Apologies. We Were Rolling Drunk On Petroleum.

• Na'aseh v'nishma--we will do and we will hear
• being forever in the pre-trembling of a house that falls
• neshama
• For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.
• it goes on.
• the holy or the broken
• Goodbye ole paint, I'm a leavin' Cheyenne
• I may be rancid butter, But I'm on your side of the bread.
• He, too, was a lightning bug. He glowed; I glowed back.
• I lie like land used up
• your rose-meow smile
• an orchard where the harvest fills the stars
• The Andrew Carnegie of Trout!

• Santa Monica
• Theseus
• field of stone
• Land of Enchantment
• "Once I loved a man who was a lot like the desert, and before that I loved the desert."
• All shall be well, and all shall be well
• I have heard this music before, saith the body. - At the Edge of the Ocean
• the Zuni; turtles as the spirits of the dead returned
• "In dreams, nothing is lost."
• if death comes so cheap/ then the same goes for life
• Durga, Sarasvatī, Shakti, Lakshmi, Jagaddhatri
• Romeo Rodriguez/ squares his shoulders and curses Jesus
• Sisyphean

• "Gee, isn't it great to have a lovely tall, pretty little, small daughter like that, it's really wonderful."
• Cursed, like I am cursed. Sleeping, like I sleep. Tear-flooded and fever-scorched, quaking and bloodied with nightmares
• blue hearts and yellow birds
• palm trees whispering windsongs about a tortured, gleaming city
• 3-D postcards
• Bluebeard
• silk dresses with silver sari trim, pearled camisoles, lace nightgowns, ruby earrings, and French perfume
• electric blue frosting
• Ganesha
• shul (Tibetan)
• psyche- the butterfly/ the soul
• a wild thing
• Audubon
• Demeter and Persephone

• niña bruja
• Ah, but Mary there's a summer drawing to an end tonight
• All I'm tryin' to say is get back, click clack, pow
• Future Sailors
• They got a APB out on my Thug family
• Give the crack to the kids, who the hell cares? One less hungry mouth on the welfare.
• Mama, Jimmy keeps leaving on us, he said he'd be back, he pinky-promised, I don't think he's honest
• Teeny plays the radio too loud and bites her nails, wondering if the glitter polish will poison her.
• What a lark! What a plunge!
• What time are we upon and where do I belong?
• rose white and rose red

• Deep calls to deep.
• I saw what love might have done had we loved in time.
• Parshat Ha'azinu
• יָ֣סֶךְ בְּאֶבְרָתֹ֨ו וְתַֽחַת־ כְּנָפָ֣יו תֶּחְסֶ֑ה
• There is a crack, a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.
• we're all in a rush/ to find a lover's touch/ and when it's found/ you wonder why it meant so much
• Spread love, it's the Brooklyn way.
• Nuns on the Bus
• St Vincent de Paul
• Marigold, Rose-Scented Geranium, Borage
• "loneliness attacking my cells like a disease"
• holidays on ice
• My Body, The Hand Grenade

• Our Lady of Perpetual Astonishment
• Sisyphean
• Hammurabi's Code
• Howard Moss
• Diane, I'm holding in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies.
• aepyornis
• Daniel. Even the lions like him.
• The Pleasures of the Damned
• ...afflicted apparently at birth with some presentiment of loss.
• Are you from Paris, mister?
• I'll be in the lobby drinking for two.
• "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."
• asclepius; caduceus

• The Gay Divorcee
• Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
• The Philadelphia Story
• Star Trek Into Darkness
• The Way We Were
• All the President's Men
• Gentleman Prefer Blondes
• Marathon Man
• The Dark Knight Rises
• Antichrist
• Casablanca
• The Producers
• The Princess Bride
• Avengers: Age of Ultron
• Best in Show
• Raging Bull
• Crazy Heart
• Apocalypse Now
• Sharknado
• I Married a Witch

• 2000 Year Old Man
• 2001: A Space Odyssey
• A Star is Born (Babs)
• A Star is Born (Janet)
• All About Eve
• All the President’s Men
• American in Paris
• An Affair to Remember
• An Inconvenient Truth (7x08)
• Animal House (1x05)
• Apocaplypse Now
• Arthur (2x19)
• Basic Instinct (2x22)
• Ben Hur (2x10, 3x05)
• Billy Jack (2x04, 3x19)
• Boogie Nights (1x07)
• Brigadoon (2x22)
• Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (6x05)
• Bringing Up Baby (2x09)
• Brokeback Mountain (6x16)

She's intellectual and small and gentle and sweet and not vicious or nasty or putting up some front, just full of kindness and wonder.

• Ada - Nabokov
• Possession - AS Byatt
• Inherent Vice - Thomas Pynchon
• Anna Karenina - Tolstoy
• The Brothers Karamazov - Dostoevsky
• Swann's Way - Proust
• Absolam, Absolam! - Faulkner
• The Crying of Lot 49 - Thomas Pynchon
• Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
• The Sound and the Fury - Faulkner
• Bad Behavior - Mary Gaitskill
• Empire Falls - Richard Russo
• Awakenings - Oliver Sacks
• Twilight of the Elites - Chris Hayes
• Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

Joan Didion:

• ✔ Run, River
• ✔ Play It As It Lays
• ✔ A Book of Common Prayer
• ✔ Democracy
• ✔ The Last Thing He Wanted
• ✔ Slouching Towards Bethlehem
• ✔ The White Album
• ✔ Salvador
• ✔ Miami
• ✔ After Henry
• Political Fictions
• ✔ Where I Was From
• ✔ The Year of Magical Thinking
• ✔ Blue Nights

Zadie Smith:

• ✔ White Teeth
• ✔ Autograph Man
• ✔ On Beauty
• ✔ NW

• One More Thing by BJ Novak
• The Guermantes Way by Proust
• Sodom and Gomorrah by Proust
• Hallucinations by Oliver Sacks
• The Sound of Things Falling by Vásquez
• The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion
• Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty

• jane eyre
• edie: an american biography
• a thousand mornings- mary oliver
• the bell jar
• a moveable feast- hemingway
• suite française
• and the hippos were boiled in their tanks- burroughs and kerouac
• cat's cradle
• the human stain- philip roth
• the virgin suicides
• the unbearable lightness of being
• lolita
• a field guide to getting lost