january

• 1. feeling wanted. pepero & pocky. ethereal playlist. cleaning up some things.
• 2. feeling anxious and bad. crying. worrying about my tcc. 22:22. old night playlist.
• 3. sleeping all day and, when awake, anxious and nervous about my tcc. talking to some amazing friends who tried to help me. crying. the oa.
• 4. first film of 2021: a documentary about the white helmets. i got hold of a girl i used to like a lot. that bad mood when you don't know what song to listen to.
• 5. suga is back home! i finished one chapter of my tcc. blood tests. i want to dye my hair purple and pink just like choerry's in the butterfly era. villain by k/da.
• 6. sleeping a lot. feeling useless. being sick.
• 7. sleeping a lot, again. not doing anything productive. feeling useless and worthless. electra heart, the album, by marina.
• 8. nervous. had like three wet dreams in one night only? butterfly by loona. certified milf. blonde jungkook.
• 9. dreamt about dating jackson wang and i was so cute... missed my friends' birthday party because i was afraid of covid-19. edited videos for two groups of friends.
• 10. chilling. remembering old things about me. i just won the game. i love my friends. being horny.
• 11. 11:11. gossiping with duarte about some weird bitches. my mom is really sick and my little sister too. headache. oh no i'm horny again.
• 12. 1:11. not doing a lot... being active on instagram. kpop girlgroups playlist. jhene aiko.
• 13. feeling smart. wow my teacher is amazing!!! being productive. reiki. hope world by j-hope. found out my mom has covid0-19.
• 14. started having covid-19 symptoms. it hurts a lot. going to the public health system. i want to finish my essay but my head hurts too much.
• 15. it hurts even more. finished one more chapter of my essay. nina is sick and i cried a lot because i can't even think about losing her. taking her to the vet. my dad cried on my shoulder and he seems so frustrated and depressed. i wish i could help him.
• 16. rosé's solo is coming! one year of bts' black swan art film. i love being a dancer.
• 17. last day to write my final essay. mom's really sick and so am i. i feel like i'm going to faint. reflection by bts. i feel like i'm going crazy! audrey hepburn. reading 3 full books in one day.
• 18. finally finished my final essay. i'm almost graduated, damn. taking a covid-19 test, AGAIN. ice cream with my sister.
• 19. got my skoob account back. raura's twitch live. my friends are happy i finished my essay <3. this man's last words were “butter beans”. feeling pretty. having a 'fight' with my friends. feeling like shit. owa owa dog.
• 20. bela is 100% stigma.mp3. i passed out and lost my consciousness. alanzoka's diction lmaooooo. feeling lonely.
• 21. i'm horny. 02:20. my covid-19 symptoms are getting worse. reading a taekook fanfiction. finally got my test result and i'm covid-19 positive, wow what a revelation. headache and i thought i was going to die. taekook fanfiction. brazilhope.
• 22. calming videos. soft food. my essay presentation got a date settled. feeling a little unmotivated. trouble sleepink.
• 23. trouble sleeping again. feeling awful. terrible day. feeling empty. i really want to feel something, please. wishing i was dead.
• 24. sleeping all day, but feeling restless. not doing anything specific.
• 25. being really bad. passing out. going to the hospital and staying in for the day. feeling horrible. lucas penteado!
• 26. today i'm a little better. i can do my chores and i feel a little bit more alive. blair waldorf mindset. ethereal playlist. rosé is coming. anxiety. i thought i was better but... i can't believe i'm friends with people who have such white girl problems.
• 27. audrey hepburn. rosé lesbian icon. halsey is pregnant! lucas penteado my beloved.
• 28. i'm covid free! there's no bitch on my level and you all know that. blackpink's pretty savage stage. iu's celebrity. seeing luiza, i love her so much.
• 29. oh my life is bountiful i don't need a boyfriend to feel fulfilled. my mom makes me want to die so much. the day i finally fucking kill myself, i hope she knows it's her fault. she went to the hospital and honestly it's good being home without her. rosé lesbian icon!!!
• 30. feeling ugly and disgusting. seeing julia and felipe! feeling happy because i missed them. rosé's stage. nina stayed all day away from home...
• 31. nina's home! my mom is back too. blackpink's the show. bbb.

february

• 1. sad to remember i have overcontrolling parents. three abandoned chapels. i wanna be better, i wanna feel pretty. i'm fat as fuck. ugly, disgusting, fat bitch. bbb is making me so so so anxious... shitty day.
• 2. anxiety. i can't stand stray kids' fans damn bitch. one more day, one more harassment on instagram. sana's so fine... seu josé with luiza. cadolffo!!
• 3. i'm so anxious. tcc presentation. anxious, anxious, anxious. even my tummy hurts. but everything went okay. i got a 9,6!!! 'a vida da gente' tv show. thinking about how i fall in love with women that look like me.
• 4. okay day i guess... saw mari. my mom gets on my nerves. bbb. taehyung as mr darcy. Hayao Miyazaki Got So Bored with Retirement He Started Directing Again ‘in Order to Live’. i'll choose jimin over my family any day blood aint thicker than that ass. i want to bite peoples heads off when they talk to me.
• 5. going out. seeing a pretty girl. but also seeing some people that i don't like. not really feeling comfortable.
• 6. wandavision. i hate myself. i hope i die. i'm so fat. the oa with dad. women in horror <3. sapphic lucy liu. bbb is making me sick, i can't stand the homophobia. no dude it was like an echo in the fucking forest you dont get it.
• 7. i love steph! deftones. rock jam.
• 8. brazilians: *being opressed*, hoseok *waking up in a cold sweat at 3AM*: something’s wrong. i wish rosé would cover love story by taylor swift. god bless latin america.
• 9. finding out so many things about so many people... thank you, oxum. bbb.
• 10. clara makes me so happy. sugar plum fairy. i love rosé so much! rosé lesbian icon. i'm really needy and i wish i had a girlfriend to have picnics with... i have this really weird superpower that makes me always understand the underlines or the coded message people are trying to say.
• 11. rosé day. me and rosé: legends who just can't sit straight. i miss nam taehyun and winner. 'we find love' by daniel caesar. your name.
• 12. i love making people feel loved. lalisa is the best dancer! i wish i danced as well as her. i wanna be a good reader again. namjoon bisexual icon!!! monara said suspiria makes her think of me. howl's moving castle.
• 13. i hate myself. i hate my body. the love witch. pipoca went missing. awful day. at least i got bubble tea. seeing my aunts and my grandma. finding a dead cat on the street and crying a lot. pipoca came back, but i'm still hurt. seeing some friends.
• 14. the party i was had some really bad things happening. i feel ugly and fat. i'm always the second option. at least giordano and madu made me feel happy. weird dream. me and monara are hyewon! bubble tea. bly manor.
• 15. bly manor is so good!!! i wish someone loved me like the duke loves daphne. i miss one direction. i guess no one really loves me as a first option.
• 16. how can i make my father stop drinking? i used to be so pretty... cookies and light up the sky with lolo, aunt ana and uncle miro.
• 17. i totally hate marketing, but i need this job. 11:11. hobi day. i wish i was an heir. hozier.
• 18. 999. something in that texas water (inserts beyoncé, mina, normani and megan). “hottie with a body” implies the existence of “hottie without a body”......how do i become HER. 'movement' by hozier. i wish to be lonely but i also crave to be loved. finally realizing not everyone is my friend. eu definitivamente não sei quem eu sou, é algo tão difícil de descobrir e definir. às vezes quero ser popular, quero ter pessoas à minha volta. às vezes quero que todos esqueçam que já existi, quero estar sozinha. a única coisa que continua presente é que quero ser amada. anseio incansavelmente por ser amada, principalmente por mim mesma. mas nunca consigo.
• 19. 11:11. this tumblr post. i miss ballet.
• 20. new account. mr. darcy. i am: quartz. i can't stand another anxiety crisis. 'dinner & diatribes' by hozier. seeing some friends that made me so happy and i smiled so much! jet, igor, dan and marilia.
• 21. homemade bubble tea. kakashi. nam taehyun. i want to be loved...
• 22. mydramalist. african art. i dreamt i had my hair really short again... i'm always losing my life because of my family. i wish i could die. i wish i was a ballerina.
• 23. creating a nsfw account on twitter. feeling wanted. bly manor. i want to be in love like dani and jamie. anxiety. wanting to die.
• 24. rosé and suzy are dating. blue haired jungkook!!! i need to make some money, please. my grandma is really sick. i had to take care of her while she had a stroke. i slept in her house because she was not okay to be by herself. 01:01. the moon.
• 25. grandma is still not okay. spending the day at home but thinking i was gonna go sleep at grandma's again. my mom is crazy and i wanna die. i tried to kill myself and had to stay at the hospital doing an intestinal enema.
• 26. being at the hospital. having to face people worrying about me and giving me lectures.
• 27. going out with my godmother and my aunt. what a rough week. bts' winter package. spirited away with lolo. i'm alive in spite of me.
• 28. tete is really sick, he's too thin. many artists got out of spotify, wtf? i wanna be loved, please. i am: jane bennet. 2023 is going to be my year. the concept of namjoon is too amazing to be real. namjoon foucault. i only see love in gukkie's cartoon eyes. 01:10. japan is beautiful.

march

• 1. old pictures at toca do urso. my sister is amazing and i love her singing. my friends are crazy and make me laugh a lot. é as gu. barb day! anya taylor joy. rosé is coming!!! blue side. i wish i could feel happy and loved.
• 2. seu josé. búzios. dad got kinda mad but we needed it. my graduation is finally coming and getting planned. i love showering.
• 3. laughing with the winxclub. jobs are useless. psychiatrist.
• 4. i love winxclub. jungkook is so cool. new medicine.
• 5. making my graduation's invitations and sending them. head rosé rosé thoughts. 'drivers license' by olivia rodrigo. wanting to be her... doing a ritual of cleansing. oxum talked to me.
• 6. going out with the women from my family. rapmon's bday! gigi hadid is back. aeterisks noticed me. i am: suga. my cellphone has these weird glitches?
• 7. cleaning my bedroom. one direction. dreamt i was dating zayn and he presented me to his mom. deftones. pinterest. i want a girlfriend.
• 8. rosé's playlist. suga suga suga. 1331. roseanne. LULA LIVRE. dressing up as kpop mvs.
• 9. feeling pretty. rosé's teasers. i wanna write epitome.
• 10. everglow. nubigenous account with tete. my graduation.
• 11. waking up early and loving rosé. oftalmo. homeopatia. dressing real pretty. i love rosé. dressing up as rosé. virginia woolf's writing shed. yoongi saying bitch on twitter.
• 12. dad's birthday. ROSEANNE. ROSÉ. ROSEANNEEEEEEEEE! ON THE GROUNG. GONE. OH MY GOOOOOD EVERYTHING IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO GOOD! doing a cover. 4 years with loona 1/3. i'm fat.
• 13. dressing up as kpop mvs. getting into some really weird convo with this dude on telegram lmao i hope he doesn't send my nudes to someone else......... i'm fat.
• 14. rosé's live. i'm so anxious... i can't stand people talking bad things about roseanne ):. i wanna **** jungkook lol. i wanna get blonde, omg. i hate the grammys. i'm fat.
• 15. ballet! feeling so anxious. i love dressing up as a rockstar. i'm fat. dad coming home late.
• 16. waking up early. i'm fat. 22:22. i hate my new medication.
• 17. can't sleep. going back to my personal twitter account. i love my friends. heloisa is an angel.
• 18. psiquiatra. i'm anxious.
• 19. horror women <3. 'i am' video. 4 years of the wings tour. fashion inspired by horror films. nobody sees what you see, even if they see it too. webrole.
• 20. hopekook. 22:22. had the worst nightmare ever. you have a heart as soft as a baby bird. i wish i was pretty. thread on american horror story outfits.
• 21. headache. dressing up as winx. i feel so guilty after eating... i can't die because my pets will miss me.
• 22. i had the worst nightmare ever TW i was raped. luna got herself all dirty and i had to give her a shower at night. naughty by irene&seulgi.
• 23. be natural by red velvet. back to @witchcratf. i hate my body. studying. i'm ugly.
• 24.
• 25. deftones. i wish i was pretty. ghostface panties. hungry. i think i'm a lesbian?
• 26. i'm ugly and fat. riverdale.
• 27. webrole. wishing i was pretty. riverdale.
• 28. my top 7 favorite albums: wings, syre, electra heart, crosses, trouble, white pony and atlas: space. thinking about cutting my hair or dyeing it ginger. bbb.
• 29. low self steem. i want a horror movies marathon. passo fundo. 04:04.
• 30. tiktok. i wish i could protect my sister at all costs. i'm the ugly friend.
• 31. lolo is going viral?

april

• 1. i love dancing. lolo is famous. i really hope i have body dismorphia because if people see me the way i see myself i don't wanna live.
• 2. cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. manu.
• 3. i wish i had more attention. i wish i was pretty. american horror story 1984. emma roberts!!!
• 4. ahs 1984. richard ramirez! xavier! i'm ugly and fat. i want a tattoo. i love my ancestry. i love gaara.
• 5. my cellphone is impossible to use. 1850 reais to fix it, wtf. i wish i was pretty. i wish i could punch a racist. i wish living was easier.
• 6. i wish i had a girlfriend. and a girlband. i love my native blood. i want a sugar daddy.
• 7. wanna be a tattoo artist.
• 9. nana and carol made me feel loved.
• 17. i wanna die.
• 18. i'm ugly.
• 21. i wanna disappear.
• 22. i want a job.
• 24. i wish i was pretty. i hate myself. i love nana.
• 25. dreamt i was in a bts concert and they gave me so much love and hobi hugged me a lot. ):
• 27. the matrix. seeing a really handsome man in the street and we exchanged stares. madam satan.
• 28. if i get a little prettier can i be your baby?
• 29. the only exception cover.

may

• 2. jordan peele did so much for the world because when i see 'us' i think about the movie and not about the country. my 'best friend' betrayed me again lol. shikamaru suffering asuma's death always gets to me.
• 3. calling peoples' opinion of me "fan theories".
• 4. i hate changing meds. i envy michael b. jordan's girlfriend.
• 5. i'm so lonely. nina went missing and i wouldn't even know how miserable i would be from this day.
• 6. job interview. i hate being mentally ill, i hate having difficulties at doing things that normal people do easilly. i'm thinking about cutting my hair short.
• 7. i hate the newspaper place i'm going to work.
• 8. couldn't get no one to give me a ride to my friend's birthday.
• 9. i want to live in a city // and i want to get lost in a city. fallen angels.
• 10. guess i'm starting to have a crush in my work colleague.
• 11. ok i def want him to fuck me.
• 16. i wish me and namjoon were in love and we had museum dates and he would explain the paintings to me with stars in his eyes.
• 17. i hate being single. i never had a date. i hate being a journalist.
• 18. my work colleagues never watched naruto!!! the newspaper i'm working at is really shitty.
• 19. i want an army girlfriend. ALICE IN BORDERLAND RENEWED.
• 21. butter!!! JUNGKOOK'S TATTOOED ARM OH MY GOD. kanye west's stronger referencing akira. hozier is a male character written by a female.
• 23. i wish i had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. okay but rita ora, taika waititi and tessa thompson in a poli relationship is everything to me. i'm really lonely.
• 25. 11:11 i miss when the weather was warmer. pretty girls don't know the things that I know.
• 26. i want ariana's wedding. i want a dva cosplay.
• 27. the only thing i like about working at a newspaper is that the other journalists love gossiping as much as i do. i want to jump to the moment when i'm happy, with my family, in a beautiful house and taking nice vacations... i want a lover.
• 29. i wish i was dating michael b. jordan. i'm kinda losing my hope in the world. and i miss my cat. i miss this aesthetic.

june

• 7. i want a dva cosplay.
• 10. blair waldorf mindset.
• 11. manu' house. gossiping. wine. and i love her company. omegle. and big cock koreans lmao. and spending valentine's days eve with her.
• 12. valentine's day alone.
• 21. no time for twitter fighting. i feel dirty in a bad way for having flirted with this disguting man once. but i love my friends.
• 24. a man that took care of me in school is in a really bad condition at the hospital and that saddens me a lot.
• 25. someone let a dog die in a petshop and i'm crying at work.
• 26. thinking about killing myself. my family will never let me be happy. but i got to see my friends.
• 27. nanda costa and lan lanh's baby twins!!! i want to have a cute family.