• sending a child to school with a bag of about 300 mini marshmallows as a lunch
  • allowing a 6 year old to watch "The Hurt Locker"
  • giving your child his mother's glasses to wear instead of his own. BECAUSE THAT WILL WORK.
  • sending your child on a field trip with a bag of cheetos as lunch
mar 16 2010 ∞
apr 24 2010 +
  • cream machine
  • prehistoric death machine
  • bag device
jul 23 2007 ∞
jul 23 2007 +
  • i was being forced to shoot my best friend (not heather, a dream best friend) at a party. for some reason i was a man. when I went to shoot him (in the back nonetheless) my gun didn't work. i opened the chamber of he revolver i was using and blood poured out. i pulled out a bullet and realized that the gun wouldn't work because all of my bullets were full of blood that i could literally pour out of them. i went to the man that was forcing me to kill my friend and told him i couldn't do it so he pulled a gun on me so i had to explain that i had tried but couldn't. he had me luer my best friend into a back room of the house we were in and instead of me shooting him, he did.
  • i had a date. before he came i woke up and was running late. i had to wash my face because i had apparantly cried in the middle of the night and that had gotten mas...
apr 18 2007 ∞
nov 30 2007 +
  • lemon bars from tart to tart. mostly bar, little lemon.
apr 4 2007 ∞
oct 19 2007 +
  • logorrhea/ verbal diarrhea/ word vomit. I always get a visual picture of the words the person is saying coming out of their mouth. usually in Times New Roman font.
  • Sesquipedalian. using long words. because it is a long word. to describe using them. there must be a word for that too...
  • Absa-fuckin-lutely. Fan-freakin-tastic. basically, the insertion of other words into a word for emphasis. (by the way, the word for doing so it tmesis)
  • Bass Akwards. Nuckin Futs. The switching of the beginning of words which lends itself nicely to the actual meaning of the words.

that's all for now.

jan 26 2007 ∞
feb 6 2007 +

I would be more than willing to bear the children of any of the following people, just so I could be part of the awesomeness.

  • ratatat. both of them. the brilliance would be overwhelming.
  • timbaland. beats man, beats.
  • pharrell williams. he's just all over the place and it's all good.
  • atmosphere. (slug to be specific)not necessarily super hot but his lyrics, style and delivery are so smooth and passionate i can't help but want him.
  • the black keys. again, both of them. the baby making would hopefully happen while they were relatively clean shaven.
jan 23 2007 ∞
jan 23 2007 +

However short, something was learned...

  • The Build Up- I need someone who loves life as much as I do.
  • Mr. No Touching- I like Vodka Gimlets.
  • Camera Dude- I really appreciate someone who has a strong/ dominant personality so I don't always end up in that role.
  • The Irishman- I remembered that I really do enjoy sex!
apr 10 2010 ∞
apr 24 2010 +

some are touristy, some aren't, but either way i feel i woud be a better citizen for having done them.

  • walk the bridge. lately it's something I really want to do.
  • go to alcatraz.
  • coit tower. i really don't believe it actually exists as every time we've tied to drive there it proves to be impossible.
  • Folsom Street Fair.
  • Free movies around the city in the summer
  • Osento! yay naked lady spa
  • Bring Your Own Bigwheel
may 18 2007 ∞
apr 10 2010 +

The credit for these exposures goes to many people whom I thank with all of my heart for, without your dedication and lack of shame or common decency, this list would not be possible.

  • The Fishbowl
  • The Nest
  • Steps of Rome
  • Hallway of HSS building
  • Naan 'n' Curry (the 24 hour one downtown)
  • The Minestry
  • Popscene
  • 6 Flags Magic Mountain (The Batman ride to be specififc)
  • Naan 'n' Curry (on Irving)
  • Kyle's room
  • Susan's room
  • Pantea's room
  • Clement street from the car in front of Genki
jan 20 2007 ∞
feb 13 2010 +
  • ludacris "moneymaker": 'let me give you swimming lessons on the penis. back stroke, breast stroke, stroke of a genius.'
  • bloc party "Sunday": 'I love you in the morning, when you're still hungover. I love you in the morning, when you're still strung out.'
  • justin timberlake "my love" (t.i.'s rap): 'Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire'
  • nelly furtado "Promiscuous": 'Chivalry is dead but you're still kinda cute.'
feb 12 2007 ∞
apr 19 2007 +
  • hipsters have wierd hair

your pants are too tight, man. want a PBR? (alt 2nd line: i know more music than you)

  • whales deep below us

underneath our boat. uh-oh. your mother's a whore.

  • what is in that cave?

someone should go check it out. ~shove~ what? sluts die first.

mar 1 2007 ∞
feb 13 2010 +
  • Ohmged. No. It's bad enough that you are saying an internet acronym which should only ever be typed (which I am sometimes guilty of myself so I'm not throwing stones about that...), you are trying to turn it into an actual word. No.
  • Fresh. Sorry, the only things that should be decribed as "fresh" are usually edible. Or flowers. Not much else.
  • These ones. "One" is not a word that can be made plural. (unless for some reason you have physical "ones" ie cut out of paper or whatnot.) It is one. No more, just one. You can say "these" or "that one," but never "these ones". Probably only bothers me because as a child my mom always corrected me when I said this. Don't worry, I won't actually correct you if you say it, I'll just be dying a little inside.
jan 24 2007 ∞
feb 13 2010 +

The things I do that are just a little dumb but it kinda makes sense that I would do it.

  • count of locking my keys in my car with the engine running:3
  • super glued a silk flower to my finger while trying to fix my hair clip
  • broke the irishman's towel rack while using it for support to reach the soap on the counter while still in the shower
  • melted the plastic/rubber handle of a knife not just to, but AROUND the heating element in my dishwasher and had to saw it off
apr 18 2010 ∞
apr 18 2010 +

I'm a teacher who will most likely be pink slipped and without a job next year. It's a little scary but is giving me the opportunity to rethink what I want to be doing. Your suggestions are more than welcome.

  • get 2nd bachelors & then masters in psychology
  • apply to other districts

NO ONE is hiring right now...

  • nanny
  • teach in a foreign country

~need to check out teachers w/o borders

  • year up
  • autism behavioral mod
  • open a bar
  • special ed aid
feb 13 2010 ∞
apr 21 2010 +
  • Did you know Filipino boys are good dancers? That means I'm a good dancer. Jasper too.
  • 1st grader doing science: I can't believe I'm touching real grass!
  • first grader to me: you know a weiner?

Me: pardon? Him: you know, a weiner. Me: what do you mean "a weiner"? Him: you know, your body part between your legs you use to go pee. (complete with hand motion) Me: well I don't have one because I'm a girl, but yes, I know what you are talking about. Him: really? You don't? Me: nope. Boys do, girls don't. Him: why? Me: it's just the way we're made. Him: ok. Well, is it bad to call it that? Me: it's not the nicest thing, but it's not the worst thing you could call it either. Him: oh, ok!

  • Jason, a 3rd grader, is stuck on the prob...
apr 27 2007 ∞
may 2 2010 +

let me know if you can see a way in which i could market these for profit.

  • decoupage.
  • taking my socks off without using my hands.
  • blowing bubbles off my tongue.
  • cutting strawberries with a spoon.
  • locking my keys in my car with the engine running. (seeing as this has happened multiple times (3) without me even trying, i think it is a skill by default)
  • getting the hiccups. (mind you,NOT getting RID of them, just getting them.)
jan 20 2007 ∞
mar 21 2007 +

Please feel free to create interesting sentences using the words...

  • 1/19/2007

yeasty \YEE-stee\, adjective:

+Of, pertaining to, or resembling yeast. +Not yet settled or formed; immature or incomplete. +Marked by agitation or change. +Frothy or trivial; frivolous. +Full of vitality; exuberant.

We are living in the time of the parenthesis, a great and yeasty time, he concluded. "Make uncertainty your friend." Bill Sweetman, "A yeasty time", Interavia Business & Technology, July 1, 2001

In that yeasty time in the mid-sixties when I went to work as a reporter in Paris, the world was about to pop. Raymond Sokolov, Why We Eat What We Eat

I see you bubbling all over the place -- you're yeasty, and I think it's grand! Joan Anderson, A Year by the Sea

jan 20 2007 ∞
feb 3 2007 +