write five names, places, emotions, film or song titles, bands, anything that sums up your day. do it each day on your listography for a year, copy and paste this at the top of the list so people know what this list is all about. my start date: 01/24/14

• 12/18 — melty things, insecure
• 12/17 — accident, daydreaming h, cancer anxiety, twigs in my car, leaving my lipstick on j's chest
• 12/16 — stressing about this office party, my hair is really pretty today, i wear my hoodie again but can't hide certain things, just stop touching the spot = it goes away, i miss j
• 12/15 — straight through the door into j's arms crying about my body, it feels good to give some of my worry to him, matt's face when he saw i was back in his class, stressing about gifts and office parties, best at alienating myself
• 12/14 — can't sleep so read tess, feeling awful, looking for perfect home for us, ellie & thuy's relationships in foreign letters
• 12/13 — chocolate cakes, cool weather, foreign letters, obsessing twigs shows still, daydreaming h
• 12/12 — boys walking home being playfully teased by two dogs, fawn and mom running through dewy field on my way to work, the sun rising and hiding is also me, ♡, finish omar
• 12/11 — boy with fever sleeps at his desk during the crucible assignment, avoid n avoid n avoid n, reading in the courtyard tess and shivering, want to cut my hair so badly, dreary dreamy day
• 12/10 — holiday party, bros making racist comments, softest most dense rain, babely tess ♡, heathers
• 12/09 — alma's eyelid fluttering as she studies, tortie cat, kim grossly using my water bottle, watch angel fawn over tess, highlighting whole passages of hardy's tess to cherish and reading them over and over
• 12/08 — j at home after school, mac & cheese,
• 12/07 — the way mr. clare sees tess in the morning, wrapped up in blanket and sweater to read tess, adornment obsessing, my cough :/, scrubs
• 12/06 — takeout, beating hearts in jars, finish polanski's tess reluctantly
• 12/05 — more car anxiety
• 11/25 — sleepiestgirl, failed at watching tess at noontime, daydreaming about 11/26, bubble tea, i think i saw sea :/
• 11/24 — alma stuffing sliced apples in her mouth, i was so so nervous around h at the printer, anxieties, over-analyzing my actions, j acting strange
• 11/23 — iced tea in my shoes, j's warm mouth, crossword puzzles, play until it's too late to have a reasonable amount of sleep, anxiety
• 11/22 — lightening, soaked my flats on the path, running in the rain with j, thomas hardy's love for his tess
• 11/21 — klktx phone calls anxiety, willow & sza's 9, rain, talk too much about j at work with stranger, in loft reading tess
• 11/20 — transcribing alone = love/my happiness, matt keeps stealing glances from me in gov, lovely little rains, tahliah pretties, students not completing their projects
• 11/19 — disappointing dinner at disappointing place, buying little inexpensive things with j :), lipstick in the rear view mirror, j is not working tonight, warmth of his skin
• 11/18 — really qt apparently, forcing myself to talk to others is exhausting, longest shiny tresses, ringing in my ears is louder and it's depressing, gorgeous matt watching me leave class so...
• 11/17 — n on my last nerve it seems, j is home, knowing there is a video of h on the internet besides mine, finally send the letter, i miss j so, sweet sweet cats with cold paws
• 11/16 — make warm warm foods for j, phonetics, trace my lips with violet tint, the silver strands of my hair, twigs pretties
• 11/15 — peanut soup, cold and rainy, j is home early from work :), claims i gave him a weird face, being html-ing qt
• 11/14 — leave work early, buy j foods, pizza with j after work, polanksi's lovely _tess
• 11/13 — stay home from work, obsess marques' almeida
• 11/12 — my car wants me to live in a constant state of fear and worry, t sitting in rob's lap, i guilt n into doing my presentation because anxiety, i turn the key and matt is watching me from downstairs, i thrive in this cold weather
• 11/11 — reading the crucible with juniors ~barf~, chick'n spaghetti j made, "your coat is huge!" and other weird comments from clemente, avoids making small talk with n by leaving constantly, catch matt looking at me in class
• 11/10 — i didn't want to wake, finding ways to spend less time around n, post-birthday feels at work, phonetics, dreamboy and i are sitting in the tiniest vegan thai restaurant and rolling our eyes and giggling
• 11/09 — fka twigs' wet wipez, pizza with boy, drama television, we're not meant for this tiny home, meeting j for lunch at mediterranean diner
• 11/08 — savory breakfast at vegan diner, house hunting, prettiest weather, sleepiest girl, thai
• 11/07 — lilac roses, chocolate cupcakes, birthday dinner with j, obsessing tahliah, tickets for seeing celestial girl on nov 26th
• 11/06 — excluding white boys from private convos is the best, n infuriates me,
• 11/05 — rain, cold, i haven't been keeping track obsessively of h encounters like last year--that's progress right?
• 11/04 — rain, cold
• 11/03 — rain, dreary
• 10/31 — selfie day apparently, feeling like a garbage bag filled with sleeping pills, the collector, we have company
• 10/30 — immature school boys, i keep catching alec staring at me WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS AWKWARD EYE CONTACT, my throat is scratchy & hurts & i'm so fatigued i collapse in my car after work, i'm a tease, soooo soooo soo awkward meeting h at the school entrance he followed me so closely
• 10/29 — meet h at the intersection and he's looking in my car at me and i pretend i'm not interested, i'm awful sometimes, lights on was playing quite loudly in my car though, j and i went for a night time walk, i hate stress harassment but... ugh
• 10/28 — alec keeps looking at me in class, staring actually, sleepysleepy girl, less pain, so many times i wanted to just walk alone but it didn't happen, woke late and showered and somehow made it to work on time
• 10/27 — on a scale 0-5 the pain is a 3, smoothie after work and looking extra cute, in which i play fka twigs loudly for everyone to enjoy on my way home, late night walk with j
• 10/26 — so soooo much pain but it's getting better, kindness + kelela's with you, anxiety about training, the office (ugh, but it makes me laugh), winged eyeliner
• 10/25 — the pain is unbearable :(, feeling most miserable, today i need distractions, winged eyeliner practice
• 10/24 — training, in pain, † jaromil jirês, i saw l with ben, sylph gothic tahliah look is so dreamy, being cutest in my pink top and long brown hair
• 10/23 — aching, a new language, a fox crosses my path at night, pretty mexican bbs looking at me in class esp alec, i tried to leave campus but it wouldn't let me
• 10/22 — curry fried rice with green beans, late night walk with j and was a little idiot apparently, aching, fka twigs' throughglass, j brought my lunch to work and that made the day better
• 10/21 — i got through giving another interview!, sleepy-eyed girl, my eyes were closed in the group photo ofc, am i a bun because all these carrots, he says "one of those days where i can't wait to find a new profession"
• 10/20 — boardwalk with j, laughing, his hands on my butt tbh, twigs being creative as always, mia's nose, j makes us supper
• 10/19 — "why did you have to comment on her pale skin," sad eating at the table, body anxiety, butt rubs r best, i did the most today
• 10/18 — anxietygirl and crying in j's arms, house hunting, vampire film with j and holding his hand throughout, warmest oatmeal cherry cookies, i'm a sweet little love maker
• 10/17 — h says i'm magic, in which i am incapable of focusing after the h encounter, hours by fka twigs, blushing and a warmth comes over me, i dodged him in the hallway this morning
• 10/16 — procrastinating at work, worst news in the AM, worst news in the PM, i'm so tired, i cry in my car while listening to twigs in the back roads
• 10/14 — wake with lovely boy all warm and sweet, cute girl and boy in paris shopping, windows down during lunch break with fka twigs in my ears driving the winding roads, being qt, ♡ = "oh my god, i am tank girl"
• 10/13 — heavy rains with black sky, softest hair smelling of rain, walk during lunch and my hair is wild in the wind and stings my face, walk with j after dinner in the darkness and shrouded by trees hand in hand, my depressed boy
• 10/12 — outside with parents and cool breeze, arriving back to austin so quickly, lykke li's little bit, laughter with mom, weird mood when j got home
• 10/11 — ink on my fingers, smoke filled rooms, midnight drive through west texas, papa being chatty because beer, h enters my mind as i fall asleep in the back of the truck
• 10/10 — green juice with j at school, anxiety, driving with twigs to south tx, greens greens greens, seeing brother before work
• 10/09 — already planning to miss work, anxiety, taking my pulse
• 10/08 — taking my pulse
• 10/07 — taking my pulse
• 10/06 — walk with j in the darkness after supper, feeling anxiety about my health, painting my nails pretty, spottieottiedopalicious by outkast, beowulf (2007) in english iv
• 10/04 — pretty boy staying up late to solve murders, cammy distracting me, cold metal against my flesh ughh
• 10/03 — typical nessa pendejadas, anxiety
• 09/26 — work paranoia, walking towards h in the hallway (AM), walking away from h at 4 PM, brown teen fuckboys and blushing, being a tease
• 09/25 — alec is soo...., work is getting better i guess, the weeknd and drake's the zone, prettiest shiny brown hair, beet colored lips and cheeks
• 09/24 — brazilian mermaid's birthday, this day was so busy, but i watched half of real madrid vs elche
• 09/23 — leave us history to lurk the chemistry hallway, miss another real madrid game
• 09/22 — dreading a phone call from radiologist, marcelo and his eyelashes, twigs and rob, casting protective spells over tahliah
• 09/21 — x-rays and urine tests, j's flat tire, most of the day is blurry to me, i miss h, showering with j
• 09/20 — his tongue in my ear, running my fingers through his beard and he falls asleep, warm hips, chalupas finally, being constantly terrified of my body
• 09/19 — h at the bottom of the stairwell and i couldn't look, forcing myself to be social, in which i practice breathing, not in so much pain today, i miss h
• 09/18 — rain, so much worry, counting the seconds against my heart beat, lurking the chem hallway for a bearded babe, juice and salad
• 09/02 — feeling really cute lately, i miss h so, another day of my yt coworker making racist comments, feeling paranoid, so much limerence
• 08/15 — trumpet shaped/tubular/pendant flowers, iced coffee with j before he leaves, delete lists about sea
• 08/14 — wine puts me to sleep, listen to pedro infante, thinking i'm going to die from weird pains, sleep against the wall because cats own the bed apparently, dreading work
• 08/13 —
• 08/12 — anxiety, downhearted, remembering now why i shouldn't share everything in email, no self-care is working today, i'm stalling
• 08/11 — definitely anxiety, i'm so nervous i can't think straight, i don't want to go back to work, i'm starting to feel hopeless, people who are supposed to help you don't
• 08/10 — probably anxiety
• 08/09 — probably anxiety
• 08/08 — probably anxiety
• 08/07 — probably anxiety
• 08/06 — probably anxiety
• 08/05 — probably anxiety
• 08/04 — probably anxiety
• 08/03 — probably anxiety
• 08/02 — toasted coconut ice cream, bac'n cheese burger, mistletoe and mountain ash, cervix, being lazy
• 08/01 — errands, pasta, coffee craving, arroz y frijoles, anxiety
• 07/31 — j's stressful test, poppy seed ice cream, alphas, reproductive anxiety, ANXIETY
• 07/30 — ANXIETY
• 07/29 — veggie burgers, bow and arrow, girls wandering the wildwood, soreness, i'm still paranoid
• 07/28 — reproductive worries, wolfsbane & pendant heirlooms, anxiety, supernatural small town problems again, i don't want july ending yet
• 07/27 — lynch and lykke in i'm waiting here, something is very wrong inside me but i can't figure out what, like pulsing, with unusual bleeding, anxiety
• 07/26 — awful night / talks about absence of wandering hands, i haven't remembered my dreams for a while, 100 rep squat challenge, four mile hike with j, salty kombucha + choc chip cookie <3
• 07/25 — sleep late, moe is limping again, went for late night walk with j, cashew apple juice banana smoothie, teen wolf
• 07/24 — food, anxieties, fridita, wolfsbane, migas
• 07/23 — j off of work, very sleepy, library, complained about work things, morning hike
• 07/22 — six mile hike, my bones are aching, moe was upstairs on his own, girls in horror films tbh
• 07/21 — i couldn't sleep, friducha, i am pink embroidered choker + beet red lips + pretty brown skin, curry potatoes, pamela and nora's friendship
• 07/20 — wake to prettiest dream of h with a kiss, his beard was soooo black and pretty, what is this energy i have?, wake j with touching his inner thigh, moe walked up the stairs he was starving
• 07/19 — rice and beans mmmm, stalking tumblr girls, in which nora tells bram she's creepy and he likes it, sharing decadent cookies with j, the heck children
• 07/18 — utena grasping at the rose gate, h's family cat is khaleesi ♡ which is precious, jesus christ, i want to bite your thighs part 1
• 07/17 — [rubs j's butt all day], horrible horrible scary rains and thunder, enchiladas, sue and axl and brick, birthday card, i want so many things
• 07/16 — have lovely h dream, balsam encouraging me, sharing futbol babes with cammy, violetdark nostalgia, so very worried about our futures
• 07/15 — vampires, feeling overwhelmed, money anxieties, july feels it's already gone :(, so very worried about moe
• 07/14 — we're all so sleepy, thai takeout, lighting candles, mixed feelings about my summer ending too quickly, the strain with j
• 07/13 — anxiety, crying, trying to comfort m, helping him scratch his little cat ears, finally end of copa mundial
• 07/12 — mia tumbles down the stairs, we feel so stuck at this cabin & need to move, warm thai noodles, sending everyone pics of cat/cat beds, finally washed the pink flowers baked onto my car
• 07/11 — half-hour phonecall with family, too depressing about m's leg :(, i want to hug him so much but he's so anti-hug, sprinkling during our morning hike, putting heart-shaped glasses on mia
• 07/10 — j and my winding trail run in the dark with the full moon hidden by trees, j's hands on me, sea related work paranoia, dreamily stalking j's next campus, missing healthymoe
• 07/09 — crying in maine coon forums again, j's degree being challenged :(, anxiety, send help, please
• 07/08 — feline problems, stiles channeling bella-researching-mythological-creatures mode, food anxiety will it ever go away, fitgirl apathy tbh, mia attacked moe it was so awful
• 07/07 — my summer is disappearing, why is moe the gangly clumsy cat and mia is the ballerina princess tip-toeing around everything gracefully, i want to give them everything, i'm sf lazy, supernatural small town problems are my life
• 07/06 — making supper together, glass coke bottle struggle, all the yellowed leaves, irrational fears, so much foods till bursting
• 07/05 — thai takeout, creepy/dreamy claymation shorts, old twin peaks cast interviews, resting, sweetie mia
• 07/04 — twin peaks pilot alt ending was awful?, hipsters on our street celebrating the 4th ugh, papaya, so many people on hiking trail, mia hiding 90% of night because fireworks
• 07/03 — anxiety, lazy, hike, self-conscious, dreading work in late august
• 07/02 — wed morning eight-mile hike/run, recovery punch, sweaty & pretty, supernatural small town problems, i missed special agent cooper
• 07/01 — sweetest conure, grand re-opening, meeting new people & thinking no no no don't want this, gorging too much & reversing hard work, watermelon raspberry agua fresca
• 06/30 — committing, missing family, being in bed with j so much, binge watching seinfeld, h daydreaming
• 06/29 — pizza, football with j, silly sweet cats, bed, warmth
• 06/28 — [rolls over and sighs dreamily], vanilla coconut ice cream, food obsessing, me all of lately tbh, can't. fucking. deal., unexpected rains
• 06/27 — ヾ（*⌒ヮ⌒*）ゞrain!, spending money we should be saving, unsuccessful twin peaks hunt, young frankenstein, insects emerging from the rotting tree trunk
• 06/26 — balsam sends me a picture of her tan ♡‿ ♡, missing my supernatural fictional small-town & special agent dale cooper douglas firs and donuts and secret notes symbols and codes, it rained today on our hike, fuck i really miss h, i had a dream of aaron and it was dirty
• 06/25 — EARTHLY GIRLS LOVE FKA TWIGS shut up pitchfork, and cold rain, kombucha on tap, the unending search for twin peaks to marathon, my poor body image
• 06/24 — my summer will be pretty with new twigs music, tue morning hike, dreamgirl balsam and her birthday, raindrops with tree branches swaying, venting about negative people from our work
• 06/23 — rain as we leave the valley, girl tomb, thai, law & order, wisdom teeth and nerves
• 06/22 — anxiety over everything, finish all of pacific rim + dvd extras with his family, feeling odd, missing dear h, missing h so much
• 06/21 — “could i interest u in a picture of a cute mexican girl? (me)” j says to a raspa vendor, my paranoia, energy level 40%, world cup things, the valley is so boring so we stay inside watching kaijus vs jaegers & eat pizza
• 06/20 — rain in the valley, binge eating, baby andrew, sandia, sleepygirl
• 06/19 — law & order s01 marathon, tw-ache video, sweet tea, moroccan food, the one little raincloud above the cabin
• 06/18 — pizza, twigs, zero sleep, wednesday morning four mile hike with j in the rain, aguacate tacos
• 06/17 — thu morning hike, so so tired, evil sun, +0.8 lbs, xicana lit
• 06/16 — why do we go for hikes so late, our feet crunching the trail, my locks dripping with sweat, my waist is shrinking already, honeydew melon
• 06/15 — skin smelling of papaya mango and hibiscus, flautas, nectarines, future thinking, missing family
• 06/14 — another tumblr, making pretty moving files of tahliah, staying in bed all day, this day is a blur, blur blur blur
• 06/13 — a form of self-care tbh, j resting on me as he sleeps, friday 13th full moon, friday evening hike, don't tell of this place / it's for me and you only
• 06/12 — all energy drained, worst cramps, slowest trail hike ever, moody, blood
• 06/11 — seinfeld, running with j in the darkness, lightening bugs, owls, river
• 06/10 — i-i-i-i / ache-ache / for / you-you-you-you / ah-ah-ah-ah, fka twigs' ache, hiking, sweating, noodles
• 06/09 — dew on webs, sweat and rain, green everywhere, walking with j in the rain for two hours, listen to papi pacify on high quality ;_;
• 06/08 — boardwalk, four miles, qt dogs, fried foods :(, anything else is a blur
• 06/07 — stay up with j until 1am, watch black books, first official day of summer for me, snow cone and rusa with j, 2 on/thotful (mostly just drake)
• 06/06 — social avoidance, anxiety, hiding, most green fields, clouds
• 06/05 — stress, anxiety, stress, anxiety, stress
• 06/04 — never tell me no... yeah, ughhh & how twigs was wearing cottweiler probably in papi pacify, lacy things in bed/watching water me, something lovely, heat that's worth standing / i like it
• 06/03 — "my tits bother you? they're covered in swarovski crystals, girl" OMGGG, twigs, my perfect perfect pretty hair & getting all the looks, sweaty nessa, weird eval w/ supervisor left me feeling so UGH
• 06/02 — four more days, prepping for event, anxiety denial, walking 4 miles but really want to walk more and more and can't wait for summervacation, warm hands on my skin
• 06/01 — FIVE MORE DAYS, grad anxiety, bamboo, being poor, procrastination
• 05/31 — money sadness, watermelon + mint juice and chocolate cupcake outside with j, “who is the guy with the beard in ur camera roll?”, bank account, santiago & peralta
• 05/30 — countryside drive, & river, & h is missed, & staying late grant-writing, running up the stairs & falling & laughing
• 05/29 — dinner with brother & j, avocado tacos, longest nap, ughh forever misplaced girl, warm and drowsy
• 05/28 — asl tutoring session #2, tutorcrush though, dream of h, dee urging me to this conference for asl, miss seeing H so i walk down his hallway hoping for glimpses but honestly that door peep hole is small af
• 05/27 — money anxieties, kelela's bank head OMGGG, kelela is queen, j with me at lunch, passive agressive comments to d--he should be a cat i'd like him more as a nonhuman animal
• 05/26 — honestly sZa is everything to me right now, look at me being a coordinator of events at my school!, i'm an awesome girl, i get shit done, RAIN & THUNDER
• 05/25 — j's face in my bosom, how my body is so warm and smooth, loving my body, sZa, the sadness right now
• 05/24 — rain, the possibility of being able to get ahead this summer, summerbody thoughts, summerfood, summergoals
• 05/23 — j will be a teacher in the fall!!, lunch with j, honestly j is my world, his happiness is mine always, the future seems better
• 05/22 — asserting myself/boundaries confusing yt male coworkers, weird vibes all day, this made me happy, ugh yt male entitlement, sZa's UR
• 05/21 — ugh AD is there all the time, but h was in the workroom, people get uncomfortable if you don't acknowledge them at every step, i hate forced social interactions
• 05/20 — misunderstanding with n, the poor male ego, kelela's bank head, queen kelela, the middle reruns
• 05/19 — made a lunch (shock), the middle, sue heck, preparing for tue night event, ugh i love ruben
• 05/16 — choir, teen spirit, h's "welcome back" & smiles & flirting, ruben's long uncomfortable hug ♡, lack of $$$ 90% of my thoughts today
• 05/15 — cammy's "i luh you mami", my cute game strong today, sZa's teen spirit, avoid h eye contact because i'm anxietymessgirl, cantalope slush
• 05/14 — ruben & my keyboard tattoos, driving behind h's truck, forgetting everything, j's qt texts today, sZa's floor show
• 05/13 — don't remember much, stop glorifying yt men and women, h in the workroom, cutie ariel hugging me, sweet sleep
• 05/12 — ♡ sign language tutoring!, rain i missed, dark dark skies, fireflies, secretly being on the phone with j during work
• 05/11 — churrascaria, being monkeygirl, san anto, pretty pretty hair, family
• 05/10 — road trip home, girl cat is a boy cat actually, ja and ashanti, leaving late as always, dinner with mom
• 05/09 — thai with j, two bad weather systems closing in on us, leaving campus for hours, weird n feelings, energy
• 05/08 — h's sad "i'm alright," h holding the door open for me, walking quietly at h's side, lunch with j, rain
• 05/07 — drake's from time, not being able to breathe, early morning forever kissing, smoothies, lunch with j
• 04/29 — hair anxieties, feeling so unhealthy, seeing h in workroom, vanity, work stressing
• 04/28 — walking through neighborhood with j in darkness, wildflower ice cream, yerba mate, 90s hip hop, hair anxiety
• 04/27 — the male gaze, shift in what's beautiful, positive/negative charge problems, artichoke enchiladas, cruising
• 04/26 — mexican girl tumblr lovelies, music, bonita applebum, flesh on flesh, food obsessing
• 04/21 — in the mirror i am bruised from kisses and biting, purple skin, pale pink bra, longest hair, showing j
• 04/19 — scent of mold, necessary monitoring, queer there + everywhere podcast, squirrel watching, sweetie cats
• 04/18 — infatuated with prettiest music video, avocados, holyday, intense h daydreams, feeling guilty
• 04/17 — crying because i never see him, the vanishing grey truck, nourishing, "out of sight out of mind" doesn't work, "there's no name on this--oh!"
• 04/16 — scatter(work)brain, first timetable of the year, mia's sneaky tabby paw, seeing h leave campus at 3, treating myself to raw vegan goods
• 04/15 — realizing self-help is leaving toxic situations and not to feel bad about it, h's grey truck behind me, being to work early, full moon, dumplings
• 04/14 — windy cold then stillness and sunlight, blemishes, heaviness, decolonization, mom's good news ♡
• 04/13 — flesh, little videos, sesame noodles, indecision, rain
• 04/12 — flesh, it's too complicated, wardrobe daydreaming, fixated on weight, pants too tight
• 04/11 — finally see h, he's with l, insecurity, "it's official" :), tina + louise + gene
• 04/10 — adjustments to the master schedule, website suspense, jasiel, bratty a, online class stress
• 04/09 — want to sew n's mouth shut, bratty girl returns to classes, wake up super late, arrive to work super late, leave super late
• 04/08 — texas wildflowers, n on my last nerve, wine in bed, french, apple pie smoothie
• 04/07 — coconut ice cream, + riesling in bed, ruben & art being sweet in senior class mtg, louise/tina/gene antics, moody j
• 04/06 — breakfast hunt, transportation anxiety, food anxiety, freelance search, sea's picture
• 04/05 — $700, perfect house hunt, donuts (again!), malcolm in the middle!, god... jessa's wardrobe [applauds approvingly]
• 04/04 — why do i even watch "girls", inauthenticgirl, authenticgirl, vegan donuts, leaving work early
• 04/03 — uncomfortable, gossipy coworkers, guilt, being rudegirl, pizza
• 04/02 — heaviest eyelids, weird atmosphere, tess, "not i: part two", properly nourishing myself
• 04/01 — horrible meeting nightmare day that could have been worse, lasagna, male student flirting with me, anxiety, insomnia
• 03/31 — prettiest breeze, board games with j, secretive meeting, anxiety, vegan donuts
• 03/30 — planning meals, shopping, everything is centered around food, food is my anxiety, inundation
• 03/29 — burnt chili garlic noodles <3, ilana & abbi's sweet relationship, playing in bed until so so late, → making j too sleepy for work, lykke's “youth novels”
• 03/29 — moody, walking in wildwood, cold, library, motivated
• 03/28 — so tired, awful hair day, feeling ugly, lying on the cold floor with j until we were left talking in the dark, buying music
• 03/27 — weird, exercise, lovely sun, braided crown, rae and chloe
• 03/26 — rose & sage cigarette on my break, being responsiblegirl, hard-working, sudden drop in temp, most cold raindrops
• 03/25 — crescent moon, encased butterfly, oil pressure, somnolent, long black dress
• 03/24 — laughs with n in class, salted caramel ice cream, record shops, feeling shitty, smashing pumpkins’ 1979
• 03/23 — delivering green juice to my babe at work, fried rice, mmfd, pale pink nails, my cherry red car
• 03/22 — lovely parents, house hunting, burningman hippie girl in the yard, showing j where i work, bleeding
• 03/21 — waking to sweet dream of h, waking happy, disappointment, rae's love, rae's body
• 03/20 — accusations of literature book theft, syrupy, h's bearded silhouette, sun-kissed sleepygirl, sneaking around hallways
• 03/19 — bruised lips from sleepy kisses, vampire & the swan girl, purple & red love marks on my skin, sleep deprived, persian lime
• 03/18 — blood clots, butterfly amulet as distraction & comfort, removed myself from scheduled daily anxiety/negative environment which makes me feel stronger—not weak, n & our looks, j's toothbrush on the sink means so much... means i'll have him in my bed tonight
• 03/17 — lovely lungs, solitary, longing, blood, no h
• 03/16 — in my head too much, making meals with him, cold shift in weather, sunnydale, curtains in the violent wind
• 03/15 — indecision, list obsessing, teen dramas, coyote teeth, my poor little mouth :(
• 03/14 — longest drive north, owl cave, saliva, the kiss of not seeing j for three days, greedy bratty cats
• 03/13 — beach city, longest wait, the clear sky at night, dad's strays, home feels so far away
• 03/12 — lingering goodbye kisses, longest drive to hometown, teengirl anthems as my roadtrip mixtape, family, trivia on television
• 03/11 — ♥ supernatural fictional small-town problems in my head, thai takeout, insomnia, too many thoughts, work anxiety
• 03/10 — sxsw, nightlife, pretty music coming through my window with the cool breeze, pizza at midnight, twin peaks marathon
• 03/09 — stalking owl bicycle, healthy & magical concoctions, indian food, stroking warm skin, spring break indecision
• 03/08 — missing j, mmfd, rainy, keeping toxic thoughts, most realistic & pretty j sex dream (ﾉ∀`♥)
• 03/07 — ughh being lostgirl on the toll roads of central texas, pizza, spring break!, laughing, catching up on new eps of community and parks & rec
• 03/06 — worst day for my s.a. and paranoia, hearing true feelings about me, feeling like shitty human, making raw vegan boston cream pie, ultimately... warm bed with j at the end of a horrible and cold day
• 03/05 — being unhealthy girl, first pair of converse, supersonic speeds, coworker jerks, overplaying little dragon’s a new
• 03/04 — soup, freezing rain, late to work, being j’s nurse, h’s black suede shoes
• 03/03 — uncertainty, noticing change in shape, sleepily loving j, warm under the sheets, moody loves
• 03/02 — rain and cold, broad city, being in panties and bra all day, dreamy music videos, keep thinking of sea (ugh)
• 03/01 — being so tired, so sleepy, crazy cats, driving fast with the windows down, rubbing j's thighs
• 02/28 — braided crown, gross fake people, whole foods, weird energy cont., most chatty girl
• 02/27 — wild energy, yukimi, looking between legs at fragile things crashing, laughter, my ponytail
• 02/26 — lovely rain, chills, loudest music, yerba mate, cat talk
• 02/25 — h floating all around me in class, his weird vibes; broods' bridges, being chattygirl, collecting snails at dawn
• 02/24 — making out, adoration, petting, softest skin, dirty talk
• 02/23 — laundry, work anxiety, etsy dreaming, adoring music, gardens and villa's orange blossom
• 02/22 — adornments, louis c.k., ringlets in my hair, daydreams, procrastination
• 02/21 — h playing lorde's buzzcut season in chemistry, me in a little green truck and h seeing us and smiling, prettiest weather, sitting in the courtyard, leslie staring at me in the auditorium
• 02/20 — h’s plaid, sexual innuendo in chemistry, constant little glances, isolating myself, avoidance
• 02/19 — videochat with aubrey, god i miss aubrey, signing i miss you and aubrey signing back same; asl means so much more than spoken words these days, lacy bras
• 02/18 — chattygirl, jealousy, h’s glances in class, strawberries with lip gloss, overcast day
• 02/17 — shower with j, lunch with j, peppermint, the daylight on our skin and blue, his beard + the pretty scents of the oils
• 02/16 — manuel ferrara, ← his french in porn, twin peaks, strawberries, warm bed
• 02/15 — solitary, h daydreams, food obsessing, work anxiety, i just want one day without work thoughts
• 02/14 — our 10 year anniv., pizza + twin peaks in bed, j.e. pocket book, lovely warmth of the sun, full moon
• 02/13 — twin peaks, being alone, h's peach, waxing gibbous, morning intimacy
• 02/12 — work (ugh), coconut water & flesh, twin peaks, pretty hair, julio
• 02/11 — paranoia, anxieties, cold rain, hot shower, exhaustion
• 02/10 — rusted red jetta; sleep vs tired; darondo’s didn’t i; olive green; sudden drop in temperature
• 02/09 — best vegan taco salad; candles everywhere; magical tumblr girls; pretty weather; naked girls
• 02/08 — most babely ever alexander ebert, del rey tacos, tidying up the cabin, dreamy loft, daydreams
• 02/07 — the transfer of paper from his hand to mine, h's boots, waving goodbye nervously; uneaten raspberries, warm hands on cold body
• 02/06 — snowy bridge accident, perfect wavy hair, river chasing em in the courtyard, missing nate’s birthday for being so self-absorbed, h standing next to me texting in chemistry
• 02/05 — anxiety, north highlands’ collar bones, h’s hallway duty, avoidance, raw foods
• 02/04 — failed Spy Girl with camera phone to catch H’s glances, warm cats in my lap, H trying for my attention, radiating my anxious energy, being impulsive Anxiety Girl
• 02/03 — J on trip, purity ring's grandloves, perfect pretty hair, devouring raspberries, faux fur
• 02/02 — teen porn's twist n' shout, warmth of skin, being lazygirl, work obsessing, no vanity for once
• 02/01 — daydreaming, etsy, fixating on amulet, vanity, spankings
• 01/31 — dream of H, perfect timing and H's "hey"; black moon on my pale skin, breeze on the porch with J, moonlight on our skin
• 01/30 — H’s proximity to me always in class today, H giving me handouts before anything, his hallway duty and how i have to say goodbye to pass him, magical butterfly amulet, sexual innuendo
• 01/29 — cold, faux fur, library, anxiety, chamomile lavender tea
• 01/28 — H email obsessing, ice cream and coffee with J in the cold, butterfly pendant, icicles, blood + meth + tears (5x16 ♥)
• 01/27 — lunch of jewel-colored fruits, red plastic fork, H's haircut, nervous email to H, anxious email checking
• 01/26 — bed, heat, shelter, warm food, breaking bad
• 01/25 — pinkman, pomegranates, stained fingers, being the girl that only leaves the house to buy cat's food, youth lagoon's worms
• 01/24 — sleet, breaking bad, cacti, school canceled, anxiety