Pros

• such good $
• easy commute
• can live in Oakland
• already well-liked and fit in to some extent; they actually want me
• 0 job apps, searching, or stress in the last 2 quarters- max relaxed
• good experience, even if just in the short term
• can always leave after a few years
• maybe share a cute apt with Sid

Cons

• driving every day
• not a glamorous place/job
• probably a boring job sometimes
• values

10/7/2015

• How can you be so unaware of those around you?
• Motivation is so hard right now. What is wrong with me?
• I think I need 3 solid weeks to do nothing but lie in bed and ~chill~
• ugh, feeling pretty uncomfortable about these new divisions
• All right, big man. You're big.
• I'm a terrible person because I don't feel bad and automatically assume you are exaggerating for show.
• I understand.... but no, I don't. My feelings are pretty hurt, to be honest. And this is just weird.
• Stressed out of my mind about all this planning.
• Getting more exciting!
• Okay, I am just so glad that you exist.
• If I had to choose someone to get into a ...

no matter how many hundreds of times i read or hear these words, their definitions will never, EVER STICK.

• epistemology
• empirical
• ersatz
• ad hoc
• hermeneutics
• normative
• Daft Punk
• schadenfreude
• mutually exclusive
• dogwhistle
• non sequiter

• olives
• heavy cream (sigh)
• raw milk
• pickled jalapenos
• salmon
• eggs benedict
• huevos rancheros
• paneer
• black chai tea
• coconut oil
• clementines
• grapefruits
• dark stouts/ales
• garlic
• risotto
• beets
• red onions
• shallots
• capers
• sundried tomatoes
• sweet potatoes done savory

• If you asked me to draw a picture of myself I’d draw two. One would be a portrait of a happy, self-confident, regular-looking woman and the other would be a close-up of a giant gaping mouth that’s ravenous for love. Many days I have to silently say to myself: It’s okay. You are loved. You are loved even if some people don’t love you. Even if some people hate you. You are okay even if sometimes you feel slighted by your friends or you sent your kids to school someplace that someone else would not send her kid or you wrote something that riled up a bunch of people. your invisible inner terrible someone
• We don’t know—as a culture, as a gender, as individuals, you and I. The fact that we don’t know is feminism’s one true failure. We claimed the agency, we granted ourselves the authority, we gathered the accolades, but we never stopped wor...__tiny revolutions__

• the man who returned two empty bags of cheetos at CVS
• the time mom SCREAMED bloody murder in ohio
• toxic sludge eggs
• couponing at CVS-- customers demanding payment, pushing their way through closed doors, etc
• satyriasis in my bookmarks
• "gonna sign up for obamacare when it comes out"
• tom petty and dad in the Buick driving to Philly
• grinding w/ying yang twins
• cocaine spoons
• escort life
• financial domination$

• teardrops on my guitar
• all too well
• picture to burn
• should've said no
• we are never ever getting back together
• you belong with me
• stay stay stay
• begin again
• 22
• mean
• better than revenge
• forever and always

• pizza dough
• whole wheat flax bread
• chickpea curry
• black bean chili
• sweet potato, chard, bleu cheese torte
• spaghetti squash casserole
• mr. criqui's chili
• pigeon pea curry
• sweet potato &chard curry
• black bean burgers
• chickpea salad
• beet/goatcheese/arugula sandwiches
• potato cheddar soup
• broccoli cheddar soup
• cheddar maranescu soup
• hamburger&hotdog buns
• cheese bread
• basic tomato sauce
• caramel pecan cheesecake
• Vegan red lentil sloppy joes
• vegan pot pie

• on casual dating: ‎"listen, all you have to do is go out and eat some chicken--with some rice on the side--and hope that you make fun of the same things. and if you don't, then you say, 'i'm sorry, but we don't make fun of the same things, seeya,' and you leave."
• on how to tell someone you just are not interested: ‎"Listen, we ate some fuckin pizza and jumped on some trampolines, and you know what? i just don't think you're my life partner."
• on definition of a date: ‎"A date is anything where two people hang out and it's not just because they want to eat pizza together."
• "people are like subway sandwiches. they taste different but they're all the same at the end of the day."
• "when you don't feel like dieting anymore, just get married."

• Old bureaucrat, my comrade, it is not you who are to blame. No one ever helped you to escape. You, like a termite, built your peace by blocking up with cement every chink and cranny through which the light might pierce. You rolled yourself up into a ball in your genteel security, in routine, in the stifling conventions of provincial life, raising a modest rampart against the winds and the tides and the stars. You have chosen not to be perturbed by great problems, having trouble enough to forget your own fate as man. You are not the dweller upon your errant planet and do not ask yourself questions to which there are no answers. You are a petty bourgeois of Toulouse. Nobody grasped you by the shoulder while there was still time. Now the clay of which you were shaped has hardened, and naught in you will even quake the sleeping musician, the poet, the a...

• i don't consider myself a real peeper--they go in for bedrooms, but it's families in sitting rooms or kitchens that thrill me. i can imagine their entire lives from a glimpse of bookshelves, or desks, or lit candles, or bright sofa cushions.
• i can't think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone i can't talk to, or worse, someone i can't be silent with.
• i wonder how the book got to Guernsey? perhaps there is some secret sort of homing instinct in books that brings them to their perfect readers.
• i could never marry a man whose idea of bliss was to strike out at little balls or little birds.
• Am I in love with him? What kind of question is that? It's a tuba among flutes, and I expect better of you. The first rule of snooping is to come at it sideways--wh...

• rainer maria rilke
• madeleine is sleeping- sarah shun-lien bynum
• psyche- louis couperus
• words for empty and words for full- bob hicok
• kenneth koch
• more douglas coupland
• food politics
• EVERYTHING vandana shiva
• The Bill from my Father- Cooper
• Journey into the Whirlwind- Ginzburg
• ENCYCLOPEDIA OF AN ORDINARY LIFE- ROSENTHAL
• Cakewalk: a memoir- moses
• half a life- strauss
• nox- anne carson
• the orange eats creeps- grace kilanovich
• light boxes- shane jones
• vanishing and other stories- deborah jones

• those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.

Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are cultivated. For these there is hope.

• There is no such thing as an immoral book.

Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.

• All art is quite useless.
• It is silly of you, for there is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
• But beauty, real beauty, ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face.

• when CVS calls (yes, they are obviously calling to say, "hey um yeah we saw you stealing those bobby pins the other day, so don't bother coming in today, because you're fired.")
• when people call in general and i'm not expecting it (something bad has happened/they are mad/i'm in trouble.)
• voicemails (just about every imaginable scenario goes through my mind and GODDAMMIT IT TAKES SO LONG TO GO THROUGH MY SAVED VOICEMAILS.)
• driving in town (crash crash crash crash crash)
• stink bugs
• when I text Mohamed and he doesn't immediately respond (his parents found it and know everything and he is handcuffed on his way to the airport.)

• People tend to stick to their own size group because it's easier on the neck. Unless they are romantically involved, in which case the size difference is sexy. It means: I am willing to go the distance for you. (shared patio)
• Do you have doubts about life? Are you unsure if it is worth the trouble? Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person's face as you pass on the street: those faces are for you. And the street itself, and the ground under the street, and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you. They are as much for you as they are for other people. Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing. Stand up and face the east. Now praise the sky and praise the light within each person under the sky. It's okay to be unsure. But praise, praise, praise. (shared patio)

• cat stomachs/feet
• season changes
• laundry
• lavender
• essential oils
• lemons
• tomato plants

• pretentious
• precarious
• dissonant
• oxford
• july
• june
• clementine
• procure

• If I've told you these details about Asteroid B-612 and if I've give you its number, it is on account of the grown-ups. Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?" They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him. If you tell grown-ups, "I saw a beautiful red brick house, with geraniums at the windows and doves on the roof...," they won't be able to imagine such a house. You have to tell them, "I saw a house worth a hundred thousand francs!" Then they exclaim, "What a pretty house!" So if you tell them: "The proof of the little prince's existence is that h...

• it is not as terrible as surrounding towns (aka berwick, danville, orangeville, millville)
• main street is pretty nice and clean (fountain<33) ESPECIALLY IN WINTER.
• the schools are decent (as opposed to schools in the surrounding areas)
• no gangs w000 (lol lasalle street)
• lol phil gave the police cameras.
• AMAZING backroads.
• cheaper gas/property/houses
• the bloomsburg fair
• kidsburg/town park
• balling to: Jp's, Joe's barber shop, Giant, DUNKIN DOUGHNUTS, wal mart at 2am (entering in the food side past 11p=guaranteed laugh whenever you need one), panera, espy park
• 2874 old berwick road 7846484
• nighttime bike rides
• the farmer's market

• Knives or other kitchen essentials (Aunt Michelle and Uncle Lenny)
• Hiking boots (Dad?)
• New glasses/new prescription (Mom?)
• Rucksack No. 21 Mini backpack
• One new pair of all-purpose shoes (ugh)

Studio

• Community profile
  • Read Zoning Code
  • Read Santa Maria CP
  • Mirror a lot of SM for LG for Land Use
  • Combine team stuff into word document and submit by friday @ 5pm

Policy

• Reading summary (by Monday)
• Assignment #2 (Start)
• Reading summary due 10/26

Research

• Meet w/Boswell to start climate stuff (Tuesday?)
• Do Kelly stuff (figure out how the hell this will happen)

Other Stuff

• "I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food."
• netflix
• "looking for a partner-in-crime"
• "looking for someone for my next adventure"
• "I'm like ron swanson + _____"
• poly
• "ask if you wanna know"
• the most private thing i'm willing to admit "is that i'm okcupid"
• "heh heh i love how everyone here says they're not looking for a hookup..liars..."
• "no drama"
• "don't swipe right if you're not gonna chat"
• 6' 3"
• spontaneity
• flame emoji tree emoji smoke emoji
• "swipe left if you're..."

• did you know that if a woman existed at Barbie body proportions, SHE WOULD DIE???????????????????????????????????
• Jesus was Jewish

• geography of opportunity

• New Yorker Fiction
  • Jonathan Lethem reads VS Pritchett -- "The Rescue"
  • David Sedaris reads Miranda July -- "Roy Spivey"
  • Louise Erdrich reads Joyce Carol Oates -- "Mastoff"
  • Donald Antrim reads Denis Johnson -- "Work"
  • Gary Shteyngart reads Lorrie Moore -- "Paper Losses"
  • Hisham Matar reads Jorge Luis Borges -- "Shakespeare's Memory"
  • Lauren Groff reads Alice Munroe -- "Axis"
  • Allegra Goodman reads John Updike -- "A&P"
  • David Means reads Raymond Carver -- "Chef's House"

• "So should we shake on it or just make out now?"
• "You're good people. Don't let the world change that."
• "Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt."

• pg 68

"today, says Hebert, [The US Board on Geographic Names]'s workload consists mostly of hundreds of requests to name things after Ronald Reagan."

• lavender
• tea tree
• orange
• rosemary
• patchouli

Places to visit

• Loyalsock Trail
• Ricketts Glen falls trail
• Catawissa Mountain (TRESPASSING YEAH SO EDGY)
• The farm
• Good Old Days karaoke/$1 pitchers
• Ready-go Burrito
• BBII
• Dramatic Reading of The Press Enterprise
• Benton Winery
• Joe's Barber Shop
• Centralia
• Espy
• JP's
• Walmart (duh)
• Columbia Mall
• Shamokin

nostalgia

• CCSD

• "has anyone ever told you you two look so similar? when you were standing next to each other, i couldn't even tell you apart!"
• kelsey from farm class..yup.
• "HEY BABE"
• "oh, so you're coming to my cheesemaking workshop at 7, right?"

"um..no." "I WAS JUST TALKING TO YOU LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO, THAT WASN'T YOU?"

• "Okay, there is someone in my class who looks EXACTLY like you and i CAN NEVER TELL WHO I AM TALKING TO."
• Jan: "there is someone here who looks just like you!"

yup moral of the story is: i look like everyone at GMC. i should probably change my look. AKA brown hair and glasses.

• "Most of it is about paying attention. You can read all the best books and meet all sorts of people who can teach you a lot, but in the end it's just you in the garden, trying to make sense of it all."
• But it's hard to be narcissistic or nihilistic when wielding a hoe, especially when facing a forest's edge.
• Regardless, I didn't need philosophical or spiritual rationalization for being smitten with the landscape up Tunket Road-- I'd tasted the apples.

• my crazy nan with the most eclectic religious views who did reflexology and raised aloe plants and had giant cacti and ate off of the same plates as her dogs and had weird infatuations with indians and unicorns and elvis presley and touched by an angel and owned a bar and rode horses and dated a CIA agent and had the most dry sense of humour and collected quarters for us and religiously fed the raccoons and the deer in the backyard and always took in any stray animal and made great big ben's soda floats and bought vanilla ice cream in 20 gallon increments and "YOU DON'T SMELL NUTHIN" and yard work and swimming in the pool and cookouts and cats and crazy dogs and riding in the beat up golden van with the red hood and no seats in the back and catching salamanders in the woods and driving fast on the bumpy back road on the way to her house and how i r...

• Can one be so gifted and yet so impervious to the presence of things? It seems one can. Some people are incapable of perceiving in the object of their contemplation the very thing that gives it its intrinsic life and breath, and they spend their entire lives conversing about mankind as if they were robots, and about things as though they have no soul and must be reduced to what can be said about them--all at the whim of their own subjective inspiration.
• If people could climb higher in the social hierarchy in proportion to their incompetence, i guarantee the world would not go round the way it does.
• It would be so much better if we could share our insecurity; if we could all venture inside ourselves and realize that green beans and vitamin C, however much they nurture us, cannot save lives, nor sustai...

• catching salamanders, snakes, helgramites, and tadpoles with my dad.
• raising baby bunnies.
• having seven cats and a bunch of birds.
• mythology, fairy tales, alice in wonderland, the wainscott weasel, the wizard of oz with my mom.
• my crazy nan who did reflexology and raised aloe plants and ate from the same plates as her dogs and loved indians and unicorns and elvis presley and touched by an angel and owned a bar and rode horses and dated a CIA agent and had the most dry, amazing sense of humour and drove a beat up golden van with no seats in the back and collected quarters for us and religiously fed the raccoons and the deer outside and always took in absolutely any stray animal and had a multitude of vitamins.
• walks in the woods.
• riding horses.

• all my friends- LCD soundsystem (dead.)
• the luckiest- ben folds
• the trapeze swinger- iron & wine
• dead man's will- iron & wine
• steadier footing- deathcab
• debate expenses doubt- deathcab (ben plz get sad again and make some more albums like this one k thx bye)
• casimir pulaski day- sufjan
• i hope that i don't fall in love with you- tom waits
• come pick me up- ryan adams
• company calls epilogue- deathcab
• samson- regina spektor
• every single damien rice song on B-sides, O, and 9.
• don't think twice, it's all right- bob dylan
• abandoned love- bob dylan
• THE RIVER- bruce springsteen (terrible.)
• sixteen, maybe less- iron & wine (this is...

• Dallas Buyers Club
• We need to talk about kevin
• Hedwig and the angry inch

Seattle

• Leave SLO and arrive in Oakland, Friday, Nov. 21- Take Sara with me and drop at BART
• Leave Oakland Saturday, Nov. 22- Arrive in Eugene/Somewhere else in between
  • Camp Saturday Night? (Will be cold and rainy- ask Sid about this- maybe find someone on couchsurfing or drive straight through?)
• Arrive in Seattle Sunday, Nov. 23
• Monday 24-Wednesday 26- Seattle
• Thursday 27-Saturday 29- Bainbridge
• Leave Seattle Nov. 29, drive straight through to Oakland
• Return to SLO Sunday, Nov. 30

Things to think about

• Where to camp Saturday the 22nd

• Limoncello
  • 6 lemons/total 1 qt
  • phase 2 started 2/23/2015
• pickled celery
  • 1.25 tablespoons salt + 1 qt water + 4 cloves garlic + black pepper
  • ferment started 2/24/2015

• "so did you ask for that haircut when you went into the salon?" EK
• "oh, is your hair natural like that?" BC
• "you look like a tiny sex package" BC
• "so are you a legal little person?" BC

• You will never be let down by anyone more than you will be let down by the one you love most in the world. it’s how gravity works.
• Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain?

• Development code
• Research & Analysis
• Writing
  • grant-writing
  • policy-writing
  • briefs
  • white papers
  • policy reports
  • zoning text
• Software
  • ArcGIS
  • AutoCAD
  • InDesign
  • Adobe Creative Suite
  • Sketch up
  • Excel (MASTER)
  • enterprise-level database software (e.g. ...

• heh heh why isn't there a straight pride parade?
• Ugh why doesn't anyone talk about sexism against men?
• heh heh women don't poop, rite?
• a man who sees that i like cats and assumes that literally any mention of cats means that i will be in love with them; "oohhh your cat loves me!" "don't mind me, i'll just be over here cuddling with gracie"
• far too cultured to understand American usage of foreign languages in an idiomatic sense; "queso??? what?? that means cheese!" / the mario batali genre of person who attempts to show their culture and intelligence by pronouncing foreign words with absurd/out-of-context accents-- the restaurant Chipotle, etc
• the genre of person who loves to talk about their allergies

• how it ends
• royal heart
• asking too much

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl

"Because what it's come down to, after that whole messy spring, that whole tortured summer, all this time since, is this: I no longer believe I can save people. I've tried, and I've failed, and while I'm sure there are people out in the world with that particular gift, I'm not one of them. I make too much of a mess of things. But books, on the other hand: I do still believe books can save you." -Rebecca Makkai

"it helps to have a good friend in court when one is constantly sentencing oneself to death." -Erica Jong

"bad shit happens when good people do not...

• HOP ALONG. GET DISOWNED. OMG.
• ANYTHING jeff rosenstock(particularly Bomb!)
• defiance, ohio
• ps eliot/waxahatchee/king everything/anything KT
• swearin
• the unlovables
• radiator hospital (thanks brennin)
• chumped (BC)
• the weakerthans
• aphid ant constructions
• andrew jackson jihad
• rilo kiley
• Iron & wine
• nana grizol
• broken social scene
• crying
• lemuria
• moZella/michelle featherstone/other RLY GOOD OTH ARTISTS (!!!)

• bilk
• catholic
• canard
• burnish
• cabal
• calumny
• bonhomie
• attenuate
• augury
• burnish
• apocryphal
• apostate
• abberate
• predilection
• magnanimous
• obviate
• nascent
• nebulous

• If I am outwardly flirting with you or wearing revealing clothing, this does NOT mean that I want to fuck you OR that you are entitled to such. Your frustration is your own problem; don't act angry when I reject you and them blame me for your failures at sexual conquest.
• "Hey, by the way, what's your phone number?" It is completely inexcusable for you to catch me off-guard by asking for my number without even taking a fraction of a moment to gauge my interest. Did you ever consider that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I don't WANT to give you my number? That maybe I don't WANT to hang out with you? This is my job; I am nice and funny to you because I am paid to do so, not because I have some earnest interest in you. It is unfair to trick me into giving you my number without first inquiring whether I'd even actually like to see you outside of this ...

• If eternal returen is the heaviest of burdens, then our lives can stand out against it in all their splendid lightness. But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid? The heaviest of burdens crushes us, and we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man's body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an imagine of life/s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leve of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose weight or lightness?... That is the question. The only cer...

• how do i drink dream smile
• vegetable sleeve with chard, beets, okra, kale, eggplant, bok choy, artichokes, tomatoes, squash, carrots

• Because what is important isn't the whole chaotic, poetic mess of people that turned this journey of curiosity into an exploration of life and death and the fear of living and dying and the difficulty of separating love and judgment from passion and duty. what is important is the story. because when we are all dust and teeth and kicked-up bits of skin--when we're dancing with our own skeletons--our words might be all that's left of us. -alexandra fuller
• What about dignity? You will die, and when you die, you will know a profound lack of it. It's never dignified, always brutal. What's dignified about dying? It's never dignified. And in obscurity? Offensive. Dignity is an affectation, cute but eccentric, like learning French or collecting scarves. And it's fleeting and incredibly mercurial. And subjective. So fuck it....

• vandana shiva
• julia roberts
• the dixie chicks
• paul newman RIP

• I think of no one any more. I don't even bother looking for words. It flows in me, more or less quickly. I fix nothing, I let it go. Through the lack of attaching myself to words, my thoughts remain nebulous most of the time. They sketch vague, pleasant shapes and then are swallowed up: I forget them almost immediately.
• The thing is that I rarely think; a crowd of small metamorphoses accumulate in me without my noticing it, and then, one fine day, a veritable revolution takes place. This is what has given my life such a jerky, incoherent aspect.
• A man rarely feels like laughing alone: the whole thing was animated enough for me, but it was a strong, yet pure sensation. Then everything came asunder, there was nothing left but the lantern, and the palisade in the sky; it was still rather beautiful.

• t-rex!
• truth and beauty bombs
• so beautiful RIP
• AWKWARD FAMILY PHOTOS
• SKETCHY SANTAS.
• grammarzz
• post secret
• porn
• because i'm stupid
• xkcd
• yahoo answer fail
• UNNECESSARY QUOTES
• goodreads!
• etsy
• hello poetry