• "The only thing that doesn't have physics in it is the devil!"
• "Peace, love, and dope!"
• "It doesn't have to be a bomb, it could be dropping babies... or a package of baby seals."
• "That's the way the cheese is trying to accelerate you."
• "He also invented the endless screw, which is not a porno movie."
• "That's not physics, that's voodoo!"
• "If a wee man came up to you with a sword..."
• "I tell my daughter when she leaves the lights on she's supporting terrorism."
• "Radians will NOT change the answer."
• "You would need 20 Mexicans riding bikes in your basement to power your TV."
• "It's a little damp but not as bad as the old days where you could sniff them and get high."
• "Be the light!"
• "Pretend you are an electron!"
• "Don't worry about the people in the mirror, look at the desk!"
• "I refuse to eat bread!"
• "They say a watched pot never boils but I've watched them and they all do!"
• "Like pokemon. Evolving pokemon."
• Tom "Is that what they're teaching at Middlebury College?

Hanbury "Yes, they're teaching me to be a messenger of God."

• "If a cop pulls you over always agree with what he says unless he asks who the pot belongs to then deny, deny, deny!"
• "The master cylinder tells the slave what to do."
• "Why did you dress up today Tulsi? Nice green shirt, heels and your fake pearls!!"
• "It's like two bubble boys were fighting."
• "I'm an expert ballswinger."
• "Derek, you are to ask one question per class."
• "It's like viagra. It will make it better."
• "The ground is holding you back. It's like the man."
• "Rub your feet against dead rabbits then you'll really get a charge."
• "Fiberglass looks just like candy but don't eat it. But it does look good."
• "Back when I was in boyscouts fishnet underwear was the big thing."
• "What part of 'freaking confused' didn't you understand?"
• "Tom, if you're Harry Potter, can I see your wands?"
• "And that was the big problem because my mom loved the lawn more than she loved me."
• "The best way to peep on somebody is to go out at night."
• "I grew up in a time when we didn't trust Russians. They wrote in their textbooks that Americans burn babies."
• "Maybe I have tourettes or something."