or, how I awkwardly have silly crushes on characters who often die in the end and/or are emotionally unavailable (yes, I know that, being fictional, they don't feel any emotions, I know they don't exist. I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.)

• 2022
  • Connor (Detroit: Become Human videogame) - well, he's not the first android I have a crush on, but sure as hell he's the first cop I have a crush on
  • Tamlin (ACOTAR book series) - at this point, let's just make a Toxic Character Bingo Card, shall we? and be damn sure that the more requirements are matched by a character, the harder I will fall for them
  • Henry Creel / Vecna (Stranger Things) - oh come on. Just once, for a change, can I not fall for the villain? Just wondering how it feels not to be this basic
  • Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) - idk man, maybe his face & mannerisms, or maybe just him being a metalhead, cast the spell that left me mesmerized
  • Bayek (Assassin's Creed Origins) - can we talk about his face, please? Or maybe about his eyes? No, can we rather talk about his heart? His brave, generous heart..? (man, it's my heart that is in trouble now)
  • Jinx (Arcane) - of C O U R S E she was going to be my favorite and I was going to have a crush on her, who am I kidding
  • Howl (Howl's Moving Castle, movie) - again?! yes, again and again! after all this time?! always and forever! he's the kinda person I would literally S T A N irl! (ok maybe i've gone too far, now i need to calm down)
• 2021
  • Tadano (Aggretsuko) - Uhm... I may or may not have an actual problem. talk.abt.that.to.the.therapist. ok, noted.
  • Neo (The Matrix) - I mean, was there the slightest chance I could not like Keanu Reeves?
  • Trinity (The Matrix) - I ended up having crushes on both of the protagonists, ok? What now?
  • Ezio Auditore (Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, book) - so fool of me to even think I got over him, after finishing the game, 10+ years ago
  • Hange Zoë (Attack on Titan, anime) - what am I supposed to say 'bout this one? Such a precious human being, a smile to protect at all costs... Yet I know I shouldn't get attached to any of the characters in this series...
  • Loki (Loki, series) - not me having yet another crush on a villain-
  • Kevin Thompson aka Kilgrave (Jessica Jones, series) - so I've got problems, so what?
  • Jeri Hogarth (Jessica Jones and Iron Fist, series) - I low-key watched the Iron Fist series only for her
  • Matt Murdock (Daredevil, series) - that precious smile tho
  • Hernan "Shades" Alvarez (Luke Cage) - the poet: Hernan Alvarez; the poem: "The key to every great lie is that it has to run parallel to the truth".
• 2020
  • adult Near (Death Note special one-shot) - long hair, very high IQ, cute af...has he even one flaw?
  • Tao (Carole & Tuesday) - cold, calm and distant, bishōnen, expert on neuroscience and AI, emotionless yet a dependable "guardian angel". but why do I always like this sort of cold-hearted fictional characters? Is that because I am similar to them? Is that because I act like them but I'm actually emotionally damaged? Is that because I have daddy issues? or is that due to my low self-esteem? How come I myself don't know the answer? anyway please, brain, stop. I know that self-isolation is hard, but seriously, Tao?! The supporting character who appears in a few episodes and that makes me wish to watch the whole anime in one sit just to see more of him? I'm 24 y.o. I'm too old for this shit, so please, brain, stop
  • Alec Hardy (Broadchurch) - is he 50 y.o., which makes him 26 years older than me? Yes. Is he damn handsome? Yes. Can he use sarcasm? Yes. Do I have a crush on him since episode 1, despite him being a total asshole? Yes. Is he out-bloody-standing? I have enough evidence to suggest so.
• 2019
  • L Lawliet (Death Note, manga and anime) - smart, cool, laid-back, cute AND hilarious. but I lowkey hated him due to his high metabolism: I mean, that's not fair
  • Tadano (Aggretsuko) - HOW. I mean, HOW?! Did I like a donkey? Or maybe did I like the voice actor? Either way, I guess someone needs to go out more often.
• 2017
  • Xerxes Break (Pandora Hearts, anime) - still precious btw
  • Victor Nikiforov (Yuuri on ice!!) - I liked him not only for his personality, but also for his BLONDE. LONG. HAIR. omg, I mean >>>
  • Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish (Game of Thrones, series) - after all: you can't spell Baelish without Bae. just sayin'
• 2016
  • Itachi Uchiha (Naruto, manga and anime) - you can tell he's fictional by the fact that he's perfect
  • Akira Hayama (Food wars) - I admit that: spices be spicy from the moment you know him. Just sayin'.
  • Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto, anime) - me to myself: "you CAN'T fall for this character: he's too similar to yourself! It'd be like having a crush on yourself". Also me: "Can't I tho"
  • Orochimaru (Naruto, anime) - I have this feeling... like there's something so twisted about me
• 2015
  • Loki (Thor, Thor TDW, The Avengers) - pretty predictable tbh
  • Tomoe (Kamisama Hajimemashita, anime) - lol! WTF! I just can't
  • Kyouya Sata (Wolf girl and black prince, anime) - that's so wrong, he's so abusive, not cool.
  • Vision (Avengers Age of Ultron) - I still think he's such a sweetie, tho
• 2014
  • Mary Read (Assassin’s Creed IV) - at first, I had a crush on "James Kidd"; I didn't know she was a "she", but when I found out I was like "oh well, I'm in"
  • Artemisia (300: Rise of an Empire) - the movie's trashy, but she's a badass so I ended up enjoying the movie as well, lol
• 2013
  • Dorian Gray (The picture of Dorian Gray, book) - was I maybe a troubled teenager? (yes)
• 2012
  • Haytham Kenway (Assassin's Creed III) - why? WHY?
• 2011
  • Lisbeth Salander (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, movie) - I don't remember much. I wonder if I would still like this character, now that I'm "sadder and wiser"
  • Lucius Vladescu (Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side) - what can I say? I've always liked vampires (lol)
• 2010
  • Cesare Borgia (Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood) - but why.
  • Lucifer (Supernatural) - yeah, I was that rebel girl who likes byronic heroes, I get it...
  • The Mad Hatter (Alice in Wonderland, movie) - so I did like weirdos
  • Edward Cullen (Twilight saga, books) - ew. And when I say "ew", I mean "Eeeewwwww"
• 2009
  • James (Twilight, movie) - this was unexpected, huh? Well, maybe I need(ed) help
  • Ezio Auditore (Assassin's Creed II) - but I also kinda hated him, sometimes...idk
  • Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson #1, book) - my first female crush ❤️
• 2008
  • Nero (Devil May Cry 4) - maybe short-tempered, but who cares when he's this handsome? right, 12-year-old me? right?
  • Severus Snape (Harry Potter #7, book) - I can't understand why I had a crush on this creep, but still
• 2007
  • Howl (Howl's moving castle, anime) - aw, I still like him (and everytime I rewatch the movie, the crush kicks back in)
• 2005
  • Willy Wonka (Charlie and the chocolate factory, movie) - what in the world was wrong with me?
• 2004
  • Quiche (Tokyo Mew Mew, anime) - I watched the entire anime just bc I wanted to see him, lol. also, he has been my first fictional crush ever ❤️