- 1/1 - Hungover for most of the day, ate a lot of good food, and slept a ton.
- 1/3 - Hung out with Pam, Clarissa, Beck, and Grace. I saw something I did not expect to see at all. Later, I hung out with Pam in my car and we talked about Ferguson and feminism and how shitty everything is.
- 1/4 - Car show with mom & Etis. I decided I totally want a Fiat someday *__*
- 1/6 - Driving most of the day, managed to get a lot of reading done, but I still don't think I'll finish my reading list on time.
- 1/7 - Vegas, buffets, and model homes.
- 1/8 - Saw some massive "luxury" homes. Later, we drove back home and stopped at Peggy Sue's diner
- 1/9 - Hung out with pam and christian and played minecraft for a bit. Holy shit they added so much stuff!
- 1/11 - Sometimes my Photoshop skills are on point
- 1/12 - How long can I avoid seeing my grades?
- 1/13 - Walked around La Jolla with Etis. Stopped at a little bookshop that was crammed with books and purchased The Brothers Karamazov for $3.02. Later, I hung out with Pam, Grace, and Clarissa at sunset cafe.
- 1/14 - signed up for classes and only got 3 out of the 5 that I wanted. Fuuuuuuck. Now I have to take two classes on Shakespeare and one of them requires me to write a 15 page essay. I can't handle this, man.
- 1/16 - Hung out with Paul and Mare, watched anime movies, played a cute video game, and ate a ton of junk food.
- 1/17 - Hung out with Pam at my house and drank tea and just talked
- 1/18 - went to the movies with my mom. I really need to learn how to control my emotions.
- 1/19 - I'm so nervous about school starting on Wednesday. Honestly, I think this is going to be my hardest semester yet, and not just because of all the Shakespeare.
- 1/21 - Shit, I'm already so stressed out and it's only the first day of school -_-
- 1/28 - this is becoming too much for me
- 2/1 - gettin' shit done, son!
- 2/4 - excuse me while I go jump off a cliff
- 2/6 - Bought some new frames today. They're vintage, from the eighties, and super cute. Couldn't get the frames I wanted, though, because they were too big and my prescription is too high :( but I'm still stoked about the ones I chose
- 2/7 - went to Lush at FV with Paul and Mare and bought overpriced shampoo. Then I went to Mike's house and hung out with pam, steven and christian.
- 2/8 - why do I procrastinate everything until the last minute -___- now I have to write my essay and write a blog post for my digital lit class
- 2/9 - honestly, I'm having a tough time managing school stuff. Too many essays and way too much to read -___-
- 2/10 - Sucess!!! and short lived contentment.
- 2/14 - finally someone appreciates my hard work jfc
- 2/15 - hung out with mom, went to eat lunch and saw The Imitation Game. It was good times. Now back to stressing out about school.
- 2/20- I turned 21 today. Went to the AMC near my house that serves alcohol and watched Kingsman (on a side note: is it sad that my first legal drink of alcohol was a mudslide?). Later I went out to dinner with my mom and brother and when I came home pam showed up and we talked for a little (mostly about her life, but what can you do?). Overall it was pretty pleasant.
- 2/21 - I procrastinate way too much, honestly. I told myself I would work on my homework all day and now I'm just barely starting it at 5:36 at night. What am I even doing with my life?
- 2/25 - Damn I'm so productive at 3 in the morning. I've gotten so much done. And all I had to do was drink three cups of green tea and a coke. Go figure.
- 2/27 - Went barhopping with my brother and his friend. Pretty fun except everything was waaaay expensive
- 2/28 - I got my hair cut to about the middle of my neck and at first I hated it, but honestly, I'm starting to dig it. I've got that whole Audrey Horne vibe going on
- 3/9 - I'm so emotionally volatile. What's wrong with me?
- 3/19 - 12:41 am and I just finished my essay. And this is actually early for me. Fuck, when is this semester going to be over???
- 3/24 - My teacher told me for the second time that I should join the honors program and honestly I don't know what to do. I feel like it'll be a lot of work and I'm lazy and writing is hard. ughhhhhhh what should I do???
- 3/25 - Did I say the wrong thing again or am I just overthinking?
- 3/30 - Went to a bar with Jen an Kali. Some drunk dude was all over us which was kind of annoying, but we got some free drinks out of it so it wasn't a total bust
- 4/3 - Celebrated Pam's birthday. We had sushi and drank beers, but she left way early. Which was fine by me because I passed out immediately after she was gone.
- 4/9 - honestly, who even came up with paper proposals? How am I supposed to know what I'm gonna write about before we've even finished reading all of the poems??
- 4/16 - omg kill me, I'm so screwed!!!!!! I can't find any sources for any of my essays. Fuuuuuck I think I'm gonna cry
- 4/18 - Drink a beer, watch northern exposure, and ignore your troubles (at least for a little while)
- 4/23 -Shit I am spending way to much money. I just bought a gameboy 3ds. I'm an adult why do I need this??
- 4/24 - God I hate beer
- 4/25 - Rode around on the trolley all day w/ Paul and Mare, then went to the opera with my mom and Etis and saw "El Pasado Nunca Se Termina"
- 4/26 - I'm getting tired of doing stuff for people and getting nothing in return. I work so hard to help everyone and people just abuse my generosity. This sounds very whiny but it's true
- 4/27 I'm so done with school. Especially Digital Literature. My teacher is incredibly unhelpful and confusing (not to mention condescending). I've had to change my project proposal so many times because she hates all my ideas. I just don't know what she wants and every time I meet with her I end up getting more confused and annoyed. ugh
- 5/1 - it's hard to write 3 research essays, make a powerpoint, read a play, and write two 300 word blog posts in under 3 days when you're always tired and suffering from stress/some kind of mental fatigue. All I can do now is drink loads of coffee and try not to hyperventilate
- 5/2 - Boardwalk empire is so good, honestly. I don't even know how it's possible but this show makes Steve Buscemi seem attractive (not to knock Steve Buscemi. He's a really nice guy, just not the sexiest)
- 5/3 - I've incurred so many late fees this semester it's ridiculous. I'm going to owe a small fortune to the public library, let me tell you.
- 5/4 - I'm feeling pretty good today, mostly because I've decided to push all my assignments to before the day they are due. The problem is, I know that tomorrow is going to suck because now I have to write my Tempest paper then instead of now. And let me tell you, Procrastination sure is fun until you find yourself writing an eight page paper at 2 in the morning.
- 5/11 - I have a project due in three days and my group mates are total flakes. Like wtf are you guys doing? we don't have time to dick around.
- 5/13 - I'm so fucking screwed omg
- 5/14 - Joey...
- 6/1 - finally back from costa rica. I thought I'd feel better, but I'm just bummed out.
- 6/2 - hung out with pam and christian; had good wine and talked on my front porch
- 6/3 - hung out with pam and clarissa; stayed up until 1 AM talking about random stuff.
- 6/6 went to mitsuwa with mare and paul. bought a bunch of cool stuff like melon soda and The Castle of Cagliostro
- 6/7 - i keep telling people about my essay in the hopes that it will force me to start working on it, but i'm just so uninterested that I don't even try
- 6/16 - went to LA with paul and mare for an early screening of inside out. While we were there we went to Little Tokyo and I bought a tiny stuffed hamster, some lychee soda, and a bag of green tea kit-kats. Later, after the movie, we hung out with paul's boyfriend and ate ramen and mcflurries. Then after the sun had set, we drove to the top of a hill that overlooked the whole city (from up there it looked like a blanket of stars)
- 6/18 - Haven't talked to pam in a while, I wonder what that's about. Also I really need to start working on that essay like omg
- 6/30 - aaaah my face is all red D:
- 7/1 - applying for jobs and getting things done. I'm making the best of my confinement
- 7/15 - Went to La Mesa and had a CA burrito for lunch. Found an awesome book store that sells first editions and bought the complete short stories of Flannery O'Conner (not a first edition but still neat). I also got this pretty sundress for only 5 bucks but its too tight around my breasts so now I don't know what to do :(
- 7/16 - A new job may be on the horizon and I'm pretty stoked about it
- 7/18 - Hung out with Paul and played Animal Crossing and watched weird/cute anime
- 7/19 - self-care day. Watched cute, frivolous rom-coms and drank iced tea
- 7/20 - This new job is already giving me anxiety :(
- 7/22 - I'm so depressed b/c I don't want to go back to university. I know I have to (and I know that I should feel grateful for even getting to go) but I'm honestly just so tired of feeling anxious and scared all the time
- 7/26 - Had a real "yikes" moment today. Hung out with Pam and drank margaritas and ate pizza. Then I ended the night by getting drunk by myself and Facebook stalking N.
- 7/27 - Went to FV with my cousins; ate clam chowder and walked until my feet hurt.
- 7/28 - I haven't done anything productive this whole summer and that really bums me out
- 7/29 - headed up to LA to hang with my cousins and realized I definitely don't want kids
- 7/31 - went down to long beach and saw the Queen Mary. I also really need to get my life together...
- 8/12 - Got drunk on Sangria and then went to a concert with my mom
- 8/13 - Bought Absinthe (fuck yeah!) and then went to dinner at a super fancy restaurant where I ate octopus and cannoli
- 8/15 - I need a haircut and also I'm really depressed
- 8/20 - Hung out with Paul and helped her find her classes for next semester. It's weird, but I actually felt pretty content today.
- 8/22 - Ngl i wish someone would run me over with a truck!
- 8/25 - i fucking hate school when is this shit going to end??????????
- 8/27 - i can't get myself to care anymore
- 9/3 - I'm so disappointed, I could cry. All my hard work has been pointless. What's the point of trying anymore?
- 9/11 - I need to shut the fuck up forever
- 9/12 - I'm pretty bitter, but so what?
- 9/17 - I thought for sure he was flirting with me but now I'm confused. ugh I need to stop doing this. When will I ever learn???
- 9/19 - I'm so energized at 3 am. I wish I only had night classes so I could stay up late and sleep all day. But instead I'm stuck with a 9 am math class :/ lame...
- 9/21 - I have a crush on one of my professors. He's like 10 years older than me. Goddammit I need to chill the fuck out
- 9/23 - fuck essays tbh this is going to be the worst thing i've ever written
- 9/24 - fuuuuuuuuck my life! i cracked my phone screen :'(
- 9/25 - I'm having a rough week
- 9/26 - I can't decide if I feel good or not. While I enjoy being open and honest, talking about my feelings/emotions always leaves me feeling embarrassed. I wish it didn't have to be that way.
- 9/28 - I've had "Cielito Lindo" stuck in my head all weekend.
- 10/1 - I've made it through the first week of midterms! Also I really want to buy Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer. But then at the same time I want to fix my phone screen so I don't know what to do :/
- 10/3 - I always leave feeling depressed.
- 10/6 - So I got the game and I sort of regret it, but also I don't regret it at all because I'm having a great time
- 10/7 - How do I get my brain to stop thinking? How do I stop myself from reliving these painful memories? How???
- 10/15 - lmao what the fuck am I doing with my life
- 10/17 - Played escape the room games with Mare and Paul. I honestly don't have the patience for this kind of stuff.
- 10/18 - Fuck essays tbh
- 10/21 - God, he is so cute, it's torture
- 10/30 - My professor liked my essay, so now I feel a lot better about myself. It's funny how, in high school, I never cared about what my teachers thought of me and now that I'm in college I constantly crave approval and recognition
- 10/31 - made cronuts with paul and mare and watched really weird horror movies. Stayed up the whole night.
- 11/1 - Here's what happens when I don't sleep: I have mood swings, I say dumb/embarrassing things that give me social anxiety, I get depressed, and I feel suicidal. As you can imagine, I've had a terrible day.
- 11/2 - I never quite got over my freshman nihilism phase
- 11/5 - I'm running out of things to say.
- 11/6 - I'm too quiet; that's my biggest problem
- 11/7 - FUCK EVERYTHING
- 11/8 - If only he didn't have a girlfriend...
- 11/13 - Still terrible but not as terrible as I thought. I wish someone else would drive for once, though. I'm tired of being the chauffeur and nobody seems to appreciate my efforts. They don't even help pay for gas. Honestly, I hate it when people abuse my generosity.
- 11/14 - I'm such a bitter person
- 11/16 - Ugh fuck this class I don't care anymore -_- The teacher may be cute but his class is a draaaaaag
- 11/20 - I hate the night. All my accumulated fear and regret keeps me up and I can't sleep. I can only lay there and panic.
- 11/22 - I just got done with writing my essay. Not as terrible as it usually is.
- 11/23 - I just realized I only have 3 more weeks of school. I'm surprisingly sad. I'm not ready for my last semester of college :(
- 11/27 - My goal in life is to sleep more hours than I'm awake
- 12/2 - Fuck men!!! Why are they all so disappointing?
- 12/3 - blah blah blah I don't care anymore
- 12/4 - I'm so ready for this semester to be OVER
- 12/7 - uuuuughhhhh I just have to make it through this week
- 12/12 - I'm panicking and I want to cryyyyyy
- 12/15 - Panicking and Crying: part 2
- 12/16 - I just took my last final and it was a disaster. I'm sure it wasn't that bad, but I feel like it sucked. Anyway, it's over now and I can finally make alcoholic milkshakes and get absolutely shitfaced drunk. Beautiful :)
- 12/17 - "Everything is fine," she says as everything is literally not fine at all
- 12/18 - I love wearing makeup and putting it on but I hate that it makes me break out so badly :(
- 12/19 - I wish things had turned out differently between us...I wish I could stop wanting you
- 12/21 - Christmas crackers, sushi, and the Peanuts movie with Paul and Mare. It was a really pleasant day, tbh
- 12/22 - I'm seriously thinking of taking a class next semester just because the teacher is cute. Wtf is wrong with me? I'm so thirsty
- 12/23 - Feats of strength and festivus miracles
- 12/24 - All in all, not a terrible Christmas eve
- 12/25 - My mom is so embarrassing when she gets tipsy
- 12/26 - There are only 4 people who I actually enjoy talking to. Everyone else just drains me of energy/makes me feel depressed.
- 12/27- So I've been working on a project lately and I'm pretty excited about it! I'm also really stressed because of it
- 12/29 - How can these people be so perfect?
- 12/30 - I'm bitter, yes, but I'm allowed to be bitter about this
- 12/30 - Ending 2015 with a massive panic attack, a great conclusion to another great year
jan 1 2015 ∞
jan 1 2016 +