user image

23 . bristol . psychology student .

"distractions are not a break from life - they are life"

Olivia follows:

sitting ill autistic? either option, overstimulated waiting for relief in the form of tea water... a burger has been bought the music was playing out loud while i had headphones in oh wow if that isn't an indicator i dont know what is why did i quit coffee?

not everything about me is dysfunction i am clumsy, i am cluttered but sweet like a peach and bruise just as easily

sometimes i think its quire sad that people dont ever want to find out about where the marks on my body come from they see the self harm and keep quiet that i have arms and legs at all

what about the other marks? the marks from being a normal kid? falling over and grazing my knee, tripping on a step, cutting my hand on the edge of a bus seat

may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

Finances

  • ISA, 1 year fixed term (1.21%): £1200
  • Start To Save 24 months: £300 (£50-100 monthly)
  • Cull subscription services: Spotify Premium (£4.99) and Amazon Prime (3.99) monthly
  • Save for travel: Australia £600 total (Monzo pot)

Education

  • GCSES: * at C+
  • AS Levels: BB English Lit and Psych
  • Welsh Bacc (did not complete) -
  • University: foundation year (pass), first year (pass) Glyndwr; first year (pass) UWE
  • Look into NVQs and BTECs
may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

7-8: get up, stretch, do yoga, drink water, write or read9: shower, have breakfast and tea10: check/create a to do list for the day, admin (emails/messages)11: uni work - focus for 30 min, 5-10 minute break and/or tea12: uni work - focus for 30-60 minutes1: lunch time - caffeine cut off!2: chores - clean, tidy, or organise; wash up, laundry, etc. check to do list3: sleepy hour - podcast or read book, or youtube videos4: uni work - focus for 30 minutes5: music and dancing! prep for dinner6-7: eat, then wash up8: leisure time - art, netflix, phone calls9: shower (if not in morning) or bath, moisturise, self care - hair, nails, dry brush, cbd10: bedtime

may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

dreary and disillusioned, tired of the confusion honesty in increments what a waste of time i had spent

may 23 2019 ∞
may 23 2019 +

apathy, empathy cloud variations

somewhere along the line i stopped drinking coffee in a world where so many things are bitter so many people bitter i wanted to stay sweet instead i sip on licorice tea, powering through the inevitable headache that sober reality brings and think of you so often of you and i realise the meaning of bittersweet

may 23 2019 ∞
may 23 2019 +
may 13 2019 ∞
may 23 2019 +

"essential":

  • magnesium gel (BetterLife)☑
  • activated charcoal (veggie capsules)
  • zinc (best absorption - picolinate)
  • vegan multi-vitamin ☑
  • arnica
  • essential oils ☑
  • apple cider vinegar (with the 'mother')☑
  • vegan probiotics
  • rhodiola ☑
  • 100% jojoba oil
  • natural deodorant (Lush Aromaco)☑
  • henna (cassia, for hair)
  • astralagus root
  • reishi mushroom
  • amla powder (hair, skin)
  • maca powder (energy)☑
  • myofascial roller (jade roller)☑
  • milk thistle (save my liver)☑
may 10 2019 ∞
may 10 2019 +
list icon
  • travel around in a VW type van
  • get at least five tattoos
  • publish a book
  • finish university with a good mark
  • embrace and heal shadow self
apr 8 2019 ∞
apr 8 2019 +

APRIL GOALS.

  • minimalism
  • daily yoga
  • art, music, expression
  • alone time
  • a book a week/two weeks?
  • Book 1: Anna Karenina (finished 24%, retired for now)
  • Book 2: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (finished on 19th)
  • Book 3: Good Omens
may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

My Worldly Possessions:

VESSEL.

  • things to cleanse, moisturise and 'improve' my body
    • skincare, haircare, bodycare, tooth hygiene
  • enough clothing to last me two weeks without doing laundry

MIND.

  • books, digital tools to keep learning and growing mentally/cognitively
  • laptop, phone and charges
  • psychology books and notebooks
  • art supplies
  • guitar
  • momentos from the past

SOUL.

  • diffuser + essential oils
may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +
  • uni work: meet all deadlines
  • workouts 2-3x weekly
  • laundry 1-3x monthly
  • fresh air and sunlight daily
  • 8-9 hours sleep daily
  • 3 meals daily
  • socialise with at least 3 people daily

Mastery Movement Mindfulness Meaningful engagement.

DRINK 3 LITRES OF WATER.

Look into...

  • dental care - braces, filling, whitening (kit), flossing, brushing
  • online courses (NVQs or equivalent)
  • saving up
  • accommodation next year (studio or with friends/strangers)

Hobbies...

  • read
may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +
  • writing
  • art
  • meditation
  • sleeping
  • taking care of my body
  • being honest
  • being kind
  • nothing that i do not want to do
may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

potassium magnesium calcium B12 DHA Iron Zinc K2

may 23 2019 ∞
may 23 2019 +
  • start being aware of positive, supportive things you can already depend on. things that make you feel protected, happy, good... (my friends, family, dogs)
  • desensitise your amygdala
    • behave as though you are not under threat, not anxious
    • use new thinking (but don't force thoughts to go away)
    • unlearn "negativity bias" and develop "positivity bias"
  • stimulate your vagus nerve
    • exercise
    • positive social relationships (thinking compassionately about others, positive statements)
    • cold exposure (drinking ice cold water, cold showers)
    • gargling (until tearing up occurs)
may 23 2019 ∞
may 23 2019 +

DVDS

  • Fame
  • About Time
  • Doctor Who
  • Glee
  • Serenity
  • Enchanted
  • The Princess Bride
  • Corpse Bride
  • Horrible Bosses
  • Alice in Wonderland
  • Clueless
  • Year One
  • Stardust
  • Scott Pilgrim vs The World
  • Little Women
  • The Secret Garden
  • Hocus Pocus
  • Coraline
  • Sweeney Todd
  • Peter Pan
may 10 2019 ∞
may 13 2019 +
  • ISTDP - John Frederickson: The Lies We Tell Ourselves
  • get a new bank account! Natwest
  • 10.26.67.92
  • five easy pieces, 1970
apr 28 2019 ∞
apr 29 2019 +

Journey to Zero Waste

may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

Grocery List.

  • fruit: apples, bananas, satsumas, blueberries, raspberries
  • vegetables: carrots, peppers, tomatoes, onions, garlic, spinach, kale, broccoli, mushrooms, peas, potatoes, sweet potatoes
  • beans etc: chia seeds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, linseed, almonds, sesame seeds, hemp seeds; kidney beans, chickpeas, haricot beans, butter beans, baked beans; lentils; cashew nuts, peanuts, brazil nuts
  • grains: wholewheat bread, oats, quinoa, brown rice
  • treats: dark chocolate
  • dairy alternatives: cheeze, plant milk (soya unsweetened)

cupboard staples: tofu, falafel, hummus, olives, coconut milk, soy sauce, dandelion vegan honey, herbal teas and spices: ginger, parsley, sage, thyme, rosemary: cha...

may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

Buying Urges.

  • glasses
  • lash and brow tint
  • headbands for gym, for spa, floral
  • socks (long and normal)
  • teeth whitening kit
  • hair bleach
  • hair silver/purple toner
  • collar/choker
  • phone
  • laptop
  • hiking boots
  • trainers
  • birkenstocks
  • jars
  • plants
  • leg/hair removal sugar wax (or make own)
  • lipstick
  • moisturiser
  • toner spray bottle
  • protein powder
may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +
  • cologne
  • copenhagen
  • florida
  • tenerife
  • france
  • lake district
  • bala
may 1 2020 ∞
may 1 2020 +

i am powerless under the illusions of:

  • drugs
    • alcohol
    • cannabis
    • nicotine
    • valium
    • to a lesser extent, mdma & ket
  • relationships
    • love
    • attention
    • care
  • money
    • saving it
    • spending it
    • calculating it
  • food
    • sugar
may 23 2019 ∞
jan 25 2020 +

a rare silence, a sudden quiet the stillness of it - the unfilled unpresent

365 suns and moons have passed and nothing has changed everything has changed

why have you not returned? there is room to sleep, here you can spread eagle under the plastic of my waterproof ribcage where the rain can't get in, the pain

i'd let you smoke a rollie anywhere you'd like if you came back

i'd give you the vibes you wanted

may 23 2019 ∞
may 23 2019 +

it's hard to think about it, talk about it i struggle to write it down i flinch when memories cross my mind

snuggled up with my sadness valerian, hops, stronger stuff

where does all this sadness go?

tell me how to reach you im drowning in hellos, i miss you, our goodbye was fucking ridiculous

i want a do over

we just needed a proper chat i just needed a real talkng to

wanting to shed this mask of functioning hang it up to multiply

may 13 2019 ∞
may 13 2019 +

cycle:

  • 1-15 days follicular phase (higher estrogen, lower progesterone & testosterone)
    • 1-7th day: menstruation, tender. Waning Crescent, New Moon
    • pumpkin & flax seeds absorb excess estrogen
    • tender, moisturise and steam
    • 8-15th day: highest pain threshold, exfoliate and hair removal
    • Waxing Crescent, First Quarter
  • 16-28 days luteal phase (higher progesterone & testosterone, low estrogen)
    • 16-23rd day: pms symptoms! Waxing Gibbous, Full Moon
    • sesame & sunflower seeds increase progesterone
    • 24-28th day: pms symptoms! higher oil production = break outs. Waning Gibbous, Las...
may 10 2019 ∞
may 10 2019 +