may I be the tiniest nail in the house of the universe, tiny but useful. may I stay forever in the stream.

• lois
• she/her
• november 16, 1998
• goodreads / the storygraph / letterboxd

'this time lasy year, i was so lonely. sometimes, that's just how it has to be. sometimes, i just want to cover myself in tiny blankets & cry forever. it's november again & i'm ready to cry. each year, something different.' — talin tahajian, it's november again

• no self-hate
• no excuses
• no regrets
• no quitting

— november

• 5; sitting at the park with kosher. watching the birds flit about tree branches and filling the morning with birdsong,

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• "I go to replenish my emptiness, to stretch my nights and fill them fuller and fuller with dreams." — Virginia Woolf
• "I have dreamt in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind." — Emily Brontë
• "I do not love so to take something—my love is not a mask or a flag. The way a spring gushes, the way the sun gleams. I love: a flood." — Adonis (tr. Khaled Mattawa)
• "If blue were not blue how could love be love. But if the body were made of rings. A loose halo would emerge in the telluric light. If anyone were entrusted to verify this rare occurence. As the petals starts to dwindle and curl unto itself. And only then. Love, blue. Hallucogenic blue,...