• book fair on Saturday 5/9
• registering for classes at HW soon!
• Boats 'N Hoes party at Dan Davis' house 5/15
• last day of class 5/19 (Semesters to follow)
• graduation!!! 5/29
• graduation party/bonfire(not really looking forward to this) 5/30
• moving out (need to figure out exact date soon)

• freshly baked chocolate chip cookies
• cookie dough
• asparagus with soy sauce
• bagels from Panera w/extra cream cheese
• basil tofu from Thai Hut
• strawberry/mango daiquiri
• toast with real butter

• This pretty shirt
• Dress for homecoming, maybe
• shirt thing
• 1
• 2
• This is on sale
• skirt
• Sandals
• Cape thing
• Skirt and bag
• Headband
• I WANT THIS BAG!

I will add to this.

• I finished our internet scavenger hunt
• This is the only site that I can get on that isn't blocked
• I am sitting by myself
• It's rather funny, actually.

• Braids, in my hair.. or on clothing
• Incense
• Smelly markers
• Boys, and the way they smell
• Dry-erase boards
• Foreign films
• Brick walls
• Flea Markets, and trinkets
• Tangerine lip color
• Sour candy
• Spicy food
• Bonfires, and star gazing
• Camel Filters
• Bamboo plants for good luck
• Lava lamps
• Brown eyeshadow
• Tickle fights
• The internet
• Chow Mein
• Marijuana
• Red wine

and subsequently I cannot listen to right now:

• Cloud Cult
• The Get Up Kids
• Her Space Holiday
• That one Aerosmith song
• Any of the songs we sang on SingStar at Randie's house.

Fuck I'm confused.

• You are amazing. A douchebag, but amazing. I hope we get to hang out more. I really do.
• You better not be lying. I hope we reconnect.
• You are sweet, but you also have a gf. So, we'll see.

Okay I feel better.

• Bedhead curl serum stuff
• Kneehighs/tights
• Blank C-D-R's (haha)
• Brown liquid eyeliner
• Mascara
• Really skinny curling iron

Scarves

• Yellow/gray
• Sapphire
• Amazing
• Ivory

New shoes

• Mary Jane flats
• Elves oxfords
• These from Target!!!
• Peep flats
• Blue moccasins
• And a bunch of cheap random ones from shoe carnival/payless/burlington

In chronological order:

• Adam from St. Louis- We definitely survived a tornado together in my grandparents basement. I met you when I was 2 years old and we took baths together. When we got older you had to drink warm milk before bed. Your mom was terribly English.
• Abby from St. Louis- Your mom and my biological mom were best friends, and the last time I saw you was at the funeral. You were really sweet and loved fish. We used to play in that huge aquarium in your basement. I used to think we were sisters.

Rockford:

• Ashley- We went to school from kindergarten to 4th grade together. And then you moved. We loved playing dress up and pin the tail on the donkey.
• Amber- Everyone made fun of you, but I thought you were awesome. We used to play b...

• Hash Bash
• Amoeba Music
• Elliott Smith
• Bonnaroo
• McCaren pool party

Supplies to buy:

• PAINT (liquitex)16 oz. jars
• A few more brushes
• Canvas
• Oil pastel paper stuff
• Charcoals
• Polaroid film (FUCKERS! I have to use eBay now)

Things to finish:

• Big painting of girl
• Get better at figure drawing
• Some sort of oil pastel?????
• Paint the picture of my brother
• Colored pencil project

Get a cellphone so I can stay in touch with everyone

Buy a backpack:

• Option one
• Option two
• Option three
• Option four

Go school supplies shopping:

• College ruled loose-leaf (a lot of it)
• Spiral notebooks (8)
• Clear plastic binder things (3)
• Black-ink pens (134823984)
• Mechanical pencils (2384275462)
• Note cards (300?)

Re-do my room

No particular order:

• The time where we got 12 people into the drive-in with only 3 tickets to watch the Charlie's Angels movie in CA.
• Laying in the field in my backyard with Emily for like 2 hours trying to figure out what the clouds looked like. We were definitely time traveling. For sure.
• Surfing in California and walking to the surf window TacoBell.
• The night Steph and I watched the Hitcher, drank a bottle of french kiss, and Brice wanted to come over.
• My 6th birthday when everyone played dress up and my cat had babies in my sandbox.
• The first day that Emily and I sat after school and talked. Ha, she makes fun of me for always bringing it up, but whatever.
• The day Steph, Todd, Brice, Mike Farr and...

• Here Comes A Regular- The Replacements
• Twilight- Elliott Smith
• I Will Remember you- Sarah McLaughlan
• In the Arms of an Angel- Sarah McLaughlan
• Now at Last- Feist
• She's Got You- Patsy Cline
• No Surprises- Radiohead
• It's Cool, We Can Still be Friends- Bright Eyes
• Tears in Heaven- Eric Clapton
• In the Backseat- The Arcade Fire
• The Journey- From the movie "The Rescuers"
• April 8th- Neutral Milk Hotel
• Ny Batteri- Sigur Ros
• This House is Not For Sale- Ryan Adams (This is personal, and fucking makes me cry cry cry like a baby)
• Pancakes for One- of Montreal
• Sway- Annuals

For a boyfriend:

• Has the ability to hold a conversation with me, one of substance, or one with no point at all. I guess someone who talks a lot, but not too much.
• Cute smile.
• Likes, or puts up with my friends.
• Decent taste in music. Ok, GREAT taste.
• Has goals, or ambitions. Has a job.
• Doesn't tell me how to live my life.
• Has his own opinions, and isn't afraid if they are different from mine. I like a guy who can hold his ground and not let a girl walk all over him (not that I would do that).
• Not intellectually challenged. I like smart people.
• I love meeting families. I get really nervous, but in the end it feels good to be connected.
• Someone who isn't ashamed of me, and will...

• Perfect From Now On by John Sellers
• I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max
• On the Road: The Original Scroll by Jack Kerouac
• Animal Farm by George Orwell
• Learning to Love you More by Harrell Fletcher
• The Boy From Lam Kien by Miranda July
• Shortcomings by Adrien Tomine
• Like You'd Understand Anyway: Stories by Jim Shepard
• 10 Million Hours a Mile by Miranda July
• Self-Help by Lorrie Moore
• The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2007 by Dave Eggers

• Ezra
• Jude
• Lyric (more of a middle name)
• Sophia
• Luca
• Edan/Eden
• Elliot
• Alison
• Peyton
• Jack
• Oliver
• Bjorn
• Kyle
• Ashton
• Noel
• Lewis
• Grace
• Kennedy
• Delilah
• Louis
• Auden

• Emily Day
• Stephanie
• Chris Ortega
• Emmanuel
• Nicholas
• Cari
• Justin
• Margaux
• Andrea
• Nikki
• Kyle
• David?

• Work party/breakfast
• Lollapalooza (if I can even go...)
• Wrock Chicago (My whole family is going because they love Harry Potter)
• My birthday
• First day of school

• Sad, and kinda lonely.
• Hopeful at the same time?
• Should I be?
• I don't know.
• Sorry and depressed.
• I wish I knew

• I still remember when you told me you loved me more than anything. I often wonder if you were lying, because I wasn't. I miss the old you. You grew up to be an asshole. I wish we were still friends.
• As much as I hate to admit it, I am lonely, and I'm not sure if this is going to last.
• You are kind of boring to hang out with. I don't know what to say to you sometimes, and it's awkward.
• I need to find roommates. I'm afraid to live alone.
• I hope this certain person dies of yellow fever.
• I wish I was in CA right now. With Emily or someone. That'd be nice.
• I don't want to be disappointed again.
• I'm so glad Emily doesn't hate me.
• I wish Steph was still here. Like really here.

• I wasn't there for you
• That I realized that all you do it hurt me
• That I want to do this
• That I don't
• That you misread this

• I swear a lot
• I have a terrible temper, and sometimes throw things
• I make irrational decisions
• I bite my lip and sometimes it bleeds
• I isolate myself when I get mad at people
• I take really, really long showers
• I read like 2983520 books at one time, and confuse the characters sometimes.

• All of the people who stare
• Everything is so touristy
• There are no interesting people, I feel like I've met everyone here
• I'm bored
• My parents spend the day in the Children's museum
• The Starbucks is like twice as expensive
• You have to pay to use the Wifi
• It's 4$/30minutes
• All of the little kids
• The bathrooms are dark

• My mother
• Being underage
• Faith pushers and anything related to Church
• Ignorant fucks who don't care about the environment or politics
• High school
• Improper grammar and small vocabularies
• "The Breakfast Club" fanatics
• Middle aged men who hit on young girls
• My father
• People who treat me differently when they find out I'm adopted
• The whole "straight edge" thing
• Cow's milk

• Elliot Smith
• Jude Law
• Sondre Lerche
• Hugh Laurie
• Conor Oberst
• John Stirratt (everyone likes Jeff Tweedy)
• Emile Hirsch
• Anthony Kiedis
• Kevin Drew
• Devendra Banhart, ha.
• Patrick Fugit
• James Franco
• Jack White
• Jim Sturgess
• Chad Michael Murray (bro)
• Kevin Spacey

• Pushing Daisies
• Skins
• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• House (I have seen approx. 5 episodes so far, and I like it)

• How to love, and keep.
• Why my parents act the way they do, and do the things they do.
• The game of chess
• French, Spanish, Russian
• Why my mom keeps trying to "save me" from the path that I want to be on. I know what I want.. and I am fine, really.
• How someone could do something so horrible.
• Laws of attraction
• The transportation system in Chicago (I will eventually have to know this)
• Why we aren't friends anymore. This really gets me down sometimes.
• How you could move on so quickly
• How I got alcohol posioning from like 8 shots?
• Why the world is round and not flat...

• I hope I never wake up in puke again. Vodka is not my friend.
• I can't fucking remember!!
• My mom found out about pretty much everything.
• I am probably getting a job tomorrow (fingers crossed)
• I need to convince my parents that I am okay
• I need to get my phone back
• Get out of going to Bridges (treatment)
• Buy things when I get my tax return
• I need a new wardrobe
• boy? maybe.
• I don't trust myself right now.
• I like someone, but I don't want to.
• I cleaned my room again today, and found my glasses.
• I also watched American Beauty and Almost Famous again.

• FINISH my colored pencil shading
• Come up with ideas for my mixed media
• Hang out with Emily (duh?)
• Christmas parties
• Chicago
• Drive somewhere interesting (be drove someplace, in my case)
• Not sit around for the first week and a half not doing anything, and then realize that break is almost over, and I have nothing to show for it.
• Figure him out
• Buy a cape (finally)
• Finish Christmas shopping
• Make cookies and throw away marzipan
• Cocoa and peppermint Schnapps!
• Snow angels
• Festival of lights
• Go to the flea market
• Make an "alternative" holiday CD
• Get Emily to make me another Ha-Nukka CD

• I don't know where to start and when to end
• I either can't get into them, or can't get over them
• I always like someone I can't have
• Or someone who has a girlfriend
• Or someone too old
• Or too young
• Or too short
• Or too tall
• I can never seem to find a boy who sticks around
• and has decent taste in music
• and mary jane
• Or dresses decent.
• I need to expand my horizons
• I am a bitch
• I don't like to hang out alone all the time
• People get tired of my indecisiveness
• I break people

• Page France
• Born Ruffians
• The Hood Internet
• Lykke Li
• The Teenagers
• This HORRIBLE cd in art class. It sounds like a dying cow with Evanessence in the background. Some boy brought it in on Monday and we still listen to it.
• Metric
• Micah P. Hinson (Thank you, Emily)
• Really old r&b and rap songs from middle school

• I don't know what I want from you, or how I will get it.
• I'm sick of this bullshit
• I need you around
• You obviously still like her
• I don't know why I hang out with you, or let you do things like that. I don't like you, and I hope you don't get the wrong impression.
• I miss my friends
• I feel sick to my stomach
• I want some orange cranberry juice
• Arm amputation?
• Birth control
• I still have those fucking flowers in my room! They are from January. Wtf?
• I think about things like that all the time, and I should stop, because it makes me sad.
• I am not going to let you walk all over me

• Emily Day- I don't get to see you anymore, but hopefully I will come visit soon. I hate that I can't randomly call you while I'm at work anymore. You get me, for the most part.
• Jaime Balke- You and I get annoyed with each other a lot, but I've got your back, and I can always call you to hang out. I love driving around with you and Nate. And your family is really nice.
• Dillon S.- You are adorable, and I love sitting with you at lunch. You and Spencer can always make me laugh. And your birthmark is real cute.
• Guy Gilbertson- I'm glad we are friends again. You are kind of weird, but I guess in a good way. Ha.
• Andy Brown- I didn't know you lived in my neighborhood until like 2 months ago, and you and I are already good friends. I love everything about hanging out with you...

I hadn't talked to these people in a long time, but recently I've been conversing with them: And it's kind of random.

• Brice
• Omar, apparently Kris10 blocked everything
• Sam
• Lauren

• Riding in the VW bus with Emily
• Emily Day in general
• Sitting after school with everyone like 2 years ago
• When Stephanie and I were best friends, and nothing else mattered. And she didn't think she was better than me. And she didn't try to say that I have no life ahead of me.
• Riding to school with Greg last year. Before Kirsten started riding with us, and even after. I don't know.
• Visiting Nick at Chipotle
• Riding the bus when I went to West
• The activity bus with Taylor Chucknah
• Summer 2007, and everything it entailed
• Spring Break 2008. Sitting in the parking lots, peeing at Sam's Club, and all of that good stuff.
• Brice Kai
• Cari

• Sondre Lereche- "After All"
• The Ladybug Transistor- "Windy"
• Okkervil River- "Do What You Gotta Do"
• Regina Spektor- "Radio"

• Very sad that Emily is leaving
• My head hurts from crying
• Nervous because I hope that apology was sincere
• Anxious for school to start
• Jittery from the 467758 cups of coffee I just consumed
• Hopeful that this year won't completely blow
• Scared that I will lose my job.. but almost hopeful?Haha
• A lot of mixed feelings about tonight
• We'll see what happens?

• Homeroom- Davies
• Consumer Ed.- Bolen
• Art History- Mullin
• Christian Lifestyles/Gym- Easton/Horvat
• H. Art 3- Patterson
• Psychology- Yagle
• Senior Composition- Rozanski
• Study Hall

Uh... yeahh!

• Thanksgiving break - California, hopefully
• Christmas break - North Carolina
• Spring Break- California

To Chicago:[visiting Emily/Cari]

• Mid/End of September for my birthday
• End of October
• Beginning of December
• New Years Eve
• Beginning of February
• Beginning of March
• Beginning of May/ All of May basically

• Stupid people outbidding me on eBay
• eBay on most days
• The fact that they don't make Polaroid film anymore
• Itches
• Bitches
• Not having things to say to people
• Awkward conversations

• Emily is moving to Chicago
• I am sad
• I better be able to visit them at least once a month
• Orrrr, I will throw a fit
• Pineapple Express
• 20 days until my birthday
• 9 months until freedom
• I think I will mooch off of my parents this year for: college application fees, a laptop for graduation, food, a new bed, art supplies, shelter, rides, ect.
• ^^^ Even though I am so ready to leave
• I have my camera back! Yay.
• I read too much :/

No particular order:

• Broken Flowers
• Running with Scissors
• Once
• Wedding Crashers
• Sweet Home Alabama
• Hellboy
• Almost Famous
• Coffee and Cigarettes
• Breakfast at Tiffany's
• Love Actually
• Lost In Translation
• The Ex
• Dedication
• Into the Wild
• Be Kind, Rewind
• The Puffy Chair
• O Brother, Where Art Thou?
• Sicko
• Thank you for Smoking
• I <3 Huckabees

• Almost Famous: Everyone singing Tiny Dancer by Elton John in the tour bus
• Once: The entire soundtrack, but especially Falling Slowly (God I loved this movie)
• Pulp Fiction: Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon by Urge Overkill leading up to the overdose
• Donnie Darko: Mad World by Gary Jules at the end was amazing
• Into The Wild: End of the Road by Eddie Vedder
• The Wedding Singer: Grow Old With You
• Fight Club: Where Is My Mind by the Pixies at the end
• Dazed and Confused: Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith in the introduction of all of the characters
• Anchorman: Afternoon Delight
• Royal Tenenbaums: When Margot gets off the bus to meet Richie and Nico's "These Da...

• Woodstock music festival (all of them)
• Seeing Frank Sinatra sing "Over the Rainbow" or "I'll be Seeing you"
• An eruption of a volcano
• The first performance of "Hamlet"
• Julius Caesar's assassination
• Atlantic City Pop Festival

• I am turned off by clingy people, and yet, sometimes I need to see certain people everyday
• Moms seriously dislike me for some reason
• I am indecisive
• I listen to shit music
• I wear shit clothes
• My parents... enough said
• I tend to talk too much
• I don't drive
• I don't get out much anymore

• Somehow make this last year of high school worth remembering so that when I walk out on my last day I can say that it was worth not dropping out.
• Meet new people that aren't stupid sdjkghfs;gdf.
• Go visit everyone in Chicago at least one weekend per month.
• Graduate/ pass my classes :///
• Get accepted into the school of my choice, whichever it turns out to be. I'm a little indecisive at the moment.
• Get the point across that no matter what you say to me, if you don't matter in my eyes, it probably will not offend me.
• Live in Chicago and go to school. Work at either George Mitchell's Artist snack shop, UO, or something with a great discount :]
• Score an internship
• Stay friends with the people I am friends...

• Oxfords
• Minnetonka
• Blowfish booties

• This backpack
• Amy Winehouse
• Voxtrot
• No one belongs here more than you
• You are a little bit happier than I am
• Eeeee Eee Eeee
• The (people) of paper
• MY HAT! Haha.
• Foggy shirt thing
• A phone... I don't know yet.
• Call me lame..Viva la Vida
• Neutral

• Impossible by Shout Out Louds - This actually made me kind of sad. "I don't want to wake up knowing I don't have a future. Impossible. Your love is something I cannot remember. And there's a first time and a second time, you've got to hold on."
• The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaelson - Love this part, haha. "I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair."
• Soft & Warm by Voxtrot - This song has some of my favorite lyrics, such as "Baby I'd leave you for the person you used to be" and "Everyone has a secret, so bite your mother tongue. And let the truth bleed over you, you wolf in sheep-skin. You can never describe the future, but you can paint the past in shades of blue, or money used with neumonic charm."
• Be Gentle With Me by The Boy Least Likely To - I don't even know, but... "It's a comforting feeling being under someone's t...

• The fact that every time I talk to you, it seems I am not good enough anymore.
• You don't seem to care.
• You worry about me doing something to disappoint you, when really, I think you are looking for an excuse to end this. Just as I am.
• I feel bad.
• The fact that you favor them over me. Well, her in particular. I thought you thought it was annoying how much people idolize her, but now you do the same thing.
• Why are you hanging out with her. She's soooo... I don't even know.
• I need to be less judgmental.
• I'm trying to get it together.

• Why is it that you are so fake to everyone.
• You put on this front so people will like you.
• It drives me insane.
• Why are you friends with her, when 3 weeks ago you couldn't stand her?
• FUCK
• You have bad taste in music
• You are still scene, and it's okay with me.
• Just stop trying to be someone else.
• I wish you'd stand up for me.
• Your mom is a cunt.
• AND, I'm really scared that you are going to change a lot this Summer, and not for the better. And I will have nobody next year. Great.

• Nico: Icon
• Blue Vinyl
• Wasp
• Black Gold
• Dark Days
• Sicko

• Arizona tea
• coffee (black)
• bagels
• POM
• soy milk
• chai
• mashed potatoes
• 7-layer burritos from Taco Bell
• Chipotle
• anything Mexican
• Chinese takeout
• veggie spring rolls
• water

• naming my first daughter after my mother (Laura)
• how lucky I am to have found a guy that treats me well
• I want to learn how to make a marble cheesecake
• maybe moving away from Chicago because no one here talks anymore. I would have to convince Dirk to move with me, but hopefully he will want to as well
• college applications for next year.. if I can get money from the gov. for being emancipated then I will go to art school, if I cant then I think I will maybe become a teacher of some sort
• taking a yoga class
• going on a cruise this Summer
• going to Minnesota with my dad, Danelle and Dirk this Summer
• Dirk said he would take a dance class with me.. haha, that would be a lot of fun

• hair appointment at 9 for highlights
• get nails done at Brenda's house around 12
• braid in my hair/straighten the rest
• get dressed
• Victor picks me up at 2:45
• take pictures around 3:00
• dinner at 5 at Prime Quarter
• pre party somewhere (?)
• dance 8:30-11:30
• go to Angela's for the night

Update: Got completely trashed at Tyler's farmhouse before the dance, went to the dance, went to buy more liquor, went to Angie's, left Angie's and went to Pepper's for a bonfire/party, got more intoxicated, went back to Angie's, drank more, passed out, woke up, McDonald's for breakfast, car accident, more liquor, Kinnikinick park, became more intoxicated as the day went on, drove to Poplar Grove, tried to ...

• It honestly was beautifully bold, like trying to save an ice cube from the cold, but even if we had been sure enough it's true we really didn't know. Even if we knew which way to head but still we probably wouldn't go.
• He said really I just wanna dance. Good and evil matched perfect it's a great romance. I can deal with some psychic pain, if it'll slow down my higher brain. Veins full of disappearing ink, vomiting in the kitchen sink. Disconnecting from the missing link.
• And honestly I miss you and I hope that you're missing me cause I could use your lips on me, and a little bit of Dramamine.
• There is always something better

• Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (required)
• Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton (required/already read)
• Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card (required)
• Side Step Me by Alex Geana
• High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathon Safran Foer
• Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
• The Collected Poems by Zbigniew Herbert
• Like You'd Understand, Anyway by Jim Shepard
• The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid
• Shortcomings by Adrian Tomine
• What is the What by Dave Eggers
• McSweeny's Issue 17 by Dave Eggers
• You Shall Know Our Velocity by Dave Egger...

• Most likely, I will not do anything fun on New Years
• I have gotten rather large
• I have no way of paying for college, and my "parents" aren't going to help me
• My hair desperately needs to be dyed
• I am uninspired, and bored with my life
• I am stupidstupidstupid and miss him
• He is unattainable at the moment
• I want to do something incredible, but I have no clue where to start
• I need to read that Charles Bukowski book that I bought, but I misplaced it (I bought it like 2 days ago!!!)

• Apparently I did a few lines of coke and gave Spencer Carajuana a blow job AND fucked him all within my 20 minute study hall. Lololol.
• And apparently I am lying and starting rumors about me and a certain someone. Not proud of it. Sorry. Wasn't great, and I didn't tell people. So stfu.
• I'm in Chicago in the SAIC computer lab with Emily DAY
• PIE is good
• Yelling outside of Cameron's apartment about stupid boys who know nothing
• Sleeping on the train
• Spending WAY too much $$$ on vinyl at Reckless
• Feeling like a douche for carrying an Urban Outfitters and a Reckless Records bag into SAIC
• Getting my picture taken
• This computer is pissing me off

• Twitter
• You have changed, and I'm proud of you for some reason.
• I haven't changed.. but I've grown up a little.
• Only time will tell
• Love isn't a feeling, it's an ability
• I have no skills
• I need money, but not to buy happiness with.
• I think way too much, and I think about the same things everyday. I go through this story in my head, and convince myself that it is reality. I know it's not. It just hasn't set in yet.
• Abortions save lives from ending wrong
• Realization: NOTHING STAYS THE SAME. But, I can hope that things progress in the same fashion.
• Dec. 3rd?
• I need to do my art history homework

• Apparently my mom/aunt really loves restraining orders, because one was put against my biological dad
• I wished every year on my birthday from ages 9-14 that he would come into my life
• And I blamed him
• He contacted me, and he wants to meet me now
• I am scared
• And really pissed at her
• I want to know him
• I have all of the contact information
• Someone needs to drive me to St. Louis
• Hopefully over Christmas break
• He says he has so many things he wants to tell me
• And I want to know
• I feel so betrayed
• And now I can honestly say that I hate Jan for doing this

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Buy leggings and printed tights
• Finish sewing caplet thing
• Clean my room
• Go to H&M sometime this month
• Write scholarship essays
• Decide what I want to do with my life
• Make new friends
• Visit Shelby at her 1/2way house
• Document the above
• Take pictures for art class
• Finish large girl painting
• Stop spending money on pointless things
• Go grocery shopping
• Lose 18lbs before Christmas
• Pass all of my classes

I really hate this color. Lavender. Eww.

• Bottled water
• Pampered Chef parties
• Divorce
• Juno
• Asian takeout
• Soap Operas
• Graduate school
• Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
• Living by the Water
• Yoga
• Gifted Children
• Barack Obama
• Having gay friends
• St. Patricks day
• San Francisco
• Hating corporations
• Proactiv
• Music Piracy
• Standing in the corner at an awkward party where they are the minority
• Threatening to move to Canada

• Study for Consumer Ed test
• Study for Psychology test
• Do Consumer Ed project by Monday
• Read my art history book
• Make friends with that new girl who has the awesome tote bag
• Carpool with Greg again (possibly)
• Grow magical mushrooms in my closet
• Uh.. yeah

• Are not annoying
• Or self centered
• Who listen, and actually talk to me
• Are not dicks
• Don't have kids already
• Like good music
• Don't ruin my birthday, basically
• Will take me to Chicago to see Emily!

• School shopping tomorrow? Hopefully.
• My birthday on Wednesday
• Bookday on Wednesday
• Kevin comes back on labor day
• First full day of school Sept. 2nd
• Jaime's birthday on Sept. 5th
• Soto thing on the 6th

• Alex Edwards- I kissed you in Kindergarten and the teacher moved me to the other side of the room.
• Jason Meeks- I was infatuated with you from 4th-5th grade. You told me if I lost weight you would date me. That was really mean. Hah.
• Chase- You lived in my neighborhood and I really did like you. We always went to get ice cream downtown CV, and I would hold your hand. Then you moved away, and I cried a lot.
• Peter DeGuzman- I liked you a lot all through middle school, but you were in love with Kelly Sandquist which was cute, but miserable for me. We used to skip lunch together and listen to your CD's. You loved Hellogoodbye and The Killers. We had a lot in common and now that we go to high school together, it's different. You care way too much about what people think, an...

Have Lived:

• St. Charles, MO (I was born there)
• Ft. Meyers Beach, FL (infant)
• St. Louis, MO (infant-3years old)
• Cherry Valley, IL (3-5years old)
• Pleasanton, CA (6 years old)
• Rockford, IL
• Oakland, CA (on and off)
• Walnut Creek, CA (every Summer, up until last Summer)
• Cherry Valley, IL (Currently)

Will Live (prediction):

• Chicago, IL (August of 2009- August of 2013)

Would like to live at some point in the next 20 years:

• California
• Seattle
• NYC (Brooklyn, Greenwich Village, William...

• Shrooms
• Quit smoking cigarettes, maybe
• Road trip to CA
• Take a train across the U.S.
• Move away
• Record a song
• Learn to speak better Spanish
• Learn French
• Learn to play the acoustic guitar better
• Live in a townhouse
• Foster puppies? MAYBE.
• More live music
• Knit a scarf

• Daytrotter
• Facebook
• Listography
• Last.fm
• Twitter
• Postsecret
• News
• Filter

• Been outside of the United States
• Gone on a road trip with friends
• Ate cow tongue
• or brain
• Posed for a calendar
• Bought a Fruitista Freeze
• Worked outside of fast food/carry out
• Been jealous when a boy that I like hangs out with other girls
• Stopped loving him
• Said I love you and not meant it to some extent
• Had Bubble Tea
• Gotten a tattoo
• Wanted my lip pierced for real
• Stopped wanting my Monroe
• Liked living in my parents house
• Had an abundance of people I significantly care about
• Kissed a boy in front of my mom
• Liked pork chops

• Old men who wear short shorts and socks with their sandals
• The feeling of bugs crawling on me
• Insects that bother me whilst doing important things
• Mosquitoes in my ear
• Masks! Like all of them...
• Parents
• Especially ones who sit there and talk to you for hours
• My mother
• When your phone rings, you answer and the other line hangs up without saying anything
• People who stare at me for too long
• Open wounds
• Really mean old people
• Being on the bad side of town when it's dark
• Child molesters
• Blind dates

Figure out how to spend my $:

• Buy more vinyl
• Emily's Mac??
• Clothing
• I can't bring myself to splurge!
• What is wrong with me???

Pick up my school packet:

• Schedule
• Uniform information
• Other pointless shit

Pick up my yearbook tomorrow

• With Emily & Cari
• They have to go to sign the lease

Watch the rest of The O.C. season 1

• Because I am lame
• Annnd, I have no life

Food:

• Mashed potatoes with butter and chives
• Cereal (Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Mini-Wheats)
• Sushi
• Tomatoes
• Grilled cheese and tomato soup
• Basil tofu level 3 with a spice rack on the side from Thai Hut (lol)
• Bagels, pretty much any kind of bagels
• Taco Bell
• Caesar salad with croutons
• Cottage cheese
• Avocados/guacamole
• Veggie burritos from Chipotle
• Jimmy Johns!
• Really crisp red grapes, not the green ones so much
• Tortilla shells

Drinks:

That I actually want to go to:

• SAIC
• Eugene Lang College
• SCAD (I think I'm visiting this Winter break)
• Boston University

Backup schools:

• Columbia College

• The way I overreact to minuscule things. They really don't matter, and it's stupid.
• They way I become attached easily.
• The way that I don't?
• My relationship with my dad.
• My plan for life.
• I'd like to worry less, and care more?
• I'd like to get back in shape :///
• I'd like to go back to school.. now.
• I know I'm strange ^^^^

• Jason Meeks (5th Grade)
• Taylor (6th grade, 8th grade)
• Adam Johannes (7th grade)
• Peter DeGuzman (6th grade- Freshman year. Pathetic)
• Taylor Page (Freshman/Sophmore year) Lol.
• Max Hobbs (Freshman year)

Wow. This is hilarious.

• Salt
• BBQ sauce
• Kenneth Cole cologne
• Hair products, but only some.. others can smell disgusting.
• Fire & Gasoline
• Cookies baking in the oven
• Light cigarette smoke mixed with some sort of food? I don't know.. hard to explain
• Bars, or pool halls.
• Cake lotion stuff

• Someone who understands. Although I hate my mother with a passion, it irks me when people, especially boys that I am interested in, talk trash about her. Yes, she can be unbearable at times, but it shows character when you don't let it get to you.
• Somebody who can keep up with me. I like to inform myself with random knowledge. Any person who can defy me, or agree with an opinion I have, and actually know about that topic, impresses me.
• Someone who I can curl up on the couch, drink a cup of tea, and watch a movie with.
• Someone with a full blown mohawk.
• Someone who doesn't have to try make me happy, but already naturally does.

• Crybabyemokids (no longer exists)
• Emo Girl Talk (haha, don't laugh. This is where I grew to love some of the bands I listen to a lot now. She played Iron&Wine a lot too)
• Indie-cisive (no longer exists)
• Jay's podcast
• Andy's podcast