- on casual dating: "listen, all you have to do is go out and eat some chicken--with some rice on the side--and hope that you make fun of the same things. and if you don't, then you say, 'i'm sorry, but we don't make fun of the same things, seeya,' and you leave."
- on how to tell someone you just are not interested: "Listen, we ate some fuckin pizza and jumped on some trampolines, and you know what? i just don't think you're my life partner."
- on definition of a date: "A date is anything where two people hang out and it's not just because they want to eat pizza together."
- "people are like subway sandwiches. they taste different but they're all the same at the end of the day."
- "when you don't feel like dieting anymore, just get married."
- "men who date ugly girls don't have different tastes or think those girls are actually beautiful, they just think that's the best they can get."
- on how to get noticed by men: "the best thing you can do is just be skinny. you can have an ass-ugly face and be skinny and men will still mate with you."
- "don't tutor anyone unless you're going to get a date out of it."
- "nothing says 'i love you' like money."
- on flirting: "i used to stress out about it when I was younger and see it as a chore and a skill, but i've since learned that you can grow up and get all sophisticated and smart and classy, but in the end, we're all just people living on a planet and we don't know why, so we really should just act like it."
- "you gotta wet the paintbrush with many different colors."
- "you don't have to find a perfect ten right away, just someone to sit across the table and talk about your life with."
- "I hate hanging out with other guys. It's a total sausage fest. Guys don't like to talk, and girls do. I don't really wanna go shoot things. It's like hanging out with religious people: you can only take so much."
- "sometimes even if you really have feelings for someone, if you spend enough time with them it becomes like a vodka that you can't drink anymore because you smell your own vomit too often."
feb 18 2011 ∞
sep 4 2011 +
sep 4 2011 +