- There were huge glasses of vodka disguised as bloody marys when a coworker tried to get me drunk. I puked in his washer.
- There were tequila poppers in the mid-nineties that led me to believe that peeing on Bellingham's sidewalks was a good idea.
- There was banana rum with cream soda. They went down way too easy and I got super aggressive with a racist asshole.
- There were two kegs of Budweiser that contributed to RH cracking her skull open, her ride in the ambulance, birthday boy almost chopped his finger off, and a "friend" ran up my phone bill with calls to a sex chat operator.
- There were 40s of Lucky Lager when I didn't think twice about teasing a scary tweaker about his back sheath and singing He-Man. "I have the power!"
- There was cooking sherry that one girl drank then puked everywhere and no one would clean it up, so I did. Eww.
- There were sake bombs that gave TK alcohol poisoning and had her puking all over herself. Making matters worse, I accidentally washed her phone.
- There were many bottles of cheap blackberry wine around 2000 I tried to use to escape Lake Symington's crushing loneliness.
- There were Meyers and Coke with lime that gave me self pity which my boyfriend at the time used as his excuse for breaking his hand punching my fireplace. Dick.
- There were shots Jägermeister, Rumplemintz, and Goldschläger. I felt fine until I stood up. I don't remember how I got home from Seattle.
- There were vodka cranberries that got my ass dancing on a pool table with a prostitute in a cockroach infested bar.
- There was 100 proof Southern Comfort on New Years in my underage days that got me violently ill. I had to sneak to the drainage grate down the street to puke so my parents wouldn't hear me.
- Drinks mixed with Red Bull, any drink from the Star Room, and flaming Dr. Peppers are always regretable.
- There were $1 cherry bomb shots (151 with a cherry that's been soaked in 151) that are the reason I got pregnant. (This is ultimately a positive because it gave me my awesome daughter.)
- There was Old Granddad Whiskey commandeered from JD's Dad's liquor cabinet. That produced the worst hangover to date which was compounded by the sickly sweet smells of the ice cream parlor I had to open the next day.
- There were jugs of lemon drops mixed with the possession of a pvc potato canon. I accidentally shot an ostrich from across a pond. I have never since heard a sound as horrible as that in my life. Shudder.
jan 29 2012 ∞
feb 11 2012 +