• concentrate on being "open" via body language
  • sit & stand w/ open arms (never crossed ones)
  • this indicates to others that you're ready to listen
  • also keep your facial expressions "open" as well -- your countenance should be easy, relaxed, and positive
• use sincere, easy eye contact
  • avoid sporadic eye contact (which distracts & seems suspicious)
  • to appear truthful & invested, make consistent eye contact during conversation, but don't hold it for too long either --> research says ideal eye contact lasts bewteen 7-10 seconds & is maintained during conversation between 70-80% of the time
• watch your tone
  • tone is one of the most important ways we subtly communicate trustworthiness or lack thereof
  • your tone can make you seem rushed or bored, but it can also help you come off as patient, kind, and energetic when done right
  • soothing, calm voice is most appealing, whereas a high-pitched, fast-paced manner of speaking is less desirable
  • much work is done without face-to-face contact these days, so minding your tone is more important than ever
  • it's best to slow down & keep your pitch low
• don't forget to smile
  • nothing shows trustworthiness like warmth & nothing conveys a softer side more than a sincere & genuine smile
  • yes, you want to show you're professional, capable & that you take the work seriously, but if you really want to put others at ease - a smile is the key
  • if you appear relaxed, others will follow your lead & relax, too
  • genuine, easy, frequent smiling goes a long way toward helping others to view you as kind & trustworthy

your nonverbal communication includes:

• your body language (how you carry yourself)
• your handshake
  • should be firm, not limp
  • should be accompanied with confident eye contact & a smile
• your posture & sitting style
  • keep your back straight
  • lean forward slightly to indicate interest
  • do not recline back into the chair fully (can make you seem bored or disengaged)
  • avoid crossing your arms or placing items in your lap -- these habits indicate defensiveness, nerves, and a need for self-protection (when what you'd ideally convey is confidence)
  • avoid slouching
• your “paralanguage” – the elements of your speech besides the words, such as your intonation, speaking speed, pauses, sighs, and facial expressions
• nonverbal communication also includes your attire, body odor & grooming

body language tips

• suppress restless habit
  • this includes clicking, tapping, gripping pens, etc.
  • all will appear unprofessional/impolite & convey nerves
• do: use your hands
  • it's natural to talk with your hands, and doing so (without being distracting) can make you appear more personable & animated
  • it's good to display some animation with your hands & facial expressions to project a dynamic presence
• listen with your eyes
• in group settings, rotate eye contact to the various speakers
• introduce yourself (first!) with a smile & a firm handshake
  • if someone doesn't introduce you, take the initiative to introduce yourself first & extend your hand
• keep your hands away from your face & hair
• listen carefully and do not interrupt
• modulate your vocal tone to express excitement/engagement & to punctuate key points (monotone will lull your listener to sleep)
  • ! steer clear of monotone delivery
• nod to demonstrate understanding
• observe the reaction of others to your statements
• smile (often) to indicate you're amused or pleased with the conversation/interaction
• stay calm & composed (even when you're nervous)
• subtly mirroring others' body language can make you appear more trustworthy to them
• lack of eye contact is a sign of low confidence & an inability to truly engage with others

when leading a meeting or speaking to a group, recognize that nonverbal cues can tell you:

• when you’ve talked long enough
• when someone else wants to speak
• the mood of the crowd & their reaction to your remarks

body language tips for women:

• “no (head) tilt—that’s subordinate. keep your head straight as the man’s usually is.
  
  your face neutral & only nod and smile if and when there’s a reason to.”
• start creating more space for yourself
  • if you’re standing and have your hands together at your waist, try having your elbows out a bit so that they create space
  • if you’re sitting in a meeting, try putting your elbows on the table & putting your hands together so that you’re making a mountain
• avoid clenching your hands (communicates nerves & tension)
• stop questioning yourself --> your tone, or how you sound when you’re speaking, is responsible for nearly 40% of your words’ impact
  • avoid upspeak (rising intonation at the end of a statement that makes it sound like a question, which makes you sound unsure of what you’re saying); speed talking; and hedging (ending your statements with qualifiers & questions like, 'don't you think?' & 'right?')

✩ note: when a great communicator approaches a co-worker, he/she takes the time to say, “good morning” & “how’s your day going?”

• the effect of the relationship-building forays is incalculable --> the speaker demonstrates that, no matter how busy or overextended they are, they have time to care about others

✩ gain trust in your everyday interactions by consistently communicating your integrity, honesty, and openness

✩ practice your body language (posture, eye contact, gestures, position, etc.) as much as you can (every interaction is an opportunity to practice/refine)

✩ practice deep & focused listening with every person you interact/communicate with (instead of rehearsing your response while the other person's speaking, focus your mind & attention on asking questions to clarify & understand what the person's saying)

✩ practice noticing/observing others' body language & nonverbal communications (stop your hurry long enough to recognize when someone's body language is inconsistent w/ the words being spoken)

• grow accustomed to interpreting body language as a means to understand a person's complete communication (with practice, you'll get better)

✩ start paying more attention to your own emotions --> analyze how you respond in emotional situations