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Peculiar epiphanies on this particular evening;
One pensive penguin and a thousand more bleeding;
Whilst words work wonders inside of my head;
The invisible other - she leaves me for dead.
So dying I do what others have said;
And try to remember,
Try to forget.

pensive penguin follows:
lisa events
art (favorite art exhibitions)
live music
scrapbook
about me (I love)

The year ended in a spectacular fashion, all screaming and splintered on the jagged, toothy rocks of prejudice and pretentious opinions unwanted, unwarranted and untruthful.

  • People:- Hippies, Parents, The Solid and the Unformed... You are all still human. Slowly, I develop a prejudice against people with dreadlocks. You wear your Veganism like an armour, you wield it like a sword, but it will not slay the demon deep in your head which sees criticism hidden in the cracks of any throwaway comment. Get over yourself. As for the others; you have your paths - stick to them, and stay the hell away from mine.
  • Truth :- The cigarette smokers, the alcoholics, the drug-takers and the bohemians... You are my soul. All this and that makes for lovely talkings late at night, but the Truth lies somewhere in the grit of...
jan 3 2008 ∞
jan 3 2008 +
  • Because I can actually breathe.
  • Because Lauren always tells me I smell nice.
  • Because I realise that I don't ever have to smoke again, and that's a really nice feeling.
  • Because the image is not real. And while I am more than ready to philosophize on the readiness of reality to a raging radar of regular redolence... The truth is that dying that way will only undo the beauty of a life given over to something of a shadow verity.
  • Because I feel proud of myself. For the first time in some time.
  • Because it gives me hope for the future. Not the worlds... but mine at least.
  • Because I think it will start a chain reaction... and I hope it does.
  • Because I feel free.
sep 1 2007 ∞
sep 1 2007 +
  • I have lost my DOP to England and my Producer to Adulthood, which has sent my aspiring film career into downward spiral mode. I'll admit, it's been very hard not to be bitter.
  • I have had three jobs - Projectionist, Office Manager and now, Frontliner for a charity. I finally feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.
  • I have not written nearly as much as what I would have liked, but what I have written, I have been very proud of.
  • I have for the first time in my life, met a girl who is perfect in every fickle way which previously saw me spend every year since puberty alone.
  • I have changed my opinions on friendship.
  • I have been lost and found within the space of an hour.
  • I have discovered Rumi and Eckhart Tolle....
oct 27 2007 ∞
oct 27 2007 +
  • Filing cabinet
  • Massive bookshelf
  • Really nice backgammon board
  • Nintendo Wii (...not really; I never have any time as it is... still...)
feb 27 2007 ∞
mar 11 2007 +
  • "The mind is everything; what you think, you become." - Buddhist Saying.
  • "Life is far too important to take seriously." - Oscar Wilde.
  • "The report speaks for itself. It's a very good report. It's a very long report. I haven't read the report yet." - British Member of Parliament.
  • "If you don't believe in the gods, leave them alone." - Ancient Chinese Proverb.
  • "He's not the sharpest sandwich in the picnic." - American Sports Broadcaster.
  • "You may not be able to change the whole world, but if you can reach one person, you can change their world." - Anon.
  • "If you compliment everyone, then you compliment no-one." - Anon.
  • "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music." - Aldous Huxley.
  • "I'm afraid of losing my obscurity. Genu...
feb 12 2007 ∞
feb 26 2007 +
  • Sleep in late.
  • Drink tea in bed with my window open, watching people walk by on the street outside.
  • Sit on my front steps and read with a cup of tea and a cigarette.
  • Lie in bed and listen to the rain on the tin roof.
  • Sit in my favourite brown armchair at my friend's place and drink tea and play backgammon.
  • Listen to Augie March and draw pictures of penguins.
  • Listen to my mix CD made especially for rainy days.
  • Talk about how much I love rainy days.
  • Watch DVD's with people I care about.
  • Go to bed early and fall asleep with the sound of rain in my head.
feb 12 2007 ∞
feb 12 2007 +
  • Chain E-Mails (I'm too superstitious not to forward them on, but I hate it when I do because I know how annoying they are).
  • People with no manners.
  • People who don't indicate.
feb 4 2007 ∞
feb 4 2007 +
  • Black the Sun: 'Black the sun, oh no look at what we done. Go away, oh no, won't you please stay? And dream of me. I wish you would, dream of me. Dream of me, I wish you would, dream of me." - Alex Lloyd
  • Just Passing Through: "We were riding up the road to the site with the window's down and the cigarette's alight, singing some rubbish bout my soul's all right... I didn't know what I could do. Just you and I some other guy forever passing through" and/or The Night is a Blackbird: "His father misses him. His mother misses him. His lady dreams of kissing him. Bring the sun back. Bring the son back. It's been dark, now it's cold, and the night, grows old. Bring the sun back. The night is a black bird. And we're in the belly." - Augie March
  • The Blood: "There's a note, I found, remi...
jan 28 2007 ∞
jan 28 2007 +

I need to get a new job.

  • Pro - The money is a lot more than good and the work is a lot less than taxing.
  • Con - It teaches lazy habits. I do remember a time when I used to have a work ethic, but I can't quite recall why I should bother when I don't really have to.
  • Pro - Everybody thinks you have the coolest job.
  • Con - You work it, and it's not that cool.
  • Pro - Unlimited access to the internet.
  • Con - Unlimited access to the internet.
  • Pro - Technically, you are outside of the clutches of management. You are a law unto yourself.
  • Con - You have advanced as far as you will ever go in this industry and every lazy day you spend killing your brain cells on MySpace is one less day you have in experience in an actual career.
jan 24 2007 ∞
jan 26 2007 +
  • Jane - Grade 1
  • Keely - Grade 2
  • Tammy - Grade 3.
  • Rashelle - Grade 4 & 5.
  • Melitta - Grade 6.
  • Melitta, Zoe & Emma (respectively) - Grade 7.
  • Natalie, Emily & Katrina - Grade 8 & 9.
  • Katrina, Casey & Taryn - Grade 10, 11 & 12.
  • Nicole - 18yrs to 20yrs (it lingers still).
  • Jenna & Danni - 21yrs (although both of these were always plutonic).
  • Camilla - 21yrs to 22yrs.
  • Lauren - 23yrs - present (*sigh*)
jan 19 2007 ∞
may 23 2011 +
  • Pizza - Pepperoni w/ extra pepperoni & extra cheese.
  • Pork Roast Dinner
  • V8 Juice
  • Oysters Kilpatrick
  • Brie
  • Glass bottled Coke
  • Garlic prawns
  • Barbequed steak w/ mustard
  • Lime cordial
  • Scotch & Dry
  • Cascade premium light beer
  • Pulpy orange juice
  • Lamb cutlets
  • Marinated steak, medium rare with pepper sauce
  • Cauliflower cheese
  • Mashed potato
  • Lemon, Lime & Bitters
  • Red delicious apples
  • Dahl
dec 17 2006 ∞
dec 21 2006 +

Because I am cool and so are they...

  • Hunter S. Thompson
  • Stanley Kubrick
  • Johnny Depp
  • Jorge Louis Borges
  • Glenn Richards
  • Scarlett Johansson
  • Charlie Kaufman
  • Dave Grohl
  • Jes :)
nov 6 2006 ∞
nov 8 2006 +
  • Cigarettes. I know it's wrong, but I love them.
  • Tea. Dilmah, extra strength. White with two, thanks.
  • Dreams. I don't know where I'd be without them.
  • Love. Possibly the dangerest narcotic of them all...
  • Grinding my teeth. I wish I could stop because I keep giving myself tension headaches.
  • Oxygen. I don't know how to kick this habit.
  • MySpace. Need I say more?
  • Singing loudly in my car when I drive home from work.
  • Drumming the backs of the first three fingers on my right hand along any smooth surface that I pass. Did someone say obsessive compulsive?
oct 19 2006 ∞
oct 23 2006 +
  • Because we had a gig, and it was top fun.
  • Witty banter with a cute girl outside the front of the Globe after she complimented my bass playing techniques along with my physical appearance (said cute girl when drunk later on became much stranger than anticipated).
  • I got very, very drunk on Scotch and Dry.
  • Randomly venturing forth into the Valley for a quiet drink lead to unforeseen collisions with old aquiantances and a general feeling of having fully carved a unique niche for myself in Brisbane.
  • Strange people with stranger outlooks strangely looking out from their mugs of tea at 4am.
  • The aboriginal lady on Petrie Terrace singing the most melancholic and hauntingly beautiful songs I have ever heard. The f...
oct 21 2006 ∞
oct 21 2006 +

Australia is renowned world wide for its ridiculously intense summer season, which is less a season than it is a ten month period of time of being physically molested by a pervasive, sweaty bubble of solidified air. So, this year has seen El Nino break and the last three months have actually been wet and cold. And now, in the final of week of summer, for the first time, we have blue skies and sun. And I missed it. This list is an ode to all things good about summer.

  • Swimming pools at friends places which begin at 8am in the morning and finish at midnight.
  • Vegetarian barbeques and Glens' INCREDIBLE POTATO SALAD.
  • Visiting mum and going to the beach.
  • The beautiful, beautiful blue of the sky.
  • Brisbane at 7pm when the sun is setting a...
feb 22 2008 ∞
feb 22 2008 +
  • Roger Waters
  • Wilco
  • Augie March
  • The Black Arts EP Launch
  • A Thousand Apologies EP Launch
feb 12 2007 ∞
apr 25 2007 +
  • 2 x James Joyce novels
  • Filing cabinet & Bookshelf
  • The Beat Poet collection
  • Edgar Allen Poe graphic novel
  • PostSecret coffee table book
  • The Penguin of Death illustrated book
  • Brian De Floris activation card
mar 19 2007 ∞
mar 19 2007 +
  • Take bass amp to shop to get looked at.
  • Take guitar to shop to get peg fixed and new strings.
  • Go to Guitar Central and see if I can get credit for my acoustic bass towards a new epiphone.
  • Put ad in next week's Time Off & Rave to sell my acoustic bass.
  • Pick my camera up off Daley.
  • Call Craig and see when I can drop my camera off to ProCam to get fixed.
  • Meet Lara at 1pm for coffee *gulp*
  • Pick G.G. tape up off Kate from Psi Fi & beg for paid work.
  • Drop resume off at South Bank Tafe.
  • Call Smudge, Dan, Ruw re: movie tomorrow night.
  • Call Brenden re: broken DVD burner.
  • Call Marty re: broken hard drive.
  • Go see Man of the Year and forget all of the shit from the day.
feb 27 2007 ∞
feb 28 2007 +
  • I have a third nipple - it's considered good luck in Chinese culture & everyone who sees it swears it's just a large mole. It's not, it's a nipple.
  • I have a fascination with names - when we first meet, I will demand to know your full name, and if I think your middle name suits you better, I will call you by it.
  • I am terrified of Zombies. TERRIFIED. A friend of mine gave me a machete as a house warming present (in case of Zombie invasion) and I keep it beside my bed. Before I move into any new house, I must make sure that it is suitably defendable in case of a long siege by the undead.
  • I was 20kg underweight for my height and age from 14 through to 19 and as such, have a sore spot about being little. (I'm now only 7kgs underweight)
  • I have excellent handwriting. Seriously....
feb 20 2007 ∞
feb 23 2007 +
  • Lemonade Stall (10 pages)
  • The Woman and the Stranger (10 pages)
  • Mortal Gods (80 pages)
  • Fall (50 pages)
  • Watching Clouds Meld (80-90 pages)
  • Of Men and Monsters (90-100 pages)
  • Attack of the Vulture People! (100-120 pages)
  • Thirty Sixteen (120 pages)
  • The Big Five (120-150 pages)
oct 23 2006 ∞
feb 7 2007 +

I'm not dumb, but I can be stupid from time to time...

  • When I was 7, I went to the snow in the mountains behind Hobart. I was so enamoured that I put some snow in a bottle in order to take it back to my school for show and tell. I was devastated when it melted.
  • When I was 12, I went to an acting troupe with my friend Daniel. We sat in a circle and had to say who our favourite actor was, and why. I said "Tom Cruise, and because he's Australian." Everybody looked at me funny and the teacher said, "I don't think Tom Cruise is Australian." I got flustered and said in reaction, "Oh, yeah, well, you know what I mean!" I never went back.
  • When I was 20, we had a New Year's party at our house on Hanworth St. At about 5 in the afternoon, I decided I wanted chip...
jan 31 2007 ∞
jan 31 2007 +
  • Day drinking
  • Successfully managing to cram eight people into a bright pink kiddie pool designed to fit only two.
  • Daniel's attempt to fill the water bombs with beer by wrapping the end around the neck of his bottle and then sucking on the balloon part to try and force the pressure in, putting himself into a fairly interesting position in the process.
  • Matt eating half a pavlova and then falling over and holding his stomach for half an hour.
  • Watching Daniel and Smudge and Matt get completely drenched in pineapple.
  • Playing airhockey.
  • Playing airhockey with pineapple.
  • Playing airhockey with cheese.
  • Augie March getting number 1 on the Hottest 100.
jan 27 2007 ∞
jan 27 2007 +
  • Lawn Bowls
  • Day Drinking
  • Andee, Daniel, Kim, Smudge, Ruwan, Glen, Romesh & Jess
  • Veeeeeeeeeeeerrrry cheap Drinks
  • Day Drinking
  • Cigarettes
  • My spectacular bowl which owned everyone else's (despite the fact that every other bowl I did was completely suckful)
  • Passing out at 5.30 and waking up at 8.30, full of energy
  • Pepperoni pizza
  • The fact that Christian wasn't nipping at my heels/making me feel defensive the whole time
  • The river
jan 21 2007 ∞
jan 21 2007 +
  • There is enough love to go around for everybody
  • I am always right
  • You don't exist
  • The keyboard is making a very loud sound
  • I like scotch, scotchy, scotch, scotch; down, down, down; down into my belly.
  • People are people and I don't know what else. I am exhausted of playing games and acting as the sheep herder.
  • I will continue to have faith in people until I kick this habit called life.
  • I wish she had called me.
  • I am getting over it already.
  • My parents are beautiful people and I will never be able to describe how happy I am right now that they both found happiness.
  • I miss my sister.
  • You are not me, so live your own life. This is not an insult.
dec 25 2006 ∞
dec 25 2006 +

In order of greatness

  • Wilson from 'Cast Away'.
  • Bill "The Butcher" Cutting from 'Gangs of New York' by Daniel Day-Lewis.
  • Dr. Strangelove from 'Dr. Strangelove or...' by Peter Sellers.
  • Hal 9000 from '2001: A Space Odyssey'.
  • Gigolo Joe from 'A.I.' by Jude Law (simply for the line, 'I am. I was.')
nov 12 2006 ∞
nov 12 2006 +
  • Catching the City Cat home from work. This is cool for two reasons; a.) because I don't have to clench my jaw whilst driving through peak traffic and b.) because I will get to sit on the front of the City Cat and feel the wind in my face and watch the sun set over the city.
  • Making spaghetti bolognese when I get home - I make AWESOME spaghetti. AWESOME.
  • Writing. Thank you, inspiration!
  • Listening to Abbey Road. I've been hankering for it all day.
  • Setting up my new desk and the last few things which will make my new flat complete.
  • Having a coffee with Jenna and talking film. I love that girl.
  • Smoking a cigarette on my back 'balcony' and talking to the kids which live across the lane from my place. They crack me up.
oct 23 2006 ∞
oct 30 2006 +
  • All time favourite - Where the Wild Things Are. I love this book; in fact, I'm going to put a picture of it on my MySpace right now...
  • Dinotopia and The World Beneath - Illustrations are amazing... Dinosuars are cool.
  • The Little Prince - I had completely forgotten about this book until my ex-girlfriend loaned me her copy last year. Brilliant!
  • Guess How Much I Love You? - I bought a copy for my nephew.
  • Rowan of Rin - Cool as fantasy series.
  • The Tale of Peter Rabbit - My mum used to read this to me when I was going to sleep...
  • The Magic Faraway Tree - I would LOVE to make a television series (a GOOD television series; creepy and kind of dislocated - like The Storyteller series) of these b...
oct 21 2006 ∞
oct 21 2006 +
  • Hunter S. Thompson
  • Jorge Luis Borges
  • Philip K. Dick
  • Albert Camus
  • Aldous Huxley
  • H. G. Wells (always)
  • Ernest Hemmingway
  • Jack Kerouac
  • Franz Kafka
  • Alexander Pushkin
aug 13 2007 ∞
aug 13 2007 +

Yeh - even I'm sceptical.

  • Release EP for 'A Thousand Apologies'.
  • Release EP for 'The Black Arts'.
  • Tour EP for 'A Thousand Apologies'.
  • Tour EP for 'The Black Arts'.
  • Make 'The Woman and the Stranger' - BEFORE July.
  • Finish editing 'Butterflies in Glass'.
  • Make 'The Lemonade Stall' - BEFORE December.
  • Complete final draft of 'Mortal Gods' - BEFORE September.
  • Make EP of my own songs w/ me on bass, Ruw on drums & Anita on keys.
  • Get a new job - preferrably one which pays better.
  • Take a holiday at the end of the year.
feb 27 2007 ∞
apr 25 2007 +
  • We had a gig - and all the other guys left early so I scored the whole rider. Sweet.
  • Got into the Zoo for free 'cause Eddy was doing sound there - got to stand up on stage and watch Thirsty Merc, who, I've decided, actually are a fairly decent band.
  • Got to pretend like I was an important person in front of the sell out crowd of screaming girls.
  • $2 scotches cause Bridgette was behind the bar and she likes me.
  • Interesting conversation at Rics about what it means to be a musician.
  • Ran into Parslow, who then proceeded to shout me drinks because a.) he was drunk, and b.) he was impressed that I have finally quit the fucking cinemas.
  • The main reason why last night rocked was simply because it will probably be the l...
mar 29 2007 ∞
mar 29 2007 +
  • Paradigm
  • Obnoxious
  • Suckful
  • Peculiar
  • Vehemently
  • Reiterate
  • Perplexed
  • Erudite
  • Erroneous
  • Intriguing
  • Ire
  • Orthodoxy
  • Revelate
  • Narcissistic
  • Eptistolic
  • Epistemology
  • Retrospection
  • Vagrant
  • Lemur
  • Irk
  • Voluminous
dec 18 2006 ∞
mar 1 2007 +

I don't play video games any more, but seeing all of the new consoles coming out made me reminisce to days when you didn't need to have an extra thumb in order to operate a controller.

  • The Legend of Zelda - Majora's Mask.
  • Monkey Island 1 through 3.
  • F-Zero.
  • Duck Hunt.
  • Super Mario World.
  • Jones in the Fast Lane.
  • Lemmings.
  • Worms Armageddon.
  • Final Fantasy 7.
  • Civilisation III.
  • Sim City.
  • Super Mario Kart.
feb 23 2007 ∞
feb 23 2007 +
  • Money (2 x $50 notes = Denis' best day ever)
  • Training Bra
  • Lingerie
  • Tobacco (Full 50gm pack of Champion Ruby when I was so broke I was considering quitting smoking = Denis' best day ever)
  • Empty booze bottles (6 pack of UDL's after a kid's session on the weekend, first thing in the morning, to name but one of many)
  • Pot (the kid was so chagrined to come back for it)
  • Syringes
  • Various sexual paraphernalia (I will not go into details about this...)
  • Jewellery of various qualities
  • Dirty nappies
  • iPods
  • English Chinese translator
  • Creative uses of chip packets and pepsi c...
feb 4 2007 ∞
feb 4 2007 +
  • Peter Jackson, Extra Mild - Although these are a cheap cigarette, I really enjoy them; kind of like in the same way I really liked L.A. or drinking shitty wine - sometimes I find I want to smoke a cigarette that reminds me of how disgusting the habit really is.
  • Lucky Strike Filters
  • Marlboro Reds
  • Chesterfield, Mambaya Gold - I MISS these cigarettes SO much!!!
  • Champion Ruby Yellow - My cigarette of choice
jan 27 2007 ∞
jan 27 2007 +
  • I am moody.
  • I need space.
  • I fall in love easily.
  • I don't lie. Ever.
  • I'm independent and I like it, but I do still enjoy the silly txt messages and the random phone calls.
  • I am a passionate and I get excited very easily. Don't make mock of that because it hurts my feelings.
  • If you make me happy I will do absolutely everything for you.
  • I can be melodramatic and I exaggerate things.
  • I get caught up in my own head and need to be coaxed out with a gentle hand.
  • I am in love with life.
  • My friends are the most important thing in the world to me, and it is essential that you understand we are family.
  • I really like working, and if I need some...
jan 24 2007 ∞
jan 26 2007 +
  • Why am I doing this?
  • I want a cigarette.
  • I need to quit smoking.
  • Why the fuck am I wasting my time on this?!?!
  • I'm not even getting paid.
  • I hate this.
  • I want a cigarette.
  • Why am I doing this?
  • Yep, that's good enough.
  • I wonder if Dan/Ruw/Smudge/Danni/Anyone's still awake?
  • I need a cup of coffee.
  • This is ridiculously boring.
  • Buh.
  • Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
  • I want a cigarette.
  • Will he/she notice that?
  • Fuck it.
  • I shouldn't have had that coffee.
  • I want a cigarette.
jan 7 2007 ∞
jan 7 2007 +

Is it really all that much to ask?

  • A Nintendo Wii
  • $250 to get the firewire port on my camera fixed
  • A Maton Acoustic Guitar
  • A Hofner bass
  • An Ampeg bass amp
  • Scarlett Johansson's phone number
  • The complete works of Dostoevsky
  • $750 to get the LCD screen on my camera fixed
  • $500 to pay my car registration
  • Somebody to invest $10,000 in my next film
  • The world
dec 9 2006 ∞
dec 9 2006 +
  • Children of Men
  • The Departed
  • Little Miss Sunshine
  • The Wind That Shakes the Barley
  • An Inconvenient Truth
  • Tristram Shandy: A Cock & Bull Story
  • Thank-You For Smoking (Although not as good as I'd hoped...)
  • American Dreamz (What?! I liked it!)
  • Brick
  • Slither
  • Hard Candy
  • United 93
  • Lord of War (Was that this year or last year...?)
  • Monster House
nov 8 2006 ∞
nov 8 2006 +
  • If someone doesn't want to be helped, there is nothing that you can do to help them.
  • It is okay to walk away from someone who is stuck in a downward spiral - if they wish to be free, they will break themselves and return - if that is what is supposed to happen.
  • There is always another angle with which to think about something.
  • Apathy is a monster which hides in the dark places of your chest.
  • Paranoia is a demon which perches on your shoulder and whispers in your ear.
  • 'God' is a beam of light, of which both monsters and demons are terrified of. To kill a monster, all you have to do is face it. To kill a demon, all you have to do is not believe it.
  • Everybody gets what they want, depending upon how much they want it.
oct 23 2006 ∞
oct 23 2006 +