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- you always talk about how you're so ~indie~, but really, you just listen to 21 pilots and the 1975.
- people who think they are different and unique for liking Led Zeppelin
- you hate cats.
- you hate reading.
- you have bad hygiene.
- you say you're a writer, but really, you just write thinly-veiled versions of your life where you wish you were Kerouac.
- you interrupt me like all the time. Rude rude rude.
- you ask me what every third word I say is.
- you're snobby about something you are "passionate" about.
- you're a mega right-wing conservative Republican.
- you're pro-life.
- you're a Bible beater and/or obnoxious atheist.
- you say you're a vegetarian, but really, you just eat Boca burgers for every meal.
- Which btw is REALLY UNHEALTHY and you need to stop.
- you hate cooking and only eat fast food / take-out.
- you don't get sarcasm, and you take self-deprecating / weird sarcastic statements of mine seriously.
- you try too hard to be funny or deep.
- you think you're sooooo funny for making fun of "stupid Starbucks drinks"
- you act like a different person around different groups of people in a way that doesn't make sense.
- you claim to be an expert on something you actually know nothing about.
- My particular topic berserk button is when non-journo people try to talk about print media and the state of journalism, because they are always wrong, no matter what.
- you do the "I'm sad but I won't tell you why I'm sad" act
- you make passive aggressive tweets / fb statuses all the time
- These last two points kind of go hand in hand.
- you rely on ESPN, Buzzfeed or Fox for news.
- you constantly whine about food and go on sketchy diets all the time.
- you act like a completely different person around the opposite sex so they'll like you.
- You start the majority of the drama in your life.
- You put “Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry” as the school you go to on Facebook.
- your only hobbies are Netflix, video games and watching sports.
- You constantly talk about weed.
- Especially if you don't even do it.
- you say that you were "born in the wrong generation"
- ever notice that it's only white people who say this?
- you have a really bad habit of either re-hashing tv shows that I have no interest in watching or telling "you had to be there" stories
- you're one of those people who refuses to try Chipotle because it's "not real Mexican food". It's not supposed to be...? It's fine if you don't like it, but people act like babies about it.
- You use punchlines from TV shows in place of original situational humor.
- You know someone's preferred pronouns and you still misgender them.
- You think that trans women aren't "real women" or that trans men aren't "real men"
- you think cis is a slur
- you think rape victims are "sluts" and somehow responsible for what happened to them
- You believe reverse racism and misandry actually exist.
- You worship Ayn Rand and other atrocious political figures.
- You shit on someone's relationship when you know next to nothing about it.
- You're a white person who thinks twerking is like the funniest thing in the world.
- You have no interest in meeting my friends and family and I only exist in the vacuum that is our relationship.
- you are a dude with long fingernails. Yuck.
- you're passive-aggressive. Fuck that trait and fuck you.
- you don't have a driver's license and you're not resourceful about getting around.
- I dated a guy for a long time who didn't have a license, but he rode his bike or used the bus system like 90% of the time.
- you have a bunch of weird ex-related drama that somehow affects me??? gurl plz
- you hate the show Drag Race. Acquire some taste!
- You are a STEM major who will not shut up about how much money you'll make in the future and how liberal arts / mass comm students are stupid.
- You turn into a raging shithead when you go to restaurants, and treat anyone and everyone who works there like lesser beings and tip next to nothing.
- You only like things you consider intellectual and deep. How boring.
- "I really like deep and philosophical conversations." - code for "I'm a boring asshole"
- you think I'm like a ~*manic pixie dream girl*~ and only like me because you think I'm qUiRkY
- you flaunt how "intelligent" you are or how high your GPA is or what college you go to.
- you're out of high school and you still brag about your SAT score
- Hates social media (Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, etc.) with every bone in their body and thinks phones are Ruining Our Children
- Hates when people take pictures of their food at restaurants. Dumbest thing to get mad about.
- Thinks that ppl talking about astrology equals the end of the god damn world.
- you are a picky eater. I'll respect your boundaries, but that's not going to work for me.
- you hate going outdoors. I'm not even particularly outdoorsy but what the hell.
- you have a gross beard / poorly cared-for facial hair.
- you try really hard to have an ~edgy~ and ~offensive~ persona and use slurs all the time.
- you argue just to argue, play devil's advocate for a cause that does not need one and / or have no real point at all. I don't have time or energy for that.
- you talk about sex all the time and only want in my pants.
- You think sexist / racist / etc. jokes are funny.
- You make assumptions about the lives of poor people.
- You feel entitled to everything.
- you are legally an adult, but you talk to 15 year old girls like they are a potential new girlfriend.
- you don't have any life goals or ambitions and just want to mooch off people for the rest of your life.
- You don't have a backbone.
- You think the world is out to get you.
- You don't know how to do anything for yourself.
- You think your incompetence is cute.
- You don't know how to Google things and can't make your own opinions.
- You do things to look cool.
- you refuse to try new things
- you lie a lot about things.
jun 24 2010 ∞
may 24 2017 +
may 24 2017 +