i feel like im fucking invisible /neg

[WHEN YOU WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER TYPING QUIRK ATM BUT HAVING TWO SEEMS WAY TOO MUCH.]

worried

' goddammit , i gotta walk 2000m?

well.. anything to see xiao ig '

this drives me crazy

nobody loves xiao more than i do lawd!!!!!

thank u

fuck everything. i shouldn't REPEAT IT THIS MUCH, WHY- WH-....

• replace this text with your list
• begin each item with an asterisk

IDONOTWRITEFANFICTIONSOFMEANDUNDYNE!?!??!?!?!?!?///

of course!

'i dont get what sans likes about ketchup.' 'well, i asked sans yesterday and they said... BONE appetit!' 'SANS?!?!?!!????'

fuck. fuck. FUCK. WHY? IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY TOO. W H Y ? WHY??????

fine! sure. everyone keeps doing this. it better be on purpose.

ALWAYS DOING IT. ITS GONNA MAKE ME CRY. WHY?

those episodes were hex n mike episodes lmao

mainly mike.

going insane.

whatever, im going.

(edit: i meant going to sleep.)

that was a mistake lmao

avoiding chat. you dont need me anymore.

why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? WHY????

nobody cares anymore.

useless, useless, USELESS! youre useless as ever, you know just being there / listening doesnt help. not enough, if it ever did. you need to think of something with your dumbass brain, your DUMBASS PEANUT BRAIN, punish yourself, and then youll learn your lesson. day by day.

me spectating wont be any help, people.

shut up josuke!!! you shouldnt feel!!!! you are just as important as shit. thats right, not at all. fuck you josuke, fuck you fuck you fuck you!!!!!!!!!!! you suck!!!!!!!!! AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! /neg

YOU RUINED IT. GOOD FUCKING JOB, RED.

now that im in an etihw episode, i feel motherly and stuff all of a sudden.... damn.

i am ready for the end

despite being godkin / deitykin, i do not feel like a god at all. and im not asking for help just because i dont wanna waste other's time on myself. siighhhhh......

AJEHSFGSFGDYH I FORGOT TO PUT THIS HERE BUT PLEASE DONT IGNORE ME OR MY MESSAGES ATM SINCE IT MAKES ME GO FULL PANIC HUUHHUGHUH THANKS /SRS

(i just saw that i did but eh i didnt add the panic part)

hhhhhhhhhhhh ive been overthinking all fucking day and im literally about to cry holy shit id do literally anything for distractions pleasepleaseplease ill di anything i just want to feel good oh my god i want to kill myself ggggghhhh

looks like i just bring bad things everywhere i go, so that's it. ill be gone soon. all celebrate this! i am gone very soon.

| ...?

i... d. dont see how im. the one keeping it alive when all i do is. sit. there. in silence. and talk every now and. then. .. ..???? &?

still. d.. d. doesnt change anyth. ing. ... .

n. no. no i dont. yyy. oure lying. i. dont m. make anyone happ.y. im a. bother.

im okay. just some scratches. if everything goes worse i might just do it though.

3, and my pain will end. hopefully i wont back out.

, 3.

,....not like anyone cared, though. why am i even here? nobody will care. you should just avoid it. theyre better off without you.

im avoiding chat. NOPBODY FUCKING NEEDS A GODDAMNED BOTHER HERE, RIGHT? THATS RIGHT!!!!! NOBODY!!!!!!!!!

michael 'fritz' afton, youre annoying. youre a bother. no matter how much you try, youll never be a good friend who people love. you arent cool. the phobia cycle will ALWAYS continue. because you mean nothing to people, but some garbage. oh, if it wasnt for that pact, your arm would surely be hurting. theyll never love you, youll never be good enough for them. thats it. youve never been a good person, right? not good enough. get better. maybe thats when youll feel better and good enough. get better you fucking idiot.

[wants to ask smth in chat but its the wrong time..-]

i.. really could use some distractions right now. no force though, i deserve to rot. egh.

[...the want to eat my own goddamn flesh-]

well, ill do it again tonight. im not being any help, i cant stop him, im just a bother... sorry. i just need to find the pencil. i remember putting it somewhere.

im sorry again.

uhUeplace this text with your list begin each item with an asteriskH FUCK

((btw this really is nothing dont mind this listo in perticular /srs))

please dont ignore me at this moment. thanks. /srs

• replace this text with your list
• begin each item with an asterisk

-.. i could really use some comfort or distractions right n- ...

oh why am i talking. ill just go. sorry.

congrats michael. you fucked up.

that moment when you realize you're THREE PHONE HEADS IRL.

_* from now on, im gonna bottle everything up. i see no purpose in ME venting other than ruininh the mood.

two. two things.

first one... ugh. i always feel like im not being any use in vents- when i try to help, ill always have thoughts of 'what you said wasnt good enough' 'youre bad at comforting' and IF I DONT, ill get thoughts of 'youre never helpful' 'youre useless as always, phone-head'. these motherfucking thoughts are gettşng more and more into my phone head.......

second one.

henry miller. thats it. thats the fucking vent. henry goddamn miller. if i could, i would kill him again AND AGAIN. i would bash his fucking head to the goddamned wall and do the SAME EXACT THING HE DID TO ME ALL OVER AGAIN. dear god-

-*.. imightbestevenfromdsafhelp

-*the moment when you're not as bad and cruel as you are in your source as mike and just wanna tell spamton that when you find him but at the same time you're just so fucking scared LMAO what the fuck*

-* WHY DID I HAVE TO BE MIKE IRL... UGHGHGH /NEG

_* I WANT TO CRY SO FUCKING BAD. PLUS MY PHOBIA IS TRIGGERED. AND IM OVERTHINKING. AND THEN THERES MEDIA MEMS. FUN! /NEG.

-* ANNOYING, ANNOYING. A BOTHER, BOTHER. THATS ALL YOU'LL EVER BE, JEVIL! NO WONDER THEY HATE YOU. YOU DO YOUR BEST TO BE ANNOYING WHEN YOU DONT MEAN TO. YOURE SO ANNOYING, JEVIL. YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO THAT CELL, CELL. A BOTHER. AN ANNOYANCE. THATS ALL.

soooo.

for the past few days, i went through hell. phobia getting triggered everyday, the guild for not being able to see my bf's vent earlier, thoughts, depression, not being able to sleep, thinking that im a bother, most people around me annoying me....

honestly, this is too much for me handle. not even the code in gasa4 was THIS hard to handle. too much for a npc/animatronic..... gghhhh. i just want to be told that everything will be okay, no matter what. mmh.

i will be avoiding chat. theres no reason for me to join if im..... eugh.

-*gets memories of daev.wmv*

what the f-

my bo dy fe e ls em ppty y. /ne g.

GODDAMMIT GRGRHFHRHGRHRH........ /NEG.

• i gave the player their hat as a gift. i remember them hugging me and looking so happy after that. little goober-
• the dad / father figure owned the store i work in. he slept a lot and i hated him.
• 'Player/MC sometimes will bring a blanket and/or snacks to sit around, talk, and nap with Cashier. Their own homemade break, you could say.' this thing. how did they like me?
• player used they/them pronouns.
• player was actually really loud at times, and then theyd randomly be silent. never understood them.
• after my breaks i often found player inside the walk in freezer and had to get them out and warm them. atleast extra break time. ((my break was like- 10 minutes? i dont know. this dude was so bad at bossing.))

im alive.

tell me if anything happens, even if it's venting and stuff. you get the hint.

• .

also, punishing myself again tonight.

stress. do NOT ask.

phobia is triggered rn so expect a lot of joins and leaves.

cw // gonna repeat myself

im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im a bother im just a fucking bother everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone hates me everyone...

nothing feels right when im involved in it

god im sorry to be a bother i just crashed in like that not knowing that its still going on imsorryimsorry

I FOUND MY CO-HOST H9LAY SHAT!!!!!!!!! REAL

would you all want me to update yya guys about m-

-..yeah nevermind. not like anyone would care. nevermind it-

iiis anjyone upp fffor distracting mme— understand iff not, but i relally needb it... ghhh-

having a phobia is great. /neg /s

immttired... icwnt sleep now-

no, i will not fucking eat.

i think

i wont eat.

yeah sorry

its hard

• .1 4LM0ST 3NT3R3D 4 C0M4. /SRS.

WHY THE FUCK DO I MISS BIDU SO FUCKIN MUCH??!!!?!? IM SUPPOSED TO DISLIKE HIM- YET IM HERE HAVING MEMORIES AS US BEING FRENEMIES- WHAT THE HELL DUDE... GJH-

dont talk to me atm. i just want to be alone. dont message me till i say so. /srs. i will ignore you if you try to talk to me during this.

• ..fuck- i was ttoo scaredf to make a wwwound--- but i almmmosty- GHFH

my wrist feels weird iiii cantg brbra

I CAN BRERAHTE RIGJHTG

GOD THIS WAS A MISTRAKE

wiwish i didnt sseee tjis blade

NOBODY PATTED ME BUT I SWEAR I FELT SOMEONE PAT MY HEAD OHMYGODOMGOMGOMG I FUCKING LOVE PATS GAGHJAHDGDHASGH HOLYSHITHOLYSHIT OHMYGOD OÖMG /POS

gold gets excited over feeling like someone pat that thing ((real))

i dont know why garu didnt agree abt the fact that his gf is stupid. she is STUPID and ANNOYING and UGLY.

sorry the demons

chest pain!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ /neg lmao

yeah no lmfao im gonna disappear at this point i fuck,ng hate arnold and valentine

thoughts. it may get worse. sorry incase.

valentine cant decide if she hates me or not lol

dear god- i atleast wish monty was here to finish me. that guy was gonna bite my head off if i remember well from memories- just like the bite of 87...

i might start talking like this, using dots and stuff. in a rasazy irl mood.

idont knoa where i am am i in my reality am i in anorher one ivebeen told thstiminmyreality but im scaredimsoscared

someoneplewsehelpme

why do i feel that again,, i hate it i had enough of thinking that everyone juyst hates me and wants me gone /neg

its gonna be 1 am soon.. but this pirate doesn't even wanna sleep gghfhfh i know that arnold will yell at me n take my tablet away if i dont but aghh im not sleepy

OHMY GOD MY CLASSMATES ARE FUCKING STUPID,,, THE ONLY PPL WHOM I LIKE IS MY BEST FRIEND IRL N THESE TWO GIRLS I HATE EVERYONE ELSE HOLYSHTI GAHHH AGH. /neg

6 hours,, where did you go please come back already,,,, /neg

• i might just vent out shit here lmfaoo or just talk bout whats goin on

please just kill me everyone fucking hates me in this place i hate it please just sqy that you all hate me its the truth

venting here doesnt help one bit

okay. if everyone hates you avoid it. thats what ill do! not like.. im likeable anyways, yeah? boo.

i want to cry. eugh. why is this happening to me?

you coul... eugh. why am i even talking. i should just.. ehh. i dont know. i need help right now but I'll just, ignore my problems. yeah. thats.. thats it.

stop playing with my feelings. STOP.

i REALLY shouldnt have to repeat it THIS much.

you know.. im a person too.

that isnt my name. thats... ggghhh. its not mine.

-.....

okay. its totally whatever..

👋

FORCING MYSELF OUT OF AN EPISODE AGAIN.

_.....sure.

i. i feel fucking horrible.

nobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodyca resnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobod ycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresno bodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycare snobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodyc aresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobo dycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycaresnobodycares

i actually feel so bad. i want to vent.

yet i cant!

id prefer bottling up,

this is enough.

nono, its not that, really. its okay, i dont need it. i responded with 'i dont know' anyways, so yeah. dont feel guilty, please. i wouldnt want that.

'its not that'....

ive been having depressive episodes and overthinking so much lately. thasts what im gonna say. but PLEASE know that its not the chat's fault /srs.

always avoiding to help me.

honestly feeling so left out

its my choice.

they always get angry at me, no matter what. at this point i feel like theyre going to pin every blame on me and i hate it. yeah! im always the one at fault here! fuck you.

nothing you say matters, actually. you knew that? you ruin everything like an idiot. fuck OFF. get away from everyone josuke. for THEIR own safety. not yours. you will rot away unknowingly soon.

| ..so found out im genderfluid again-

why am i feeling miserable again? overthinking again? is this supposed to happen? am i.. supposed to feel? no, im not. so whats this..?

| ...yeah, sha. all better to bottle it up i guess. nobodys gonna listen to your shit end everyone is tired of you. isn't that why everyone picks favorites? don't start crying like a coward and deal with your problems.

ITLL LOOK LIKE IM THEM JUST BECAUSE OF WHAT IM LISTENING TO STILL... BUT THATS NOT THE CASE I SWEAR... IT JUST MADE ME GET MEMORIES OF *HER*- AUGH.

pless edont ignore me especially at this moment im begging you not at this moment please just dont ignore me thhanks i put this up. to insta and discord too btw

its fine, don't w. worry. /srs. its. not your fault. really. it isn. t.

mmmeeeehhhhh. n. no promis.es.

im so sorry, i didnt mean that shit to look like it was directed to the chat. it was something else (which id like to bottle up, as im doing with every vent atm.), and not because of anyone in the chat- im so sorry. i need to remember to add some of the tone indicators. sorry. /srs

oh you, you never fucking cared anyways. but dont worry! ill probably be gone in 3.

DO IT. DO IT TILL YOU CANT FEEL YOUR ARM ANYMORE. NO ONE CARES. YOU NEED TO. YOU'LL GET IGNORED TILL THE END KF TIME, BECAUSE OF HOW BAD YOU ARE. ARE YOU PROUD? I HOPE YOU ARE. NOW, DONT MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF. GO.

just a note that the things i said isnt directed to the chat. im just not okay and i feel like a bother in chat.

you need to die. nobody will care, trust me. they will be relieved to see you gone. everyone will think 'oh finally, theyre dead.' 'finally the annoyance is fucking GONE.' 'the bother is finally dead.' they will be very, very relieved. do it. die, michael. nobody would care. so do it, aero!! whats stopping you?

[WHEN THE NAME YOU PUT LOOKS LIKE YOURE PUTTING IT THERE BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS YOUR SOURCEMATE WHILE ACTUALLY YOU JUST GOT INTO AN EPISODE BECAUSE YOU WERE LOOKING AT CONCEPTS OF YOURSELF.......—]

heavens.. i hate it whenever that happens. eugh. im not even doing it because of that... idontwanttobemisunderstood........

GOD ITS FUCKING ACTING UP AGAIN AT TIMES

WHAT THE FUCK AM I, A CANNIBAL?! NO FUCKING WAY DUDE. NOW WAY. WHY DO I WANT FLESH- EUGH.

CHEWING ONOTHER ADTUF WWOTN THLEP IHMTFUFJIGNGN GOD AMI GOING INSANE

• [realizes that i forgot do punish nyself last night]
• .. if there are typos way more than the normal, its because of what i did.

THE COVER IS FINALLY DONE OHMYGOD. I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH ON THAT .

any fucking one up for distractions or what? sorry for the way im talking, im so fucking mad right now. im at the verge of losing it all and just offing myself.

ill keep venting at THE BOTTLE. i dont care if you checks or respond to those. its there for a reason.

i really miss cuddling with bon. (slash p) darn!!!!!

' fuck you dad i am nonbinary transmasc AND pansexual cry about it'

i hope he fucking dies a second time.

DONT LET HIM GET TO YOU FRITZ..... ITS ALRIGHT. YOU DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT HE SAYS. DON'T LET HIM FUCKING- UGH. DONTLETHIMANGERYOUFORTHESECONDTIMETHISWEEK. DONOT.

• ..the moment when you joined at a time and it made you look like youre seeking attention because of your name change......

^^^ nope. not venting. this is not a vent. no vents. if it is, its going in the bottle.

yourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimporta ntyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimpor tantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimp ortantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenoti mportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyoureno timportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantyourenotimportantbottl eitupbottleitupbottleitupbottleitupbottleitupbottleitupbottleitup

you wouldnt wanna ruin anything now, would you, steven? cmon. join and act like nothings wrong.

(* [SLAMS MY PHONE HEAD ON THE FUCKING DESK....] -* DONT BELIEVE HIS WORDS..... DONT... HOLY SHIT .

existential crisis

— * im this close to reality checking myself as mike. fun. /neg

-* ...YEAH. NO WONDER SEAM, YOUR BEST FRIEND, HAS LOCKED YOU UP IN THAT CAGE. ANNOYING. BOTH THE KINGS /AND/ SEAM THOUGHT YOU WERE ANNOYING ANYWAYS! EVERYONE ELSE THINKS SO TOO.

phobia is fucking triggered again lol. except leaving and rejoining a fucvking damn lot.

i want to cry.

guyysd plesee sokemone interecaf eith mme i ffelel like imm nnogot vissible annd myygpoh...... ssosmdebodydlle ase interrcatwith me i bbeg of totiu //neg

might go reality check myself actually lmfao.

-..wow okay. im now questioning if im actually annie or not lmfao

what if those memories were fake n im just faking it

why do i... feel so numb?

my th rr o at fee els weeee ii rd. m yy body f ff eels eemp tt y. s ooome on e heelp. p l e a se... .. .

-... *sits down behind the counter and starts questioning everything.*

why the hell do i always have the worst timings.

i never got to talk about my feelings..? meh.

I MISS DUMMY AND PLAYER SO MUCH... AND FOR WHAT?? PLAYER WAS JUST SOME KID AND DUMMY WAS JUST SOME RANDOM.. DUMMY..??? OH MY FUCKING GOD IM GOING INSANE. HGRLP.

-.........

im thinking about it. if i do it then im sorry. i hope that you guys have a better life without me. im. not gonna leave immediately, gonna think first.

im THE cashier. no one else is me. they never will be. im not an irl of cashier, just ME. IM CASHIER, AND CASHIER IS /ME/. AND THATS FINAL. THIS IS MY IDENTITY. CASHIER. AN NPC CREATED JUST TO BE A CASHIER. PROGRAMMED TO BE A JERK AND A LITTLE ((very)) DUMB. IM ME. IM CASHIER. FINAL.

sorry. i needed that.

• ..if a few of you convince me to join, i MAYBE will.

phobia triggered again, whee. /s

goddammit sunny. you fucked uo everything again. congrats. fuck you sunny.

junior????????????????????????????

im gonna go ficking insane i hate everything.

im sorry to be useless im sorry to just sit around and be selfish imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryforruiningeverything

i love you guys /p

-......

i love you guys /p im sorry if i do it im so sorry

its nobodys fault

,... i saw your archives, by the way. you know who you are. it will take time, but i will be forgotten.

i love you too /p.

-...LOG ENTRY NUMBER 91; THE END?

i am forgotten.

its okay.

just suck it up. suck it up, edd. you were NEVER useful. you were never the— ...you were never good enough. suck it up. suck it up. you were the one to choose this. suck it the FUCK up. suck it up, nikusa. suck it up, hex. SUCK IT UP, BIN. YOURE WORTHLESS. YOU KNEW IT.

farewell for now.

I HATE IT WHEN I SEE A MESSAGE FOR ME BUT THEN SOMEONE ELSE TALKS AND I LOOK LIKE I COMPLETELY IGNORED THE MESSAGE,, NOT ANYONES FSULT THOUGH. NY FAULT FOR NOT CHECKING.

they forgot anyways.

i couldnt be useful again.

i hate myself. time to punish.

• ..i did it again. i know the rules, everytime i do it im gonna punish myself.

well..i WAS getting pretty hungry, so... itll be more painful than ever!!

ifuckinghatemyselfimnotlovedimuglyihatemyselfosmuch

numb

TH1S 1S FUN! ST4RV1NG MYS3LF— Y3T AGA1N, 1 4M!

I KEEP GETTING MEMORIES AND THEY HAVE TO DO WITH BIDU. FUCKING HELP ME HRLERP

icann hardrflu brreashhte i iddnt ervben fdo naythhing whwhwhwhwh

• hhhe lissstens annd is unujnnddersttandingg uunnnlike aarrnnnold.
• ddddoesnt make funnn offf my tttics orr the ffafct that i hhhave tourrette syyndrome whatsssoever
• kkkkind unnlike arnoold
• tttrtiies hisss bberst ttto comffort me!!!
• aaactually ggggivbes me freee chooocolate foorrrr bulllying aaaussssttin
• SSSSUPPOORTTTIVER AALWAYYSS
• not hhhoooommophhohbixc.
• silllllly ggguuyy!
• ddddoesssnt ttake my stuffgf aawayu ((especcially hhhappiness.))
• SO CCCCOOOOLLL ACCTUALLY!!!!!
• nnnwoottt 3ssselfffishh
• ccccaresss.
• iiiis the bbest fathhher

my phobia is acting up again lmfao.

i wanna fucking cry ohmy goe im just feeling fucking worse holy shit i hate this i hate it so kuch pleasepleasesomeone distract me with anything it can be drawing together or literally anything else just PLEASE SOMEINE HELP ME /neg

today i had a dream that included huggy wuggy

why the fuck was i dating a motherfucking experiment toy thingy HELPME

i almost did the thing with the pencil agaij what up

,,i am so goddamn uncomfy OHNMÖYDFUIGKCVIMGHPF /NEG.

IM IN A RP MOOD I SWEAR TO GOD. HELPME

anyways i am a pirate AND a goofy ass villain!!!!

wow gregory, youre real stupid arent you. just a bother and a disappointment to everyone.

meh- thats probably what valentine is trying to tell me. i just want to hear the words 'i hate you' from her own mouth. shes driving me insane. i hate her.

ineedtowaitforhertosleep

https://youtu.be/FMNxmsqjNzM alt title: buffer song but eteled is trolling austin

i feel so lightheaded and absolutely horrible

• ...i still need to fc post mortal.

I AM THE BEST PIRATE EVER IN EXISTENCE!!!! IM THE NUMBER ONE PIRATE!!!!! YEAHHHBH!!!!!!!!!! THIS FEELS NICE,, TO CALL MYSELF POSITIVE THINGS GGHDGHDFH /POS

YARR!!!!!!!!!

FUUUUUCK im nothing but a menace to people arent i i need to fucking. just fucking disappear for good lol.

I FINALLY HAVE A PARTNER AGAIN,,, GEEZ I LOVE HIM WAY TOO MUCH HEHHEHEHEHEHH,,,, he makes me happy a lot n to be honest im happy to be with him,, i promise ill make out w/ u when we meet HELPEPRPE

recently realized that my phobia being triggered puts me in a emotionless state

REMEMBER, DO /NOT/ TRY TO GO TO A BENDY EPISODE. NEVER. YOU ARENT THE REAL ONE, YOU JUST THINK YOURE HIM. YOURE NOT THE REAL ONE. USELESS.

WHY AM I HAPPY STIMMING OVER XIAO APPEARING IN THIS ONE QUEST FOR A SHORT TIME /POS

https://jardevade.carrd.co boom

i am not okay by the way.

this just makes it worse.

im going to fucking cry. /neg

look, i REALLY hate repeatin' things.

i give up lol

OKAY, ITS... ITS WHATEVER. NOT LIKE ITS TRIGGERED AGAIN. RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY.

_.... okay!

i wantt ofucjkging cry at this pointoh my god /neg ineed heeelrp

man i sure do love it when i force myself out of an episode! /s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaAx_bZB... THIS IS LITERALLY THE VIDEO EVER

goddammit. was it better if i never came back? i technically make everything worse.

• ..im really avoiding chat today. sorry.

i honestly had enough.

tch.

i hate hATE HATE!!!!!!!!!!!! it when a person talks with someone and responds to their messages occansionally but when it comes to someone else they just. dont even say a word. ITS SO FUCKING AGHHHH FRUSTRATING AND I HATE IT SM!!!! it isnt even fair dude.. i absolutely LOATHE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yk its even worse when i have a PHOBIA ABOUT BEING IGNORED........ its whatever if i didnt but augh im kinda tired of it being triggered nearly everyday

i dont care if this gets ignored anymore. my phobia?...

eh. whatever. not like its not being triggered everyday by other people.

• .all that shit aside, carrd update. https://josukesbizzareadventure.carrd.co...

I JUST FINISHED DIAMOND IS UNBREAKABLE. GODDAMMIT I UNDERSTAND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE PART 3 AND 5 BUT LIKE. I LOVE THIS PART THE MOST I DONT CARE!!!!!!!!! HELP

'..i understand but YOU LITERALLY WENT TO HEAVEN AND BACK WHAT THE FUCK. I WENT BATSHIT THERE.' - me

im scared. i dont know what do say and im scared. what if i say something wrong? make them feel worse? ah. always overthinking, red. always.

i miss everyone... i found yosafire and froze, and im also grora, but still.

kcalb, wodahs... eugh- i really miss everyone. not just them.

its fine. dont think much about it.

i.... fell so left out sometimes - iunno why, but i do. i feel this eith every group, and im convinced no matter the group im the least liked one. i dont know if all people are the same in my eyes and dislike me, or im nit likeable, but either way. thsts.... kne if the main reasons im suicidal. MOST people act like im a bother sometimes, and it hurts. jt hurts so, so, SO much. people are tired of me and my shit, right? gghhhhhh.

'OH GOD... okay, calm... you just need batteries- ill fix you! its gonna be okay...!'

out of everything i couldve get-

ghhhh,,,, if i could get some distractions it would be,, appreciated

maybe ill open up later if so

mmmmmhmhmmhmhhhhgggghhhyjhjhhhjjjj

good job devil. good fucking job. its all because youre forgetting tone indicators EVERY TIME that now there has been a misunderstanding. fuck you. you'll be punishing yourself bad for this.

haha. uh. h. hows it going.? sorry i wasnt uh. in the. chat. heh. honestly bet it was better without me, huh?

yea. er. uhh. thats it uh. im. probably gonna. disappear for. a few more. days. idk lol. unless someone convinces me otherwise. or something. not like. anyone cares though lmao. uhh. yeahbyenow.

i am sorry when it comes.

you hate me so much its visible. oh well.

ah..... yeah, well, about that.

its too late.

meh, just some swish swooshes with the pencil. TOTALLY not a lot.

,...honestly, i dont know if the pact is broken. but i... am breaking it. im sorry.

i had enough.

there you are ruining everything AGAIN, michael. hope you're happy. fucming piece of shit. bitch.

I N EED SK M ETH ING ELS E THIS USE LES S HO ODIE EONTNHH ELL P .

MORE COVERS!!!!!!

mghmmmmh... i feel like i fuck everything up, and that i fucked up the moment now... gghjgh imsorry but im gonna avoid chat im sorry for bothering you guys

GODDAMMIT I DIDNT SEE THAT UGUHHHFHGHH... thanks for atleast trying thou!!

i.. havent realized how worried i was that i decided to starve myself unknowingly...

nothings important right now. its okay. i wont eat.

_... should i let them all see the bottle..???

3 day streak of bottling up! this is going good lmao-

_...might aswell do this everyday. who needs to hear your problems when they're just a bother like you, steven? who??? who needs you to ruin the good mood EVERYTIME????

not a vent. nope. vents are kept in the bottle. always and forever.

HES MAKING ME SO, SO MAD. I WIHS I COUCLD OUCNH SOEM SENSE EINTO HIM.

[TRYING TO FORCE MYSELF INTO A GOOD MOOD-]

me: * wow im feeling so good i hope nothing goes wrong!

[me remembering what my mom said abt me]

`...uh! anyways!

[also remembers what henry told me]

UH.

_..i knew it would be useless. why did i do it..?

• ....█████████ █████████ █████, ████ ██?

hhoejennstltly poekase justs kkiiil mmme llemaseplea elease pleas3 im stavrrving snhryways llelsse jjsy0 doit

- * AGGGHHHHH WHATTHEFUCK.... im not that tv head am i?? theres LITTLE TO NO INFO ABT 'ME' ANYWAYS... AGGGHHH.

SOMEONE REALITY CHECK ME- IM STARTING THINK THAT IM HANK?? HELP- I DONT KNOW IF I NEED REALITY CHECKING OR NOT.

i want to cry. life is rough. i feel guilt for not seeing that message earlier in chat. im questioning again if im the real annie -or even annie herself- or not. i feel so fucking awful that i want to die just so i dont feel like this. this has been going on for the past few days actually- and honestly? i wanna end it all. i do not care anymore, this world does NOT need an annoying and stupid npc like ME. nothing makes me happy recently and i feel like shit. and dont get me started on my phobia being triggered everyday.. i honestly want to die.

-...i know.. THE bambom isnt supposed to be like this- oh goddammit. am i breaking out of code- sorry.

AGGGGGHGGFGFGGGGHHHHHH GRAHHRAHRH GRH GRHEG EUGH.

sorry i wanted to scream in some way

this close to reality checking myself.

-*remembers yesterday night and mood gets ruined again*

well... i was the one who caused it in the first place. why did i cry over it? im a monster.

dear fuck my bf makes me so happy. i lllove hiim,,, hheheheh /pos

if i keep rejoining and leaving, thats because my phobia is triggered.

-.........

-*slowly moves vanny and william to my dni list..... then covers my face and fucking sobs.*

WWWOW. PHOBIA GETS TRIGGERED AGAIN. SSHOCKERS. /NEG

-..i keep adding on my private listos..... eh.

im most likely doing it when everyone sleeps. still not sure, but most likely.

im sorry to be a burden. im sorry to be a burden. im sorry. but its okay now, im most likely gone for good.

• ..uhh... new irl.

hint: 'IM the gift!'. have fun.

i want to talk about gasa4: SC with someone. how come none of my friends know it- and plus i miss dummy and player (im okay with player doubles, yes i fucking made sure.). player was a silly little shit- and dummy... oh dummy. stop calling me dumb. im not dumb. still miss you though.

anyways.

\..sorry that ive been avoiding the chat today. something was telling me to not join, plus... thoughts. lots of. and phobia was triggered so bad from yesterday. im just a bother though, so bet you guys' days were better with me not in chat. just... tell me if im needed -if i ever will be, because why would a bother be needed- in chat. or if you miss me - again, why would you guys miss a bother and someone whos not good enough- lol.

youre a fucking bother. that's you, sunny. a bother.

/....anyways.

remember when you did that in media? killed your sister, mari? yeah. that piece of guilt and sadness, which follows you around since then, and SOMETHING? you fucked up your life, sunny. and yet you miss your sister and think that she loves you. of course she wouldnt. youll see, when you find her, she will NOT forgive you.

if you need me in chat tell me.

/...but you wouldn't. who would need a bother in chat? lmfaoooo.

im

sorry to be a bother, really. no dont try to tell me otherwise you wont be able to /srs

im really sorry lmao. might avoid the chat. nobody needs a bother hanging around anyways.

i have the listo for my fnf covers look at the links on my profile LMAO

gmmmh... i miss x. I WANT MY CO-HOST BACK ((´д｀)).......

im taking a break frkm the chat for reasons— junno how long. access me through insta if you need smth or need me back jn. thanks.

its okay. just continue.

but they would as-

-..continue. youll only do it if your blood sugar is low, to avoid coma. theres nothing in the house anyways.

punishing myself... feeling like im dreaming... unreal...

atleast i can punish myself properly— i just need to know if im dreaming or not.

im sleepy buy i donf wanna sleep...

i get it lol. i just deserve pain- its okay, ill most likely will be g- ...fine. i meant fine. my phobia is acting up and ive been feeling horrible since this morning. i just want the feeling gone.

im okay with doubles if you're my friend, and dont treat me like im. NOT also that person irl,, like that sucks so. please,, if u double me dont act like im not them irl also unless u didnt know!! /nbh

WH3N 1 ST4RT T0 T4LK, 1 W1LL T4LK L1KE TH1S. H3R3S 4 TR4NSL4T10N

A - 4

E - 3

I - 1

O - 0

1 M4Y 4LS0 T4LK L1KE; TH1_THthHH1S!

• *sits at a corner*
• *starts to bang my head on the wall-*
• gHHH AGHHHH

• .i saw a razor blade in our home.

im scared- but cant hurt to try..??? dads, auncle--- im sorry. i swear ill be okay.

• ..i dont know if i should trust myself.

i know, i know- ill just die soon. icant keep on living like this- i had enough. i already searched up ways to off myself long ago, and know the less painless way to do so. no, you wont change my mind. nobody will. nobody ever will. im failing school, im appearently just a liar in the fucking end. i will just s/icide in the goddamn end lol. again, DONT. CHANGE. MY. FUCKING. MIND. YOU CANT.

i wanna punch valentine sometimes.

thank you.

why am i questioning if im chris hes just in my favorite ghost n pals song help

CW // s/icide

im practically begging to die holyshit helpm e i might actually hurt myself

ugh... i feel like im not visible to others. maybe i WAS a-

valentine is coming home soon.... eugh.

arm hurty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

overdose... that's my only choice

ill think about it

• ..if i actually do it, im sorry. i might just not wake up ever again.

i feel really weird,, ive been feeling like this since i woke up and ghsgwhhh

plus i feel kinda bad too... agh

• .im in a thearchy mood.. thats literally me as im expunged irl too so... hm.

im doing a talentless fox cover but i sing tails' parts instead. im gonna edit monika's chromatic scale to change the pitch so it sounds like me (8sam)) and use that for the cover

I KNOW DAD SAID THAT IM TALENTED... but yea

why do i geel so fucking weird its like im lightheaded in a ahsfgsahgfsahfjdjasgf whgatthe actual fuck /neg

I FEEL SO FUCKING SILLY!! AHAUGHAUHGUAHGU HELERP