- "frostnugget"
- "nice bushido hair" "you shut right the fuck up"
- 100 followers on my art blog??????????? sobs deeply
- 6 miles at the gym + lifting
- a decent nap
- a fanfiction I like had a really good, cute update
- a good shower
- a human very urgently and emotionally complimenting my name at work (today)
- a long date with the gym (6 miles, holy shit it was great)
- a metric fuckton of sleep
- a nice phone call from mum
- a simple night at work
- a slow day at work
- a small child asking their mother if they could hand me the money to purchase their food when I was working and the mother letting them, even though the child’s hands were further away from me and the entire movement was pretty roundabout
- a tasty dinner
- a thousand years of good sleep (despite nightmares)
- Aaron’s nice facial hair
- acai berry unsweetened iced tea
- accidentally reading “flesh mount” on a product that was actually labeled “flush mount” sldkgjfhsdf jesus
- acoustic & piano covers
- actively fighting a thousand looming urges to relapse
- AFTER 5 MONTHS OF BASICALLY NOT MOVING MY ASS (aside from job and general moving stuff??), DOING A 12.5 MINUTE MILE ON THE TREAD MOTHERFRICKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!????? DAS RITE
- again, actively fighting severe urges to relapse
- again, kids ordering for themselves at work. it is just so cool because they’re always really polite to me and completely capable and no one ever fucking treats kids like they’re capable. they can think for themselves and they’re just really great sometimes from a distance, they’re like tiny, non-judgmental adults that just take a second longer to process questions, bless.
- all my books being at home on the shelf!! my life is complete
- all the good kids in the hijack chat
- an easy day at work
- an easy night at work
- an easy shift
- another good phone call from mum
- assembling most of my bookshelf after a thousand years of owning it
- attractive customers (dear brandon, ur hot)
- babe coworkers givin’ me free food
- being able to bring home delicious (free) stuff from work for ink and I
- being able to find a parking space easily lately
- being able to lounge around and enjoy my day off without feeling anxious/stressed/terrible
- being able to pay for rent and internet on time, despite cutting it close
- being able to re-park my car easy peasy
- being off for the next 3 days so I can go back to the goddamn gym
- being off for the past 3 days
- being self-harm free for two months
- buying nutella again for the first time in like 900 years
- capri suns
- Catherine keeping in contact with me
- celebrating my four month anniversary with Reba
- central heat and hot water
- chattin’ with Lucy a bit
- children who order for themselves (where I work)
- cinnamon crumb cake
- clean laundry
- clean laundry
- cleaning up the apartment a bit
- coworker Genna: “Hey Jason, I really like your thing” fdkgljsdfsfhgj
- coworker Jenna giving me the last mac n’cheese at the end of the night FO FREE instead of throwing it out, what a babe
- coworker Marissa always making me laugh (“Is this your agua?” cHrIsT)
- Deanna listening to my bullshit for even 0.000001 second (sorry)
- Deanna making it safely to Scotland
- deciding to eat after all
- discovering the deliciousness of our black bean soup
- discussing with Joe and Maria that Joe should take a black and white photo of The Bagel and get it temporary tattooed on his bicep and get that photo airbrushed onto a cake for our next Bread Bash to celebrate Kevin’s hard work
- doing 3 miles at the gym even though I didnt feel like going
- doing above task while sippin’ chocolate milk and eating a sandwich
- drawing without being mad at my inadequacy the entire time
- drinking a shit ton of water (today)
- drinking coffee with less sweetener in it
- drinking plenty of water
- driving a different route home to break the monotony
- eating
- eating enough, eating well, enjoying it
- Em appreciating the shitty blackice fanart I made her for her birthday despite how really actually shitty it is, holy moly
- Em’s birthday
- enjoying my morning by reading in front of the heater on the kitchen floor in the sunlight
- extra-light beer
- feeling decent with my huskshape lately!!
- feeling emotionally better today than I have the past 4 days combined
- feeling good about my appearance
- feeling like I’m regularly into the habit of reading again, feels really good
- feeling like I’ve been going to the gym because I like working out as opposed to any other reason
- feeling like my emotions and behavior are really changing finally rather than the lifetime I’ve spent dealing with emotion-based sensations of change that have violently fluctuated and not stuck at all not
- feeling so miserable about living paycheck to paycheck because I prefer this stress, which protects me and allows me to continue striving to recover, than the alternative of having money and another job, but being emotionally and mentally traumatized
- finally assembling all the tools I need to put my bookshelf together
- finally feeling better/starting to get over this sickness!!
- finally purchasing a goddamn sleep mask so I CAN SLEEP IN TOMB-LIKE CONDITIONS AGAIN YES (read: I need absolute silence + darkness and a generally cold room in order to sleep my best)
- finally sating my bloodlust for apple juice after like 5 days of craving it
- finding out that ROTG is going to be released on DVD on my birthday. ;_; IT’S AN OMEN…………..
- finding the Katsuya keychain I thought I’d lost/left behind
- finishing A Separate Peace (even if I’m devastated)
- finishing my bookshelf AT LONG LAST
- finishing The Alchemist
- fixing my sleep schedule
- flavored tea packets for water bottles
- french toast
- fresh snow, always
- fresh snow, cold snow, snow on my face, snow in my mouth
- getting a better score at work than I did yesterday
- getting a bigger paycheck than I thought I was going to get
- getting a good night’s sleep
- getting a lot of good sleep
- getting a lot of hours on my schedule next week because I’m doing really good at work
- getting a phone call from mum
- getting a random text from my step-dad (he’s never texted me before??) saying that he and mum miss and love me
- getting a really good score at work
- getting all of my laundry done
- getting an awesome score at work
- getting enough sleep
- getting my car serviced without any trouble
- getting my parking ticket sorted out to a decent degree
- getting off a little early the past two nights
- getting out of work early
- getting out of work on time
- getting paid just in time to pay my phone bill
- getting the pins for my hat at work for being trained in two modules
- getting to listen to some of Ryan’s composition
- getting to nab from the bakery at work for free to commemorate Annie’s departure for school
- getting to pick up an extra shift this week
- getting to relax and draw
- getting to see Remote’s beautiful face again, lord
- getting to spend time with Hijack chat babes
- getting to start training for a new module at work
- getting to talk to my lady for a really long time
- getting to talk to Reba on the phone !!
- getting to talk to Shea for a while ;;;;;
- getting to try a sandwich for free due to training for the new module
- getting to work on time
- getting to work on time
- getting up early despite little sleep and keen misery from last night; it helped my sleep schedule and I ended up having a good day
- giving Milo a good thorough brushing (which he seemed to enjoy; he usually dislikes being brushed a lot)
- going to the gym again for the first time in a while, knocking out 5 miles
- going to the gym even though I really didn’t feel like it
- going to Tim Hortons for the first time
- good score at work
- grandpa letting me borrow the money so I could get my car serviced
- grateful customers
- grateful, pleasant regulars— they make my job worth it
- having a decent day overall (possibly influenced by how delirius I am)
- having a good day
- having a good night at work, getting a good score, etc.
- having a good, long cry in the car
- having a healthy dose of ship angst with the Hijack chat babes
- having a lot to be grateful for despite all the rough patches I’ve had
- having a really great dokipartner ;;
- having a super clean room
- having coworkers that don’t suck
- having good days at work
- having my genderfuckery art appreciated rather than ridiculed slkdfjsdf always a plus
- having the day off
- having the exact amount of loose change (not a single cent more) on my person to purchase the single copy I found of a super bargain priced hardcover of Pride & Prejudice (the really neat kind that have the pages that are at all different lengths on the side? yayayaya)
- having the strength to move a suburban lamp post out of the damn road on my way to work this morning so I could get by (it had been blown over by the 53 MPH wind gusts we had last night)
- HB getting cats!!!!!! I am so happy to hear of this
- HB sending me a message and chattin’ w/ me on skype ;;
- HB texting me nice things ;-; crey
- HeroBeater (the entire unit of life that is HB)
- Holocene by Bon Iver
- hot tea
- how kind those kids are to me
- how long my hair is getting
- how much more homely my room feels with my bookshelf assembled and the framed artwork I own replacing the terrifying paintings that were up before
- how sunny it was today
- Ink being the better tenant and making up for my stupidity sdlkghadf
- Ink chatting with me
- Ink chatting with me about their ship dokis
- Ink listening to me bitch literally 24/7
- Ink making us coffee
- Ink sending me a text saying only “woojehr” at like 3 AM, jesus christ
- Ink: “Beautiful girls all over the world… and all of them are me.”
- Joe letting me borrow a hat for the day
- Joe not getting mad that I left my hat and nametag at home sdlkfjgsjbn
- Joe packaging the lone bagel that was left in the entire store after we closed for Kevin to find this morning because Kevin spent the whole morning preparing 20 bagel packs (aka slicing 260 bagels) for customers before we even opened
- Jordan telling me that she’s going to put me back into training again soon so I can get a raise!
- Jude Law’s fucking face I mean it I am serious
- Katie putting up with me while training me @ work
- Kevin laughing at The Bagel this morning
- long, thorough showers
- Lucy making it through the flash flood safely
- Lucy sending me great voice clips and being a great human in general forever in every direction
- Lucy’s birthdayyyy even though I was out the entire day slkgjbvvn
- Lucy’s long, unconscious rants in German
- making an effort to solidify my Hijack fanfiction and posting it in public (ew)
- making it through January, I definitely had some pitfalls and setbacks, but I made it!
- making the brave and otherwise often fruitless attempt to fix my sleep schedule by staying up 32 hours
- making the most delicious curry of my life
- Marissa never being able to tell if I’m being sarcastic or not (I am literally crystal clear, how is she so ignorant of my intentions, bless)
- Marissa staying to help me close later than she had to
- Marissa, seriously, she is hilarious
- Milo always missing me when I’m gone and being super affectionate when I get home (even if he’s annoying and loud about it)
- Mimi tellin’ me (as Cate did a few days ago) that all the tomb babes talked nicely about me when Wandii visited. ._______. I seriously want to burst into tears every time I think about it, jesus christ I am so undeserving. Thank you, all of you, all the time. ;; slgkjbdvlnjkbsdlfkjasfdadlgskjhgahsfkahdsh emotionally throws myself into traffic
- Mimi’s fantastic face/existence/voice/drunk video
- mint hot chocolate and a strawberry scone
- Misfits, jesus christ what a good show
- MOTHERFRICKIN CHAPSTICK
- music, music, music, music
- my clothes coming out almost completely dry despite that I had to put two loads of wash in a single dryer
- my coworker Marissa tonight, god bless
- my first Skype call with the Hijack babes
- my grandpa’s support
- my gym membership
- my hijack angst getting over 150 notes?? omg thank you, cries deeply
- my legs feeling like they were kissed by the goddess Venus
- my parent(s) at least partially coming through on a promise
- my silky smooth goddess legs
- my sleep mask actually helping
- my step-father coming through on the second end of his promise
- my willpower (today specifically because I usually have absolutely none)
- nabbing a super good parking spot
- needing to add more weight on the arm machines because the weight I was using before is now too easy!!
- not feeling an insurmountable level of self-loathing when eating today
- not having to work
- not sleeping all day
- not wasting money on liquor or soft drinks at all this month
- organic spinach pizza
- organizing my room a bit getting to unpack a bunch of smaller things and apply them to my bookshelf
- Orlando calling me his “handsome star boy”
- Orlando drawing me and checking up on me all the time
- Orlando sending me this exact text: “Have a great day, star boy ☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★”
- Orlando, jesus christ what a good guy
- Orlando: “Frau is German for homegirl” frICK
- OTC medicine
- our fridge keeping things fresh forever, little miracles
- our goddamn landing door not blowing in from the hellacious wind storm we had last night
- our landlords always leaving candy in the basement laundromat
- painless closing & getting to leave on time
- parents encouraging their children to order for themselves
- Passion Pit’s second album, Gossamer, it’s fucking amazing
- pillow cases
- protective winter clothing
- PUFFS TISSUES WITH LOTION, GOD BLESS
- raw cookie dough
- re-reading Anthem by Ayn Rand
- re-reading Coraline by Neil Gaiman
- re-reading Starfighter with Reba
- re-watching Mirrormask with Reba
- re-watching the second season of Misfits
- reading 100+ pages of A Separate Peace (it’s so good hhh)
- reading part one of The Alchemist at work before my shift
- reading The Alchemist and relaxing before work
- Reba always communicating with me really well
- Reba having a good start to school
- Reba having a super awesome mega groovy cool day that she completely deserved!!
- Reba tolerating me longer than -12 seconds
- Reba watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with me
- reconnecting with Rebecca
- recovering from a binge by taking care of myself and going to the gym even though I super super did not feel like it
- Reeeeeeeeebbbbbbbaaaaaaa
- remembering the surreal dream I had so I can make something artistic out of it later
- seeing a book in Barnes & Noble called SHIP IT HOLLA BALLAS. I don’t fucking know what it’s about but I almost lost my goddamned mind does that author think this is a fucking game
- seeing a wild bunny cross the road on the way to work
- seeing the license plate “JACK 4” on a rickety dark green vehicle in front on me on the expressway and the driver had his arm hanging out his down window. it was 33F and the winds were about 25 MPH. (actual motor vehiclist Jack Frost?? ?)
- sitting in Barnes & Noble and watching the snow fall
- sleeping like 15 hours
- SNOW
- snow
- snow on the ground, all the snow, having snow, it is snowing
- snow! always exciting and fun (although a complete bitch to drive in)
- so many notes on my Jaccup art, s-sob ;;
- spending time away from the house/outside of my room
- starting something I’d been wanting to start for months but was too emotionally fuddled to engage in until now
- staying awake through the godawful boring e-learning despite that I’d been up for over 24 hours at the time and it was soul-deadening
- staying up all night so that I could try to fix my sleep schedule today and thus erasing all of my sense of unhappiness and sense of shame and self-loathing
- staying up all night with Maddie and Lucy and having a really good time, that was one of the best nights I’ve had in a while
- staying up all night with Maddie and Lucy to talk about dumb shit and exchange photos
- strongly familiar feelings, even if they are negative
- (subset of above convo) Ryan: “I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A TOp”
- super enjoying my training for the new module at work
- super enjoying their cheapo mint hot chocolate
- surviving this stupid fucking day
- survivng another really stupid day
- talking about awkward sex situations with the Hijack Skype babes, A+ convo
- talking to Bangles about animu and life
- talking to Deanna for a little while
- talking to Ink for a long time about stuff
- talking to Mimi and Deanna briefly
- talking to my grandpa for the first time in a while
- talking to Reba for a long time
- talking with Ink for a long time (a long time considering?? ?…… and it was mostly her listening to me bitch, crie)
- that amazing homemade sugar scrub
- that counts as like 10 things I swear
- that dubstep bird, jesus christ
- that fucking jurassic park mp3 with Jack and the dream dinosaur jesus fuck sldkgjfdlkhjgalkfjalsdhgafhdskg
- the associate who helped me at the post office today looking insanely similar to Kanye West (like the face structure, it was amazing)
- the cashier at the gas station having the same birthdate as me
- the chocolate peanut butter fat burner shake I got from the gym
- the fact that my actual sweet tooth is disappearing, good riddance
- the fact that my brother’s voice gets deeper every time I speak to him on the phone
- the fact that the fan community of HTTYD almost always draws & writes Hiccup WITH his disability! THANK YOU!
- the Hijack skype babes
- the lack of snow on the ground, so my tires aren’t trippin
- the last name “Rooks”
- the long drive home
- the nap I’m about to take
- the sheer volume of fucking puns the jack frost fandom manages to continually produce
- the smell of new books (not that I bought any, but)
- the support of my friends despite my shortcomings, my overreactions, my mistakes, my failures, my abundant complaints, and my ineptitude
- the uprising for Femlash February, I AM SO READY
- the walmart employee helping me find my shopping basket because someone randomly…… took it off the shelf I placed it on…….. and moved it like 8 aisles over????? god
- this one fella who asked about me coughing (I only coughed for like 2 seconds??) and he was like YEAH, YEAH MHM… GOT THAT COUGH RIGHT?? and went on a huge curse-filled rant about how terrible his recent sickness was. what a guy
- Thong Song by Sisqo, jesus christ
- tissue (this sickness is killing me)
- today I am grateful for:
- TTG’s presence on tumblr again ;__; OH HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU
- tumblr user yakfrost
- twice grateful for that because she was sick
- two little kids commenting that they liked my work hat
- two of the fanfics I super like updating w/ long beautiful chapters after semi-hiatus?? god bless
- valuable discussions with the HiJack skype group
- Vanilla Twilight by Owl City
- vegetarian chili
- visiting barnes & noble finally
- visiting Barnes&Noble again
- waking up at 11 AM instead of goddamn 3 PM
- walmart having a decent set of replacement nails for the ones I managed to lose for under $1
- watching all the fresh snow fall out my bedroom window this morning
- watching Repo! The Genetic Opera with my lady
- watching the deleted storyboard scenes from HTTYD (omg they were cute, Hiccup is such a weenie)
- watching The Road to El Dorado with Reba
- wearing the leggings I intended to wear to the gym under my work pants today because holy smhmahfhdgmvvh it was fucKING COLD OutsIDE and my car takes a while to heat up. hhhhhhnblkddsfg
- weight machines (do I even lift? yes I do)
- weirding out a customer at work by remembering his name
- white chocolate peppermint mocha
- work going slowly so I could pre-close and leave on time
- work looking spotless and perfect after I was done with it! heck yeah flawless close
- working with Allison briefly (she’s been hella gone since she started her internship elsewhere)
- working with Derek again briefly after like 900 years of our alternating schedules (he’s cool)
- yak hitting me up about my art being reposted (thanks brotha ;; )
- yakfrost recommending my drabbles in an ask response, cries
- Yam’s fucking fanart of Jack stuffing snow into his hoodie in the shape of breasts to get Hiccup’s attention, god bless
oct 22 2013 ∞
oct 22 2013 +