Funky-Clunky perfectly sums up those quirky, borderline names that straddle a divide between "old-fashioned" and "uber-cool". These names certainly are not soft, light or particularly "cute" sounding. Their bold, and somewhat heavy sound, and stuffy image, is precisely what makes them intriguing. Funky-clunkies are like the posh family silver, covered in dust in a box and forgotten about by many people -- but, taken out, polished up, and placed in a new setting they can look remarkably striking.

Celebrities that have used funky-clunkies include Lily Allen (Ethel), Billie Piper (Winston & Eugene), David Mitchell & Victoria Coren Mitchell (Barabara), and Paul Bettany & Jennifer Connelly (Agnes).

These names are not modern or popular as you could describe Maddison or Mason; neither are they long-standing vintage choices such as Sophie or Joshua, nor recent turn-of-the-century revivals such as Stanley or Ivy. They do, however, have the distinction of having bundles of history and weight behind them, giving them a distinguished and dignified charm. They are familiar, but not popular; and with some of their former contemporaries, who sat alongside them in their heyday, sitting at the top of the ranks, these funky-clunkies do have potential to be future hits in decades to come. Daring but trend-setting choices.

This post has been significantly updated in 2022 to reflect the change in fashions. All the names below are below the contemporary top 400 in England and Wales.

boys

• Abraham
• Alban
• Algernon
• Alvin
• Ambrose
• Amos
• Archibald
• Arnold
• Augustine
• Augustus
• Basil
• Bernard
• Bertram
• Boris
• Bryn
• Cecil
• Cedric
• Clarence
• Clark
• Clayton
• Claude
• Clement
• Clifford
• Clinton
• Clive
• Colin
• Cornelius
• Cuthbert
• Cyril
• Cyrus
• Digby
• Donald
• Dorian
• Ebenezer
• Edgar
• Edwin
• Emrys
• Eugene
• Eustace
• Ferdinand
• Fergus
• Florian
• Franklyn
• Geoffrey
• Gerald
• Gideon
• Gilbert
• Giles
• Godfrey
• Godwin
• Gregory
• Harold
• Herbert
• Herman
• Horace
• Howard
• Hubert
• Humphrey
• Ivor
• Jeremy
• Kenneth
• Leopold
• Leslie
• Lester
• Lionel
• Llewelyn
• Lloyd
• Lyle
• Malcolm
• Marvin
• Maurice
• Melvin
• Montague
• Montgomery
• Nelson
• Neville
• Nigel
• Noel
• Norman
• Octavian
• Oswald
• Percival
• Randolph
• Raymond
• Roderick
• Roland
• Roger
• Ronald
• Roy
• Rudolf
• Septimus
• Simeon
• Sylvester
• Terrence
• Theophilus
• Trevor
• Quentin
• Valentine
• Vernon
• Virgil
• Wallace
• Walter
• Wilbert
• Wilbur
• Winston

girls

• Agatha
• Agnes
• Augusta
• Araminta
• Avis
• Barbara
• Beryl
• Bessie
• Bernadette
• Betty
• Blanche
• Blythe
• Celia
• Cecile
• Christine
• Clarice
• Clotilde
• Cornelia
• Delia
• Delyth
• Dilys
• Dinah
• Dorcas
• Dora
• Dorothea
• Dorothy
• Edna
• Eileen
• Elspeth
• Enid
• Essie
• Ethel
• Eudora
• Eugenie
• Euphemia
• Fanny
• Freda
• Gertrude
• Gloria
• Glynis
• Greta
• Gwendolyn
• Hester
• Hetty
• Hilda
• Honoria
• Ida
• Irene
• Isadora
• Iva
• Jacqueline
• Joyce
• Judith
• Kathleen
• Lavinia
• Leonora
• Loretta
• Lucille
• Magdalene
• Marcie
• Marian
• Marjorie
• Mathilde
• Maude / Maud
• Mavis
• Mercy
• Millicent
• Minerva
• Muriel
• Myrtle
• Opal
• Patience
• Patricia
• Pauline
• Peggy
• Phyllida
• Phyllis
• Philomena
• Priscilla
• Prudence
• Queenie
• Rhoda
• Rita
• Rosanna
• Rosemary
• Rosetta
• Rosina
• Rowena
• Sally
• Shirley
• Sybil
• Sylvia
• Temperance
• Theodora
• Thomasina
• Thirza
• Thora
• Tilda
• Ursula
• Valerie
• Vera
• Veronica
• Wendy
• Wilhelmina
• Winifred
• Zelda
• Zilla
• Zipporah

Please note, this is not my original list. This is sourced from the now defunct and very much missed British Baby Names blog written by Eleanor Nickerson and all credit goes to her! I've kept this list for my own reference as I loved her site.