• health and fitness
  • adventure, the outdoors and travel
  • mutual respect and admiration
  • cooking and food
  • growth


  • a long term relationship - ultimately a marriage - with a long term investment: striving towards longevity and building a life together
  • cultivating a "we" mentality, secure in the knowledge that my partner is "in it" with me for the long haul
  • sharing life and the day to day with someone who is excited about and wants the same things as me
  • mutual effort - both partners put in work to build the relationship and take initiative to do things for each other, make each other a priority

wants in a partner━

  • physical━
    • takes care of their body and puts effort into their physical appearance
      • attractive
      • in good shape, muscular
      • well dressed and looks put together
    • outdoorsy and adventurous
    • willing to try new sports and athletic activities with me
    • sex drives and desires match and both parties are satisfied in the relationship
      • both parties equally prioritize each other's pleasure
    • generous with physical affection
  • emotional━
    • extroverted or at the very least not strongly introverted
    • good sense of humor (and a great smile!)
    • intelligent
    • willingness to take risks and step outside of comfort zone and encourages me to do the same - open to trying new things and challenges me to grow
    • supportive of me
    • patient
    • kind and respectful to others and to me
    • slow to anger
    • hard worker
    • has a "yes" mindset - always looking for opportunities to say yes to opportunities that come their way instead of looking to say no
    • doesn't internalize the stress/emotional states of others - can be supportive without being negatively affected
    • level headed even under stress
    • actively and openly articulates emotions and desires - emotionally intelligent
    • healthy communicator
    • openly loving and affectionate, generous with physical and emotional and verbal affection
    • punctual and follows through on commitments (big and small)

goals and values━

  • having a companionship that encourages both partners to step outside their comfort zone and grow
  • both partners share the same cultural background and mindset
  • the relationship is underscored by a work to live mentality - prioritize saving a lot (FIRE) in order to retire early, but spend on things that are important and use money to explore the world and enjoy time outside of work
  • both partners want to pursue experiences together instead of pursuing parenting or raising a family
  • shared hobbies that both partners can partake in
  • both partners are willing to sacrifice and compromise to be together - for better or worse, for sickness and in health
  • having a quality home life from where the rest of our lives can grow
    • having a clean, organized, beautiful space that brings joy to both parties
  • both partners are on the same page politically and religiously
  • has a positive relationship with parents (or at least a neutral relationship)
  • in tech, software somehow (nice to have)
  • travel and exploring the world is a shared high priority
  • an open line of communication about feelings, thoughts, important issues, and conflicts - when an issue comes up, neither party feels threatened, and no issue is too tough to bring up
    • communicating vulnerabilities and insecurities and being open and willing to work through them


  • time spent apart - what is my limit on how long long distance is acceptable for?
  • sexual openness - being okay with having sex with other people either separately or shared experiences with each other
    • how to create boundaries that make the relationship feel safe and secure and sacred?
  • children - once i am unable to have children, this is noncompromisable
feb 8 2021 ∞
jul 12 2021 +